Kids say the darndest things, particularly when they want something.
Case in point is a youngster from Essex in the UK whose epic letter to Santa contains no less than 12 elaborate and expensive gift requests, from AirPods to a trip to France.
The nine-year-old girl’s extensive wish-list was shared by her older brother on Twitter, who appeared both impressed and astonished by her demands.
“Y’all, look at this letter my little 9y/r sister wrote to Santa,” he wrote.
The girl begins her letter with a bit of chit chat with the big man himself, no doubt in hopes of getting her present requests over the line.
“Dear beloved Father Christmas, I hope you've had a wonderful year and you've been well,” she writes.
The tone quickly shifts when she confesses to being on Santa’s ‘naughty’ list this Christmas.
“My year has been quite the opposite. I've tried hard to be good but miserably failed.
“I'll be honest I do deserve coal, but please I’d love to have a present.”
Here, she gets down to business and outlines her demands.
“Actually more than one [present]. Here’s a list - tick the boxes if you have done them,” she instructs Mr Claus.
We hope he had something a bit stronger than a glass of milk in hand before reading on because these gifts won’t come cheap — and might not fit in his sleigh, for that matter.
AirPods, a panda and... hand sanitiser?
First up, the girl asks for Apple AirPods which can retail for up to AUD$320, followed by a games console and, of course, a snake.
Next, she wanted a Playstation 5 and 4, a Nintendo Switch, a DJ set, an iPhone 12, a laptop and the “latest” computer. At this stage, Saint Nick can kiss goodbye to several thousand bucks. But wait, there’s more.
She’s asked for a trip to France for the whole family, specifically five tickets.
And, we’re not sure what the going rate is for a live panda and a penguin, but they probably don’t come cheap.
At the more affordable end of the spectrum is the complete set of The Wizard of Once books and, in a nod to the pandemic, some hand sanitiser.
“Hopefully you succeed to fulfil my requested items,” she signed off in breezy fashion.
Twitter users were delighted and taken aback in equal measure by the girl’s remarkably articulate and brutally honest correspondence.
“I don’t know what shocks me more; the fact that you have a 9y/o sister, her handwriting or her use of diction and syntax at that age,” remarked one.
“I feel for the parents, also, her vocabulary is great!” added another.
Another agreed, adding, “Y’all should at least at the bare minimum complete half of her request. She invested a lot in making that list.”
One Twitter user couldn’t get over her request for a pet serpent.
“Sis wants a snake,” they wrote with a crying-laughing emoji.
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