Bride's Father 'Pridefully' Insists on Paying for Wedding Even Though He Can't Afford It, Takes Shortcuts to Save Money

A groom’s father wants to chip in on his son and future daughter-in-law’s wedding, but the bride’s father is refusing.

The parent posed the issue to the Miss Manners column in The Washington Post, saying that the bride’s father “announced” that he would cover wedding costs “as is tradition” in order to “help the couple” who are starting out with their careers.

The parents agreed that the father of the bride would “foot the entire bill for the wedding” —despite it being an “outdated tradition,” per the groom’s father — and he would “host the rehearsal dinner.”

However, the inquirer noted that he doesn’t think the bride’s family “can afford a wedding” — due to previous experiences with the family and based on decisions they have made with the wedding so far.

Related: Groom in His 60s Marrying Woman in Her 40s — and They Expect Bride’s Retired Art Teacher Mom to Pay for Wedding

“As plans have progressed, it is clear they are taking shortcuts to save expenses — things like asking family members (who are not caterers) to cater the wedding, and recruiting a friend (who is not a photographer) to handle the photos,” he wrote.

“I don't think they are being cheap; they are just on a budget,” he added.

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He said that his son and future daughter-in-law were “a little disappointed at some of these choices,” but didn’t “want to say anything since her father is paying.”

The groom’s father noted that he was “blessed to have done very well professionally” and “could pay for a nice wedding without it being a burden,” thus he wanted to offer to pick up some of the wedding bills.

Related: Couple Refuses to Have Wedding Even Though Groom's Mom Offered to Pay for It: 'Better for Us to Elope'

“I don’t want to insult him, though,” the inquirer noted. “It seems clear to me he is pridefully trying to host his daughter’s wedding without financial help. Is there a way I can again offer to contribute without insulting him?”

Miss Manners suggested that the groom’s father accept that the father of the bride pay for the wedding and only approach him to offer help with “specific items.” She also noted that he could ask if he could “take care of” something rather than “pay for” it.

She also suggested that he show how much he appreciated being able to help lift the burden of some duties from the father of the bride, saying that should help keep “everyone’s pride is intact.”

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