How to cope with a breakup at Christmas, according to an expert

·Lifestyle & Entertainment Producer
·4-min read

Dealing with a breakup at any time of the year is difficult, but it can be especially tough when it's Christmas time - a time to be with the ones you love.

So, if you're going through a breakup right now, allow us to offer some advice, courtesy of relationship expert Anne-Marie Cade.

A relationship expert reveals how to cope with a breakup at Christmas time. Photo: Getty
A relationship expert reveals how to cope with a breakup at Christmas time. Photo: Getty

Anne-Marie shares with us why it's important to spend some time on your own and learn to be independent, but also to lean on your friends and family.

Don't rush into another relationship 

"If you are coming out of a long terms relationship, it is important to spend some time on your own learning to enjoy your own company and getting to know yourself," she tells us. "It's also important to take time out to grieve the old relationship and heal those wounds. It's also important to learn to be independent and not have to always rely on someone. 

"This all takes time so it's important to take time out and also learn from the mistakes you made in the last relationship. The amount of time needed to heal differs from person to person."

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While it may be tempting to find someone new to date, Anne-Marie adds, "Don't be in a hurry to get out and date again. You need to start building your dating confidence. Take time to assess what you need in a new relationship so you can make better choices. Think about lessons you learnt from the past. Look internally about what you can do better as well. 

"Think of the type of person you tend to attract and why it hasn't worked out in the past. Then start designing your ideal partner in your mind. You must look at what you need in a partner. Once this is clear in your mind then you can go out and start dating again."

Enjoy time with family and friends

Anne-Marie suggests spending time with supportive friends and family at Christmas. Photo: Getty
Anne-Marie suggests spending time with supportive friends and family at Christmas. Photo: Getty

This time of the year is even more stressful because of 'milestone dates' like Christmas and New Years Eve, but Anne-Marie suggests rather than being afraid of being alone during these days, you should surround yourself with supportive friends and family and plan the days with things you enjoy.

She added, "Do things that you love to do, find a new hobby, join craft groups, church groups or other social groups so you can meet new people and form new friendship circles. Start an exercise routine. Stay busy but don't forget to make time for 'downtime' too."

If you are spending the day with extended family, you'll likely be unable to avoid questions of your ex popping up. If this is the case, Anne-Marie suggests trying to steer the conversation elsewhere, "Answer any questions very briefly without providing too much detail and then politely steer the conversation away from your ex, change the subject. 

"Retelling your story will only make you feel worse."

Spoil yourself

When buying gifts, why not buy something for yourself too? Photo: Getty
When buying gifts, why not buy something for yourself too? Photo: Getty

If you can, Anne-Marie also suggests that you should spoil yourself a little with a gift, "Apart from that, indulge in gratitude practices daily, daily journaling and meditation also helps. Start an exercise routine. Enjoy the fresh air outside whenever you have the opportunity. Ensure that you get a good night's sleep and eat nutritious food."

Avoid social media

While it might be tempting to check out what your ex is up to, stay off social media as much as possible and even delete your ex on Instagram and Facebook.

"If you feel that you want a clean break and don't want constant reminders of what they are doing, this is a good idea, and you can add them again once you have got over the relationship," Anne-Marie said.

'Fake it 'til you make it'

So, is it better to fake being happy until you actually are, or should you sit with your feelings? Anne-Marie tells us: "Fake it 'til you make it, I say. Focusing on the positives rather than dwelling on what has gone wrong will attract more positive things into your life. Where focus goes, energy flows. Having said that, you must also acknowledge that the parting was painful and take time to grieve the loss. A good cry sometimes is OK and helps relieve tension too."

She added, "I believe that there is always a lesson to be learnt. People come into your life for a reason and a season, and we learn from these experiences. These experiences, however painful, make us stronger."

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