Things got spicy on MAFS tonight as a dinner party served up some major drama, and once again a number of editing gaffes threatened to derail a drama-fuelled evening.
A dinner party veritably riddled with them, from a stray camera to a misplaced producer, it was the case of the mysterious vanishing bride that turned die-hard fans into sleuths trying to figure out when Vanessa learned to teleport.
During a tense conversation in which Michael decides to stir the pot and tell Mikey his wife has been making fun of his performance in the bedroom, Vanessa can be seen sitting on hubby Chris’s lap between Michael and Mikey.
She even gets a speaking role, asking Mikey, “Are you drained? You look drained.”
“Yeah,” says Mikey, as the camera cuts to him. “I’m a bit overwhelmed right now.”
Turns out Vanessa couldn’t give a toss about the answer, because when the camera pans back she has hightailed it out of there in approximately 0.001 seconds.
Sure, I know what you’re thinking. She probably just got up and went somewhere else. And you could be right.
Two microseconds later, she’s back:
It all happens rather quickly and you could be forgiven for blinking and missing it.
But sometimes the fourth wall comes down and the magic of television loses a little of its sheen.
As for the rest of the evening, it unfolds a little less mysteriously, with subtlety well and truly out the window.
Dinner party debacle
First Steve and Michael squared off about kissing at the weddings.
Then Steve and Michelle squared off about Steve being the worst.
Then Hayley declared that David had spanked her so hard she had handprints on her behind.
We’ve all been there.
Roll up. Roll up.
The night’s biggest theatrics without a doubt came from the aforementioned sex-shame incident.
Starring as the leads are Mikey and Natasha, with a meddling Michael directing the action.
Seeing Mikey and Natasha get cosy, Michael tells Stacey he thinks it’s ‘fake’ of Natasha to cuddle up to her new husband after telling people at the cocktail party that he’s a dud in bed.
Ever the good samaritan, Michael decides to tell Mikey that his new bride has been sex-shaming him by telling others he only lasted ten seconds in bed.
“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, prepare yourselves,” says Michael to camera. “We’re gonna poke the bees nest, we’re gonna get the wooden spoon out. and we’re gonna make this dinner into a show.”
The puppet master
“Mikey, come for a chat,” says Michael. “It’ll only take ten seconds.”
What a guy.
Claiming to have his best interests at heart, Michael delivers the news to Mikey, leaving him red-faced and clearly wounded.
“I feel like I’ve just been slapped in the face,” we hear Mikey say. “I feel really hurt.”
“I feel so sorry for you,” says Michael, rubbing salt right in.
The judges chime in here, agreeing that Mikey has been “deeply, deeply betrayed” by Natasha but also acknowledging Michael’s hand in the melodrama.
Back at the table, Michael says Natasha was “trying to make you look like a mug in front of me,” just in case Mikey hadn’t figured that out himself.
We then hear a heartbroken Mikey profess, “Right now, I actually don’t know what’s going on...I’m really struggling.”
Mikey becomes increasingly worked up until eventually, he decides he needs time to think.
“Right now I’m really angry,” he says to camera. “I don’t want anything to do with Natasha.”
As he gets up to leave the dinner party, she can see something isn’t right.
“You good Mikey?” Natasha asks, going over to him. “What happened?”
“I’ll talk to you later,” he mumbles. “I just want to be alone.”
And with that, Mikey storms out, then Natasha storms out, then we storm out because who the hell can keep up with this multi-layered sh*t-fight?
MAFS continues Sunday 7:30 pm on Nine.
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