Yahoo Lifestyle People Are Revealing The Most Ridiculous (And Totally Untrue) Rumors They've Ever Heard About Themselves, And It's Bananas
Reddit user Proud_Cut_3221 recently asked the r/AskReddit community: "What's the craziest rumor you heard about yourself?" People filled the thread with all kinds of bizarre and untrue gossip spread about them — from bonkers rumors to hurtful accusations. Here's what they revealed:
1."Had a rumor spread that I was writing an exposé book about our small town because I was always typing at the local cafe on my laptop. I was just doing my grad school assignments, but people started acting weird around me like I was gathering dirt on them."
2."That I have a personal chef who cooks all my meals."
3."In my early 20s, I had a huge project at work, and I was fishing for a raise, so I dedicated myself to finishing about a year's worth of work in six months so a product could ship on time. Obviously, this meant I was at the office WAY too much, and my wife started getting understandably upset about it. For about two weeks during this time, another coworker was rushing to finish a different project and was also at the office after hours. So, of course, unbeknownst to me, someone started the rumor that the two of us were having an affair (even though this coworker and I didn't get along whatsoever). Then, someone from work decided to 'alert' my wife about the alleged affair."
"She was devastated, of course, and, long story short, she ended up having an affair with my best friend as a sort of revenge. This led to divorce, loss of a lifelong friend, job loss, years of doubt and depression, and a complete rethinking of who and what I wanted to be in this life. It was then that I found out that the whole thing happened because someone concluded that if two people at the same company were working late, they must be hooking up. I've worked from home for 20 years now. No more of that BS."
4."There was a rumor that I was the one who had drained the community swimming pool as a prank. The problem was, I was 50 miles away at college, unable to accept credit or blame."
5."That I died. I crashed my motorcycle, and no one could contact me for a bit. I got out of the hospital, and I had a bunch of memorial messages posted on my Facebook."
6."The wildest rumor I ever heard about myself was that I secretly had a twin, and we would swap places to confuse people."
7."I'm in an open relationship and have been happily married for years. Once, I had sex with one of my coworkers. She only told one other coworker, but most people knew the story within a few days. A week after that happened, one of my other coworkers approached me and wanted to know how my divorce was going. I told her I wasn't divorcing my wife and asked why she thought that. It turns out that one of my coworkers told everybody at work that the coworker I had sex with had been ordered to seduce me by my wife so that our divorce hearings would go in her favor. My wife has never seen this coworker, nor did she even know about her existence. She clearly only had sex with me because she wanted to, not because my wife told her to do so."
8."People at my gym somehow got convinced that I was training for the Olympics — all because I would practice handstands against the wall during my rest periods. I'm just a former gymnast who misses being flexible. I'm definitely not Olympic material!"
9."Back in the '70s, I started working at 16 by flipping cars as a side hustle. At 18, I became a steelworker in a union shop on the 4:00 p.m. to midnight shift and was getting paid well enough to buy a brand new Saab Sonett, a limited edition two-seater resembling a Datsun 240Z. But all the police saw was some long-haired hippie kid who hung around with all the other hippie types, always had a different car, always had money to spend at the local restaurants, was hanging around during the day, had no visible means of support, and was now driving around in a car so exotic that nobody on the force had ever even seen one before."
"So the state police decided I had to be a major drug dealer, and started leaning on my friends (sorry, my 'known associates') to try and get one of them to give me up. This was quite hilarious to my friends and me."
10."I do photography on the side, and a rumor spread at work that I was quitting to be a full-time photographer. My colleagues thought I had made it big, but I actually never planned on leaving my work at all. Even my boss heard the rumors."
11."That I had been dispatched as a covert agent to spy on my own group of friends. I am just very skilled at keeping things under wraps."
12."Once, there was a rumor that I was secretly a professional mermaid performer, complete with a tail and everything. Apparently, someone saw me swimming in a pool while wearing a flowy dress, and their imagination took flight. I wish it were true; that would've added some magical flair to my resume!"
13."The whole neighborhood thinks I am ex-military and work as an undercover cop. No idea how this started; I work in IT. It's useful, though."
14."In high school, someone started a rumor that I was pregnant because I threw up once during gym class. The entire school was talking about it by lunch, and even one of the teachers gave me a 'concerned' talk. I was just sick from some bad cafeteria chicken nuggets."
15."Heard I was dating a celebrity. Wish it were true, but nope!"
16."That I used to live in Paris and speak perfect French."
17."I've donated stem cells. I'm not sure who it was that misunderstood what that means, but somehow my relatives think I've donated a fetus to science."
18."Someone thought I was secretly a writer for a popular TV show."
19."That I was having an affair with someone at work. I worked in a dining hall at my college. There were two managers: 'John' and 'Ken.' John managed the day-to-day. Ken was one of the upper managers who handled operations, food ordering, menu planning, systems, etc. His office just happened to be housed in our dining hall. They were rolling out a new payroll and scheduling system, and our dining hall was one of the initial locations where it was rolling out. I was the student payroll manager, so I had to be TRAINED on the new system. Ken was still learning about it himself, so the two of us spent a good amount of time working on this new system and figuring it out. It was noisy because I was there during meal hours, so we'd both go to Ken's office and close the door to have some peace to work."
"My coworkers saw this and somehow decided we were having an affair. Ummm, okay. First off, I was 19, and Ken was pushing 50. Second, would we really have our 'affair' at the dining hall during business hours? Also, Ken's wife was a DEAN of one of the graduate schools at this college. Why on God's green earth would he do something as ridiculous as having an affair with a student at the place where he and his wife worked?
The whole thing was just laughable. I heard about it first and laughed it off. Eventually, though, word got to Ken, and, unfortunately, because of how things are, he had to get out in front of it. We had to leave the door open when we were working and basically screamed at each other because it was so noisy. There was really nowhere else we could work together. Thankfully, though, we were already mostly through with familiarizing ourselves with the system and getting it online for our location, so we didn't need to meet more than a couple more times with the office door open. The whole thing was just ridiculous, but it's hard to stop when the rumor mill starts."
20."That I'd gone on a three-day trip to Ireland. I was in Iowa. A girl at school misheard me when she asked where I was going and told everyone I was in Ireland."
21."That my boyfriend and I had intercourse in front of a Wells Fargo bank."
22."My ex told his family I burned a girl's Ugg boots in a fire because I'm an animal activist."
23."That I had slept with the English teacher because I was close with him. People were really surprised to find out he was my uncle."
24."Four years after college, I found out that there was a rumor about me stalking a certain guy. The guy in question and I had briefly met because he was in my friend's class. I said hi when introduced to him and left with my friend, and I never thought about it again. He had told everyone he could that I stalked him all those college years. He claimed I followed him around and harassed him in messages. I didn't even know who he was when people told me. I have no idea why he decided to pick me to lie about, and even worse, I have no idea why my friends never bothered to tell me about the rumor so I could defend myself and prove it wasn't true."
25."I was hanging out with a friend when someone approached him, shocked he was alive. Apparently, his ex was going around telling people he was shot and died in her arms. The weirdest rumor I've heard about myself, though, was that I allegedly broke up my (former) friend's relationship by having a threesome with them. I'd never even met her partner. They'd gotten together long after our friendship already ended. The weirdest thing was my former friend had started the rumor."
26.And: "That I (M23) slept with my best friend’s (M24) girlfriend. I came out to him shortly after that. He dumped her a few weeks later after discovering she had started the rumor. He was my best man at my wedding 12 years later and told the story as part of his toast. It brought the house down."
What's the wildest rumor you've ever heard about yourself? Tell us in the comments or share your story anonymously using this form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
