Yahoo Lifestyle Demi Moore's Powerful Golden Globes Speech Reveals 1 Issue That's Too Common For Many Of Us
Demi Moore had a candid moment onstage during the Golden Globes on Sunday night. While accepting the award for Best Performance by a Female Actor in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy, she talked about her past experiences dealing with low self-worth — an issue that many of us can relate to regardless of fame.
The veteran actor, who won her first-ever Golden Globe for her lead role in the body-horror film “The Substance,” revealed onstage that an unnamed producer once told her that she was a “popcorn actress,” something she internalized to mean that she wasn’t meant to ever earn an award for her work. Her win over the weekend marks the first time she’s won an acting award in her 40-plus-year career.
“I bought in and I believed that,” she said about the producer’s words. “And that corroded me over a time to the point where I thought a few years ago that maybe this was it.”
She added that she reached a “low point” before she was given the script to “The Substance.”
“The universe told me that you’re not done,” she said.
Moore then shared that a woman once advised her to “put down the measuring stick” in order to know the value of her worth and to realize that she is “enough.”
Self-worth is defined as the “internal sense of being good enough and worthy of love and belonging from others,” according to the University of North Carolina Wilmington’s counseling center.
“People with low self-worth often criticize themselves and abilities, brush off compliments or positive qualities, focus on mistakes, what they didn’t do, or what other people seem to do or have,” it states.
Racine R. Henry, a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified clinical trauma professional, said that Moore’s experience with that producer — and how that impacted her feelings of self-worth — is “absolutely” a common experience. You don’t need to be famous to understand Moore’s feelings in her speech.
“How a person speaks to another, and the commentary made on their looks, qualities as a person, or the likelihood of their future being successful, can have really harmful outcomes,” Henry told HuffPost. “We all have opinions, and we all judge, but we never know how expressing those thoughts and feelings may land for someone else.”
She noted that this issue can also come up with parents, who are “cautioned not to be their child’s first bully.”
“Low self-worth can happen to all of us to varying degrees,” she said. “Some of us may have moments of doubt or feel disappointed in ourselves when we make a mistake or fall short of an accomplishment.”
Henry explained that these moments can turn into life-altering situations when someone has a lack of support, ineffective coping skills or an unclear sense of self. And for a person who is dependent on external validation to feel worthy, receiving negative feedback or rejection can be “very detrimental.”
People may develop feelings of low self-worth from romantic relationships, friendships or their workplace, as well as from social media and the internet, which Henry believes are the “biggest source of low self-worth.”
“We have so many sources of comparison,” she said, noting that the rise in online content creation has helped to position more and more people as new benchmarks for one to compare themselves to. As a result, this can make someone feel insecure or inferior, Henry explained.
“These feelings can be detrimental if the source is given too much importance or priority,” she said.
What are some ways you can combat feelings of low self-worth?
Henry said that it’s “completely normal” to have feelings of insecurity or low self-worth, as long as they “don’t consume you or become your primary thoughts.”
“It’s important to keep things in perspective and to ground yourself in tangible, positive and healthy sources that are affirming,” she said. “Be mindful of how much you’re [doomscrolling], the content you’re consuming and what you are feeling while you’re watching. Try to limit what doesn’t feel good.”
Henry recommended that people experiencing these feelings reach out to others who love and care about them and to find people and places where they can be vulnerable.
“Create lists and other reminders of how far you’ve come and how much you’ve been able to achieve,” she said, noting that it can also be helpful to create small benchmarks toward your goals.
“Take breaks from the plans you have for yourself to enjoy the present,” she added. “Give yourself some grace and celebrate you whenever you can.”
