Yahoo Lifestyle 46 People Just Shared The Unwritten Social Rules They Think Everyone Could Use A Refresher On, So Have At It
Reddit user u/DarkSoldierz asked, "What are some unwritten social rules everybody should know?" The thread filled with many useful rules and great refreshers on ways to be upstanding and aware members of society, which also inspired BuzzFeed Community members to share other common courtesies. Here's what folks said:
1."If you are entering someone's home and you see shoes near the front door, take your shoes off at the front door. I don't care what you do in your own home, but you do not wear shoes in someone else's home if they don't wear shoes in their home. And, if you're going to complain about having to remove shoes in someone else's house, you don't get to complain about getting kicked out when you refuse to comply."
2."Respect peoples' pronouns, preferences, dietary wants and needs, decision to say no to something, etc."
3."PLEASE keep your dogs leashed in public, not only for their safety but for the safety of others and THEIR dogs. I don't care how sweet they are; they are animals and can always do something unpredictable to hurt themselves or others. I work with dogs, and I 100% believe this should be a law everywhere."
4."Don't make unsolicited comments about how healthy someone else's food is if you're not their doctor or dietitian."
5."Never comment that someone looks 'tired.' We all have off days, and it's so damn obnoxious when someone asks if you're tired or if you're okay. Like, ''No Linda, this is just my face.'"
6."When you're in a group, and someone starts saying something but is cut off, always ask them to repeat themselves because you are interested in what they were saying. It's good manners, and it can completely build someone's self-confidence."
7."Never ask someone if they're pregnant! If they haven't told you, it's for a reason."
8."Don't criticize someone's smile or laugh. It will make them feel self-conscious every time they're happy."
"Don't criticize someone for anything they have no control over, really."
9."DON'T touch other people's babies (at least not without their permission), regardless of how cute the baby is! Also, never kiss a baby if you aren't one of the parents."
10."When someone shows you a picture on their phone, no swiping allowed."
11."If someone says they have an appointment, don't ask what for. It might be a job interview if you're in a work environment. Or, it might be a proctologist appointment. Either way, if people are vague, it's usually for a reason!"
12."The people exiting the elevator go first. The people exiting the train go first. The people exiting the bus go first. Airplanes are unloaded in numerical order. Row 1, 2, 3, 4, etc."
13."Don't sit right next to people when other seating is available. Cover your cough. And, for Pete's sake, quit spitting everywhere. What is in your mouth that is so nasty you have to spit it on the sidewalk? I've just never understood this."
14."Don’t make plans in front of those you're unwilling to invite."
15."When someone tells you, 'It's getting late,' 'I'm getting tired,' or, 'I have a lot going on at work tomorrow,' when you're over at their place, it's time for you to go."
"Yes, or yawning or talking about how YOU must have so much to do tomorrow. Or, slapping both legs and saying, 'Well!' Basically, if you're at someone's place, be on high alert for them trying to get rid of you."
16."Spit your damn gum in the trash. It's not that hard."
17."Don't negatively comment on the food another person eats. Whether it's because you don't like it, think it smells, think the food combination is weird, or think the person is picky — just stop. I don’t care if it’s ketchup on well-done steak or if someone isn’t eating any vegetables. Food is super personal to people, and it’s one of the worst feelings to be self-conscious about eating in front of others."
18."Don't stand right up against a baggage carousel blocking others' sight lines and access. Approach the carousel when you see your bag and it's within range to pick up. Once you've retrieved the bag, move both the bag and yourself out of the way so that others can do the same."
19."Please RSVP when invited to an event, especially when the host is paying for food and drinks."
20."Please acknowledge new people in your life properly. Your brother brings a girl home? Your bestie brings a friend to the bar? Introduce yourself, give them a handshake, and acknowledge the new human in front of you. What happened to manners? This keeps happening, and it makes me feel invisible."
21."If you're visiting someone and plan on staying at their place, confirm the dates you want to stay BEFORE you book your ticket. I told a college friend he could visit and stay with me, and then he booked a 10-day trip. He was furious when I said he could only stay at my house for four days. It ruined the friendship because I couldn't believe how inconsiderate he was being, and he probably thought I was being an a-hole for 'going back' on my word."
22."Do not stand still right at the entrance or exit of a door. Let people pass."
"Don't stand at a crosswalk or intersection if you have no intention of crossing. I live in a busy college town, and there are always young people around. Half of the time they walk, they stop to chat or take a phone call. You can't tell if they are waiting to cross. The other half of the time, they cross in the middle of the road, with no crosswalk. Make up your mind!"
