Yahoo Lifestyle 23 People Who Busted Their Unfaithful Partners Are Revealing How They Uncovered The Scandal, And Ouchhhhh
We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community who found out their S.O. was living a double life to tell us how they busted them. We also found this Reddit thread started by u/MidnightMass26 asking for similar stories of heartbreak and betrayal. Here's what people shared:
1."I had the first inkling when we were getting ready for bed. I was in bed while he was doing his thing in the bathroom. His phone rang, and it was some chick I'd never heard of. I asked him who she was and why she was calling at this hour. He had a plausible story that I was foolish enough to believe. We were only dating and didn't live together. Then he went missing one day, and I had no idea what had happened. I phoned, emailed, texted, and tried every way to get ahold of him. Turns out he'd been in an accident and was in the hospital. I only found out when his GIRLFRIEND called me to let me know. She'd been to his apartment looking for him and found all my messages on his computer and some jewelry I'd left a couple of nights earlier."
"She and I had an excellent time confronting him at the hospital."
2."He tried to flush a receipt down the toilet the night before. I got up way earlier than him and found the receipt floating in the toilet. It was for a hotel room two hours away from our house. He had just returned from a 'business trip' that took him 'out of town' for four days — the four days that happened to be on the receipt for the hotel two hours away. His boss verified there was no business trip and that he had requested PTO and was out of the office. That was an awkward phone call for both of us. Once everything sunk in, I was livid and in turmoil all at once. I had suspected something was going on but had no proof, and being the way I am, I just assumed it was all in my head and I was overreacting."
"That wrecked me for a good, long time. I still can't stand to hear his name. I get physically ill at the sound of it. After five years of marriage, I didn't know his true personality. I'm still convinced he was a sociopath. Once I discovered what he was doing, he became cold, manipulative, and cruel. That was his true self. He was a hell of an actor for a long time."
3."I had to check my then-boyfriend's email three years ago on Thanksgiving morning for a code to get back into Hulu. I saw a strange email headline regarding a deposit into someone's account and clicked on the email. I discovered he had been sending $400 to a woman who lived halfway across the country each month. I woke him up to find out what was going on and found out that another woman was paying his house note in exchange for racy photos from him. We had been together for almost two years, and I planned to move in with him (he lived two hours away). I started talking to some of his friends afterward, and they all told me that he told them I was paying for the house. There were so many red flags that I ignored due to love bombing, and every time I think about him, and how foolish I was, I want to punch the air."
—Anonymous
4."I was in a relationship that I believed to be my first grown-up, 'mature' one. The first six months were incredible, amazing, and a whirlwind of feelings — typical at the start of most relationships. We often talked about the future and us remaining together. Soon after the six months, it seemed like he had less and less time to spend with me. Being lovestruck, I accepted it and all his excuses for about another year or so. I found out the day AFTER he got married that I wasn't the only woman in his life. He had the audacity to call me two days after his wedding, asking me to come over. He said he 'missed me' and wanted to spend time with me. I formulated a plan quickly and agreed it would be great to spend time together."
"I gathered all of his belongings (not much) in a box at the front door. When he showed up, I opened the door and dropped the box at his feet. After looking at its contents, he asked me what was he supposed to do with his stuff. Calmly, I responded, 'Gee, I don't know. Why don't you go ask your new wife?' and closed the door and locked it. I never saw or heard from him again. I dodged a bullet there!"
—Anonymous
5."This was not a spouse, but someone I had seen on and off for four years. We were not yet serious because I had been attending and finishing graduate school, but the 'I love yous' were shared, we were intimate, and he indicated he wanted us to be exclusive and serious. Then, a mutual friend and I went to lunch one day, and I was talking about the most recent time I had seen this guy. The friend looked at me seriously and said, 'I don't know how to tell you this, but [the guy's name] got remarried this summer to a woman in Brazil.' Then, they proceeded to show me a wedding photo. He had fully married her, bought a house with her, and lived with her."
"I had no idea she even EXISTED, much less that they were dating/married. He was seeing me the entire duration of their relationship and kept it completely compartmentalized. I was heartbroken. The best part is she ended up being a convicted money launderer and is currently under investigation for drug trafficking, and they've already divorced. Guess you should have googled her first, my dude. Karma."
