Elton John Was 'Miserably Unhappy' Over Stormy Romance When He Wrote 'Candle in the Wind': 'I Kind of Fell Apart'

As the prime of Elton John goes, 1973 was the very best year. He was in the middle of a major hit-making streak, and he released his most successful album, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, which introduced the title song and the future classic, "Candle in the Wind," to the world.

But the haunting melodies of John's greatest hits from this era, like that ode to Marilyn Monroe — which John and his songwriting partner, lyricist Bernie Taupin, turned into an ode to Princess Diana after her death in 1997 — reflected John's inner turmoil at the time. He was in the throes of a stormy five-year relationship with his manager John Reid.

“It was the same time John Reid broke my heart. My relationship with him wasn’t all it was meant to be," John, 77, explains in his new documentary Elton John: Never Too Late, which premiered Dec. 13 on Disney+.

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The relationship, which lasted from 1970 to 1975, had a profound effect on John's songwriting at the time (he wrote the music for most of the songs he released during this period, while Taupin wrote the lyrics) — and on his psyche, too.

“When I wrote those songs I was miserably unhappy," he says in the documentary. "That kind of came through in the songwriting. It was very very moving to me, and it was very very cathartic.”

Reid, 75, was something of a VIP in the '70s classic-rock scene, as he also managed Queen in the late '70s. He has the distinction of having been portrayed in both the 2018 Queen biopic Bohemian Rhapsody (by Aiden Gillen) and in the 2019 John biopic Rocketman (by Richard Madden). In the documentary, John describes Reid during their relationship as unfaithful and "very rough."

"I was very naive," he says. "I didn’t know that he was having sex outside the relationship. When I found out about it, I was crushed."

"I had a party at the house, and we had a fight, and he smacked me in the face," John continues. "He made my nose bleed, cut my face. I loved John a lot, but I said, ‘I can’t go through this anymore.’ And when that fell apart, I kind of fell apart."

The relationship took a toll on the superstar, especially after it was over. "John left an emptiness within me," he says. "I thought being alone was a sense of failure. Why isn’t someone with me? I’m not good enough. I chased relationships. I chased love — always looking for love all the time."

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While he was recording his 1974 album Caribou, the follow-up to Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, John was introduced to cocaine, leading to a years-long descent into addiction. "I was desperately wanting happiness, and going the wrong way about it," he says, comparing himself during that period to doomed legends Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe.

After they split romantically, Reid would continue being John's manager until they parted ways professionally in 1998 after 28 years. In 2014, John married filmmaker David Furnish, 62, after 21 years together. They share sons Zachary, who turns 15 on Christmas Day, and Elijah, 11.

Furnish co-directed the new documentary with R.J. Cutler. "He's genuinely so happy," Furnish told PEOPLE at the Toronto International Film Festival premiere of Elton John: Never Too Late in September. "So for us to be at this moment right now, after so much hard work and so much anticipation, there's a lot of heightened emotion."

Elton John: Never Too Late is now streaming on Disney+.

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