Yahoo Lifestyle 75 Juicy Fruit Puns & Jokes
Fruit is a great dessert ingredient and a tasty snack, but did you know it’s also good for a laugh? In fact, It’s berry, berry hilarious. We’ve gathered up a bushel of juicy fruit puns and jokes that are sure to tickle your funny bone. From cherry-ful one-liners to pear-fectly ripe jokes, this list is sure to have you grinning from ear to ear. (Wait, forget that last joke—corn is a vegetable!)
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Fruit Puns
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1. Grape minds think alike.
2. Wanna hear my best pickup lime?
3. I cherry-ish you.
4. All in due lime.
5. If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple.
6. I ap-peach-iate you!
7. Be like a pineapple - always wear your crown.
8. We make a great pear.
9. My family is divided on the question of imported fruits. My mama says no. Papa-ya.
10. Here, pear, and everywhere.
11. This is my grape escape!
12. Squeeze the day!
13. I'm bananas for you, let's never split.
14. You're the apple of my eye.
15. Hey drop me a lime!
16. You can call me any lime.
17. I had grape expectations for this.
18. We were made for peach other.
19. Eat, drink, and be cherry.
20. Each day is mango-nificent!
21. Honeydew you know how happy you make me?
22. I find you so a-peel-ing.
23. Thank you cherry much!
24. You're one in a melon.
25. This pie looks so apple-tizing!
26. Orange you glad it's a beautiful day?
27. A good man-go is hard to find these days.
28. You're being very un-raisin-able right now.
29. I think we did a grape job on this, don't you?
30. That's it! I've got to draw the lime somewhere.
31. Cherry up, buttercup!
32. You want a peach of me?
33. No fig deal, you got this!
34. You hold the kiwi to my heart.
35. You are so berry sweet.
36. Lime all yours.
37. I've been pine-ing for you.
38. If he doesn't appreciate you, let that man-go.
39. It takes two to mango!
40. Did you hear the one about the fruit salad? A-pear-antly not.
41. I'm grape-ful for you.
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Fruit Jokes
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42. Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe!
43. What do you call a snake made out of fruit? Banana-conda!
44. What kind of fruit will fix your sink? A plum-ber.
45. What did the daddy tomato say when his child was falling behind on their walk? "Ketchup!"
46. What do you call bad fruits and vegetables? Gross-eries.
47. Why are bananas such popular fruits? Because they have a peel.
48. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad!
49. What did the stone fruit say when he got in a fight? You want a peach of me?!
50. Why are grapes always so happy? They've got nothing to wine about!
51. Why was the peach late to work? He had to make a pit stop on the way!
52. Why do oranges wear sunscreen? Because their skin peels.
53. Where do baby citrus fruits go to learn? A lemon tree school.
54. Why are oranges the fastest fruit? They never run out of juice!
55. What's a vampire's favorite fruit? Blood orange!
56. What did the grape say to the peanut butter? "Tis the season to be jelly!"
57. What's a scarecrow's favorite fruit? Straw-berries!
58. What did the papa pear tree say to his child pear tree who was too afraid to grow his first fruits? "Son? Grow a pear."
59. Why was the baby strawberry sad? Because its parents were in a jam.
60. Why did the worm leave the apple? Because Noah said to travel in pears!
61. What do you call two banana peels? A pair of slippers.
62. Where do baby apes go to sleep? In an apricot!
63. How do you fix a broken berry? With a strawberry patch!
64. Why did the apple pie go to the dentist? Because it needed a filling!
65. What did the fruit say when he was surprised for his birthday? "Wow... I'm s-peach-less!"
66. What do you get when you put an iPhone in a blender? Apple juice!
67. Why didn't the orange go blind? He didn't have enough vitamin-see!
68. Two fruit flies are out on a date. One says: "This date is amazing." The other replies: "Yeah, but it's already half-eaten."
69. What do you call a cat who eats lemons? A sourpuss!
70. Why did the lemon go to the doctor? It was feeling sour!
71. What disease did the grapefruit have? Citrus-itis!
72. What kind of fruit do you give a guy when you want him to leave your home? Mango.
73. What happens when you step on an orange? You hurt its peelings.
74. What do fruit pirates search for? Berried treasure!
75. Why was the orange struggling in school? Because it juice couldn't concentrate.
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