23."Ask before you pet someone's dog in public."
24."Put your grocery cart back in the appropriate location. Do not leave carts in parking stalls or the middle of the parking lot. It takes one minute to put it back properly."
25."Don't make people feel self-conscious in group settings. And yes, that includes asking someone why they're so quiet."
26."Don't propose at someone else's wedding. You're pretty much mooching off of a romantic, EXPENSIVE, dream setting for your benefit. If you work it out with the bride and groom, maybe, but it's their day. Let it be about them."
"Making major life announcements should have self-awareness attached for ANY gathering that is in honor of someone else. I don't think it should be a hard and fast rule that a person never announces a life event at another event, but be sensitive about the attention you're trying to get. Are you stealing it from someone? In general, don't step on brides; just don't. For other events, be judicious. I just had a birthday and was overjoyed when my best friend announced that she was pregnant, but it was just us and our husbands at dinner, so it was a wonderful moment. I was pissed when another friend used my bachelorette party to announce her pregnancy because she waited until we were all present at the bar and people were toasting me. She clearly wanted to hijack my focus and didn't even warn me that she was going to do it. My mad of honor was the only other person it bothered, and I was grateful because it bugged the hell out of me! I'd never do that to someone. Leave bridal events about the bride."
27."If you need to use your phone, step to the side out of the way. Don't just slam on the brakes in the middle of the sidewalk."
28."Don't make light-hearted jokes about people's names. They've heard it all before."
29."Don't litter. Keep a grocery bag/trash bag in your vehicle for garbage. Don't empty your litter into parking lots or ditches. Throw out your trash when you come upon a dumpster or trash can."
30."You should offer to pay someone for gas if they drive you a lot of places."
31."If you're walking in a group on a sidewalk and a person is walking toward you, move to the side. Don't make them step onto the street so that you can continue walking side-by-side. I see this way too often, especially on college campuses."
32."Do not ask friends, colleagues, or strangers when they're 'finally' going to get married or 'finally' have kids."
33."When you're in public, go discreetly blow your nose. Do not loudly suck back your snot. It's effing gross."
34."Please don't laugh at someone if they don't know something or say a word incorrectly or snarkily correct them. You're an asshole when you do that!"
35."When you go to the movie theater, unless there are no other seats available, try to keep at least one seat between you and any other patrons. That includes sitting beside, behind, and ESPECIALLY in front of someone else."
36."Do not ask people about money — how much they make, how much something costs, how much money they have, etc. It surprises me how people commonly do that, especially in front of others. If I'm genuinely wondering about the price of someone else's purchase, it's because I might be in the market, and I will preface my question with that, ask it in private, and inform them not to feel obligated to tell me."
37."Praise others in public and correct them in private, especially if you are in a management role. Don't dress others down in front of everyone as some kind of power move or whatever."
38."Get off your phone when being waited on!"
39."Don't abandon your friend at a party where they hardly know anyone. Don't abandon your friend(s) when out in public and they're intoxicated."
40."Unless you're actually with me or related to me, stay at least two or three feet away from me when we're in line together, whether it's at a grocery store, waiting to board a plane, or anything else. I do not need to feel your breath on the back of my neck or be that close to you, especially when there are diseases out there (COVID-19, flu, RSV, etc.)."
41."Don't play music out loud on your phone in public."
42."If the cashier holds their hand out for your money, don't put it on the counter."
43."Don't diss someone’s taste if you have never seen or tried what they like."
44."If you run into someone you know and want to catch up and gossip at the grocery store, that's cool, but try not to do it in the middle where you are blocking the entire aisle with your carts. Move out of the way. Don't make people ask you to move. Also, don't look at people like they are eavesdropping on your conversation when they are just trying to get their groceries."
45."Please don’t weave in and out of lanes on the freeway just to be faster than everyone else. You’re absolutely putting lives in danger."
46.And: "Be situationally aware while in public spaces. 'Where am I standing? What's around me? Am I in someone's way, or about to be? Looking at the person I am talking to, do they look invested, bored, busy, or annoyed? Looking at the people around me, am I having a private conversation in front of the world? Can I call back when I'm not in public, instead of answering? Am I being too loud or disruptive for other people? Am I drunk or high, meaning I am not going to be a good judge of when to put a lid on it?' You will save yourself from breaking many rules by making yourself THINK about where you are and if what you're doing is appropriate to your setting and audience. It's not as hard as you might think, and it will help you in private spaces too!"
What are some other unspoken rules and social graces people need to follow? Lay 'em on me in the comments, or you can share them anonymously using this form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
