7 Signs Someone Might Think You're 'Hard To Read,' According to a Neuropsychologist

Words matter—but they aren't the only thing we read. We also read people in an attempt to understand them. If you've always got your guard up, it might hinder relationships.

"If people can't read us, it may lead to misunderstandings, as our intentions, emotions or needs might not be clear," says Dr. Sanam Hafeez, Psy.D., a neuropsychologist and the director of Comprehend the Mind. "This awareness can also help build trust, as clear, transparent communication fosters stronger relationships."

That said, being difficult to read has its place.

"On the other hand, if we're too transparent, others might feel overwhelmed or invade our personal space, so finding a balance is key," she explains.

Dr. Hafeez shares seven signs you're hard to read. She also shared the best and worst times to act "mysterious."

Related: 9 Subtle Ways Your Body Language Might Make You 'Instantly Unlikable,' Psychologists Say

7 Signs You're 'Hard To Read,' According to a Neuropsychologist

1. Hidden emotions

Words matter, but how do you really feel? Are you happy? Annoyed? Angry? Inquiring minds may want to know so that they can act accordingly.

"If you're good at masking your feelings and rarely show when you're upset, happy or anxious, others might struggle to understand your emotional state," Dr. Hafeez says.

2. You use neutral body language

Your body provides between-the-lines clues—if you let it.

"Maintaining a neutral or closed-off posture, such as crossing your arms or avoiding eye contact, can make it harder for others to gauge your thoughts or intentions," Dr. Hafeez says.

3. You don't express opinions openly

Your body language and tons can drop hints, but coming out and letting people know how you feel about something spells it out and leaves less to the imagination. 

"If you're reluctant to share your thoughts or feelings, especially in group settings, people may find it difficult to figure out what you truly believe or want," Dr. Hafeez explains.

4. You give mixed signals

Mixed messaging can frustrate people trying to hone in on what you genuinely want or need.

"Others may have trouble interpreting your true feelings or intentions if your words don't match your body language or facial expressions," Dr. Hafeez says.

Classic example: Saying "I'm fine" when you look and sound upset.

5. Consistently avoiding small talk

Small talk before meetings and by the office coffee machine may seem like a waste of time in grind culture, but it's a way for people to get to know you.

"If you steer clear of casual conversations or give short, vague responses, people may find it harder to get a sense of your personality or current mood," Dr. Hafeez shares.

6. You are consistently reserved

Reservations are great when you want to dine at a hot new restaurant. However, acting reserved all the time can be a pain point for people who want to get a sense of your personality.

"If you're generally private or keep to yourself, others may not have enough interaction with you to fully understand your behavior or motivations," Dr. Hafeez warns.

7. You constantly change your mind

People want some semblance of predictability, especially if they're trying to help or connect with you.

"If your decisions or preferences seem to change frequently without explanation, it can make it difficult for others to predict your reactions," Dr. Hafeez says.

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The Worst Time To Be 'Difficult To Read'

It's best to show your hand in personal relationships you value.

"In close relationships, whether with family, friends or a partner, being difficult to read can create distance and confusion," Dr. Hafeez says. "People close to you rely on emotional cues and clear communication to understand your feelings and needs...Being open about your emotions helps deepen intimacy and trust."

She adds that constantly hiding emotions or being vague can contribute to misunderstandings, hurt feelings and disconnection. However, openness can deepen intimacy and trust.

Related: An Etiquette Expert Is Begging People To Stop This 'Rude' Habit in Public

The Best Time To Be 'Hard To Read'

Sometimes, a little mystery is good, especially in negotiations or business deals.

"Being hard to read can help you maintain an advantage by preventing others from gauging your true thoughts or intentions," Dr. Hafeez shares. "This can allow you to control the flow of a conversation and avoid revealing weaknesses or overcommitting."

For example, if you're hyped about a certain deal, Dr. Hafeez says acting too enthusiastic might lead people to think you'll take a lower deal.

"If you appear indifferent, they may be less likely to push for concessions, unsure of how much you're actually willing to negotiate," she explains. "By maintaining a controlled, unreadable stance, you can create space for more favorable outcomes."

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Source:

• Dr. Sanam Hafeez, Psy.D., a neuropsychologist and the director of Comprehend the Mind