Bride’s Friend Debates Dropping Out of Wedding After Being Assigned ‘Pity Role': 'Feels Like a Slap in the Face'

• A bride's close friend is expressing her disappointment after she learned that she wasn't selected to be a bridesmaid

• "Instead of asking me to be a bridesmaid, she asked me to be her 'something blue,' " she said. "As in something old, something new, something borrowed … and me?"

• The woman noted that she "agreed because it’s her day, and I didn’t want to cause any strife, but the more I think about it the more uncomfortable I am," she wrote. "I’ll have to spend extra money for a blue dress, and I think I’ll just feel awkward and uncomfortable the whole time"
  

A bride's close friend is considering dropping out of her wedding party.

The friend, 28, expressed her disappointment in her wedding role via a post on Reddit's "Am I the A------" forum. She expected the bride, 28, to ask her to be one of her bridesmaids. Instead, she requested her to fill a different role: "something blue."

Since meeting on their first day of college, the two women have been "close friends for years," the user wrote. Despite now living in different states, she highlighted that they see each other at least "a few times a year." Throughout their friendship, the ladies "always talked about being in each other’s weddings," so the Redditor assumed she'd eventually be her friend's bridesmaid.

After the bride got engaged to their mutual college friend, she immediately called her friend to share the news.

"We’ve been talking wedding details since," the Redditor wrote. "She then asks for my address, and says she has something to send me. Maybe presumptuous of me, but I assume it’s a bridesmaid box."

Related: Bride's Best Friend Is Furious at Her for Taking Over Maid of Honor Planning Duties: ‘Not Fair'

The Redditor did receive a box, but she said there wasn't a bridesmaid proposal gift inside.

"Instead of asking me to be a bridesmaid, she asked me to be her 'something blue,' " she said. "As in something old, something new, something borrowed … and me?"

The friend said that she would have understood if the bride didn't want her to be a bridesmaid, considering she has a large family and has made more friends in her new city. But being asked to be her "something blue" felt offensive.

"Honestly, it wouldn’t have been a big deal if she didn’t ask me to be a bridesmaid … I get that, and honestly I would be happy to save the money. This kinda feels like a slap in the face," she said. "I’ve always heard of 'something blue' being jewelry, or shoes — never a person; it feels like she just made up a pity role."

The bride's friend initially accepted the position, but now wants to backtrack.

"I agreed because it’s her day, and I didn’t want to cause any strife, but the more I think about it the more uncomfortable I am," she wrote. "I’ll have to spend extra money for a blue dress, and I think I’ll just feel awkward and uncomfortable the whole time."

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She concluded her post by asking Redditors: "WIBTA (will I be the a------) if I told her I would rather just attend as a guest?"

In the comments section, Reddit users speculated that there might have been a miscommunication about the significance of the role.

"She might be sitting at her home thinking this was such a nice idea while you're sitting at your home thinking this is rude," one person commented in part. "You feel like it's a slap in the face but she might have really sweet intentions behind it. Either way, you need to have a proper conversation with your friend about this."

The forum had mixed opinions on whether or not the poster would be in the wrong for stepping down from her position. Some people said it was "weird" for her to assume that the "something blue" role had a negative connotation. Others argued that the poster is entitled to her feelings and shouldn't keep a role that makes her uncomfortable.

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