James Middleton Reveals His Therapy Was 'Easier' for Sisters Kate and Pippa Than For Their Parents
Carole and Michael Middleton “saw it as a challenge” because they wondered “where they had gone wrong,” he says
As he promotes his new book, Kate Middleton’s younger brother James Middleton revealed that family therapy sessions were “easier” for sisters Kate and Pippa Middleton — and more challenging for their parents.
Meet Ella: The Dog Who Changed My Life is out this week, and in it James details his struggles with depression, including how he almost succumbed to suicidal thoughts in 2017. In the memoir’s pages, James, 37, gives glimpses into not just his life but members of his family’s lives, as well. In the book, he shared insight into when his parents and sisters joined in on some of his therapy sessions — and how his parents Michael and Carole Middleton struggled more with them than his two older sisters as his parents wondered “where they had gone wrong,” James said in an interview with Hello!.
James wrote in the book of a rock bottom moment where he almost succumbed to suicidal thoughts, but was stopped by the idea of what might happen to Ella, his beloved dog, after he died. By the end of 2017, James gave his therapist permission to talk to his “desperately worried” parents Michael and Carole and sisters Kate and Pippa about the struggles he was facing, telling Hello! That family therapy was like “having a translator.”
“It was easier for my sisters, because initially my parents saw it as a challenge for them,” James said, emphasizing that it was “so important” to have an impartial third party tell his parents that his struggles weren’t something they had “done” to him.
“Once I started to understand a bit myself, and then for my sisters to understand it, who could then also speak to my parents,” he said. “Now, it’s something that can be discussed at the dinner table. It’s helped us as a family — not just me individually, but as a unit — to be more open.”
Related: 'I Blink Away Tears:' Read an Excerpt from Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life by James Middleton
PEOPLE exclusively excerpted James’ book — which came out in the U.S. on Sept. 24 and in the U.K. on Sept. 26 — and spoke to him about it, and he told PEOPLE of his family, “We spoke more openly not about our own mental health as a family. That is a great thing.”
In addition to parents Michael and Carole and sisters Kate and Pippa (and their respective husbands and three children apiece), James has started a family of his own with wife Alizee — the two welcomed son Inigo last October. As to his family’s reaction to Meet Ella, he shared with PEOPLE, “The embrace of a hug from a family member means more than words. We’re a close family, but it’s brought us together. I know they’re proud of me for telling my story.”
Related: James Middleton: 'We Speak More Openly Now About Mental Health as a Family' (Exclusive)
Writing his memoir “took me on a journey,” he told PEOPLE. “I hope that my son is able to learn about his own mental health way before I did so that he doesn’t have to go through some of the very painful moments that I went through.”
After joining the royal family in 2011, Kate has made mental health a cornerstone of her work as a royal. The Princess of Wales, 42, has also experienced health struggles, announcing her cancer diagnosis on March 22 and then, nearly six months later, on Sept. 9 that she had completed chemotherapy.
“My love and respect for my sister is huge,” James told PEOPLE. “I support her and everything that she’s doing. I recognize that there’s interest in my life because of who she is, and it took time to adjust. But I’m proud of who I am. It just so happens that my sister is who she is.”
After announcing her diagnosis in March, James showed his support for his sister on Instagram, writing alongside a photo of the two of them with a mountain range in the background, “Over the years, we have climbed many mountains together. As a family, we will climb this one with you too.”
“There are huge numbers of people who go through [cancer],” James told PEOPLE. “It doesn’t matter who you are, what your upbringing is. Life throws you obstacles.”
He added, “We are a close family. It is always important to have support around you and not do things alone. Sharing it does help bring people together. My love and support for my family is more than just an Instagram post.”
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Ella — a dog so important that she made it to the title of James’ memoir and is the namesake of his ethical dog food company James & Ella — died in January 2023 at the age of 15; nine months later, James and Alizee’s son Inigo was born. (James, by the way, met Alizee at a Chelsea bar after Ella wandered over to her table.) James said he is “absolutely certain” Ella sensed Alizee was pregnant, “and that, in terms of timing, was the time to slip off,” he said. “One last gift that Ella gave me was leaving at a time when I was ready to let her go, in a way. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be here today. I’m so thankful for that.”
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.
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