Pascal left Joan's 'Golden Bachelorette' because he was 'the chosen one': 'Men Tell All'
When last we saw Joan Vassos, the glamorous Golden Bachelorette was lost at sea in Tahiti, emotionally reeling from Pascal's dramatic cruise ship self-elimination.
But if you were expecting bitter tears, tantrums or confrontations between Joan and Pascal – or Joan and any of the senior society of roseless castoffs – during ABC's "Men Tell All" episode Wednesday, you'll have to get your rancor fix from cable news.
Because "Golden Bachelorette" felt so goo-ey good with the men embracing Joan, 61, and each other with hearty Sensitive Man Hugs. There were tears, but from joy rather than Joan, whose biggest drama was the correct choice of her audacious Cult Gaia gown.
Even Pascal, 69, the once-bearded hair stylist from Chicago, kept a happy smile on his clean-shaven face when he wasn't taking his turn on the mildly hot seat to talk with host Jesse Palmer.
Here are the warm and cuddly high points:
'Golden Bachelorette' drama at sea Pascal and Joan hit rough waters on Fantasy Suites cruise ship
Charles rocks Bachelor Nation as stan demands 'Golden Bachelor' status
One big surprise is the love outpouring for Charles L., 66, the retired data analyst from Philadelphia. We knew he was a fan favorite, but this is rock-star adulation from the studio audience, which includes a seemingly spontaneous stan moment from one lovestruck audience member who did not appear to be a plant.
"You're so sweet; so thoughtful," the woman tells Charles. "On behalf of Bachelor Nation, we think you should be the next Golden Bachelor."
She's not speaking out of turn. The supportive burst of applause is powerful enough to be felt by ABC executives. Then, the woman interrupts the cheer right on the beat, adding, "But if not, my mom is single."
Charles' priceless fall-over laugh is reflective of his infectious appeal. Besides showing deep sensitivity to everyone, he's quirky and hilarious – as when he tells Jesse that he didn't know who he was when arriving at the Bachelor Mansion.
"Jesse if you don't mind, I even didn't know your name," Charles admits earnestly. Even Jesse has to laugh.
There's an unpredictability and sweet naĩvete about Charles that's refreshing. It's funny watching Jesse try to ask how Charles' hair went from salt-with-dash-of-pepper to pure jet-black for the reunion. Apparently, asking directly whether Charles dyes his hair is breaking some Just For Men silence rule that applies to reality shows. But Palmer is going for the goods, so he circles the topic. He eventually lands with a hand wave vaguely in the direction of Charles' head and the safe question: "What have we got going on here?"
Charles admirably attributes his back-to-black hair to "the food I ate when I was away."
His beautiful daughter Sophia has clearly captured the show's producers' imagination, too, as the encouraging offspring receives more camera time than "Golden" candidates like just-released Jordan, 61, the sales manager from Chicago.
Sophia even has a moment to talk about her dad's "newfound confidence" after the show. Her dad was a dance machine at a family wedding after the one-time never-dancer got his motor running during the senior prom in this season's second episode.
"We went to a wedding in London recently, and the second the dance floor opened up, he went right in the middle." Sophia recounts as the boogeying Charles is shown working it on video. A season of anything with Charles would be fantastic. The fans are demanding it.
Pascal gets away with running away from Joan on 'Men Tell All'
Just a week ago in TV time, Pascal dashed Joan's heart by bailing out of the show after getting spooked during Fantasy Suites. And after Mark's departure in Episode 5, this is becoming a thing now. Remaining guys – and that's just two of you left – stop self-eliminating! Joan's going to get a complex, and it really just upsets the natural order of things.
But Pascal's contrite, telling Jesse, "I hope I didn't hurt her; that was not my intention." Joan doesn't even push for a misdemeanor offense against Pascal when emerging for prime Jesse time.
"I want nothing but the best for Pascal," Joan tells USA TODAY after the taping. "It was hurtful and I was surprised; I admit that. But he wasn't at the place he needed to be. And the bottom line was, he did the right thing."
Pascal tells us: "I feel very confident that I was 'the chosen one,' and I wasn't at the place she needed me to be. I realized that there is no need for me to continue."
As for the barefaced reunion look, that wasn't a disguise by the bearded heartbreaker. "I shaved because I'm the oldest of all those guys," he says. "I figured I might look the youngest."
Stripping 'Golden Bachelorette' secrets revealed, including lost gold pants
"Men Tell All" lays bare the season's bawdy fourth episode, when "Golden" seniors took it all off for Joan in the strip competition.
Jonathan, 61, the shipping consultant from Oakland, Iowa, who showed off the full package of stripping skills, 'fesses up to at least having experience in the strip world. He wasn't a total rookie, even if he didn't dance "professionally," he says.
Jonathan explains to USA TODAY afterward that when he was in his mid-20s, he tried out for a show in Kansas City. "I thought I did a good job," he says. "But I didn't get the job."
As for the small but memorable golden pants he donned to dance for Joan? "I actually gave those to Joan as a gift," Jonathan says. "If she wanted to auction them off for Stand Up To Cancer, she can do that." (Credit card only, no cash payments accepted.)
Who is still left on 'Golden Bachelorette'?
Noticeably not present for "Men Tell All" were the two remaining men: Guy, 66, an emergency room doctor from Reno, Nevada, and Chock, 60, an insurance executive from Wichita, Kansas.
The drama is surely not over: "In every 'Bachelor' ending, there's a twist," Joan tells USA TODAY. "There are a lot of tears and emotion. But in the long run, there are happy tears too."
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: 'Golden Bachelorette: Men Tell All' recap: Charles rocks, Pascal talks