—Anonymous
6."A woman called me at work randomly to let me know she was 'in love' with my partner of 14 years. She said they had been having an affair for four years; he claimed it was only one year. I'm sure the truth lies somewhere in the middle. She had the gall to beg me to try and convince him to stay with her because he was the only man she had ever truly loved, and she was this poor victim. She called me to blow it all up because he had finally ended it with her because, in his words, 'he didn't want to risk losing me because I was the most important thing in his life.' He had anywhere from one to four years to calculate those risks."
"I immediately moved out of our home despite his pleading. I left them to be together because they deserved each other. Alas, they did not last, and I was harassed at all hours of the night and day by this woman from multiple phone numbers for a year, even after she knew I had ended things with my ex and had moved out. This woman was also 20 years older than me — not some young girl in puppy love. It's been four years, and now I'm in a loving, happy, healthy relationship, so life goes on eventually."
7."He had an old iPad, and one day, while mine was broken, I grabbed him to use. I found porn and text messages with women going back years — one, in particular, he said he was in love with. She was young enough to be his daughter. She strung him along for the ego boost but stayed states away."
—Anonymous
8."I found another woman's panties in MY bed that I shared with my husband. He was at work, so I left them on the coffee table in plain view with a note saying they were not mine. I went home to my mom. He paid all of the divorce expenses. That was 21 years ago. I haven't heard from or about him since."
9."My husband caught me by accident. I cheated with a coworker for two months before my husband found out. My husband and I took my daughter to an appointment. I went in with her, and my husband stayed in the truck. I was messaging the guy, and somehow, the messages were coming through my husband's truck. It's been almost a year since. My husband forgave me, and we are trying to work things out, but it's been hard."
—Anonymous
10."I got home from work one evening and noticed that the bed was stripped and the blinds were drawn. I just had a sixth sense that something wasn't right, even though my partner explained that one of the cats had puked on the bed. I got up early the next morning, and their phone was charging on the coffee table. Even though I had never done so before, I decided to take a look. I found all sorts of text messages going back months indicating that they were hooking up with people behind me. The most recent hookup happened the day before while I was at work. I said nothing, but in the following six weeks, I found a new place to live, packed up all of my stuff while they were working in the evening, and moved out. Never looked back. I refused to listen to the crying and begging for a second chance. Nope! Done!"
11."My ex is a twin. His twin was dating one of my roommates during the same time. For months, my roommates kept the secret that my ex had cheated on me while on spring break. When the twin and my roommate broke up, she told my best friend, who invited me over to tell me. Basically, the whole friend group, except for the two of us, knew this, and they decided I didn't need to know. I not only lost my ex but that whole group of friends, too. The saddest part is that my roommate was being cheated on by the other twin the entire time. I hate to say it was karma, but what goes around comes around."
—Anonymous
12."He traveled for business. I found 50 Viagra in his suitcase."
13."I had been at university in California and hadn't seen my boyfriend (let's call him Alex) for three months, so I went back home to see him for the holidays. He was supposed to meet me at the train station one afternoon after he was done with work, but he was stuck working late, so his boss sent his daughter (we'll call her Sara) to meet me. Backstory: This was 20+ years ago. None of us had cell phones, and we had all been friends in high school. Sara and I decided to grab dinner downtown while we waited. We hadn't even ordered our food when she told me that she had suspicions that Alex was cheating on HER. I stayed as calm as possible and started asking questions: who she suspected, when and where he might have cheated, etc. Then she said, 'Since you're Alex's best friend, I thought you might know the truth. Do you know if he's cheating?'"
"I told her that Alex and I had been in a relationship for over a year, so the other woman was me. I was expecting at least a drink thrown in my face at this point, but she and I started comparing facts and decided to confront him when he was finished with work. Sara dropped me off at another friend's house while she went to talk to Alex. Alex denied everything, and they argued on their way to his house.
I arrived a few minutes later, grabbed my suitcase, and headed out the door. Meanwhile, Alex was crying and begging me to stay, telling me Sara was obsessed with him but that nothing was happening between them. No thanks. I was finished being lied to and gaslit. I spent the rest of my holiday at my friend's house and never saw Alex or Sara again."
14."I showed up at her house as a late surprise on Valentine’s Day after being stuck at work all day. Oh boy, was she celebrating."
15."My son was playing a game on my now ex-husband's old iPhone. My son came to me because he accidentally exited the game and gave me the phone to put him back in the game. My ex didn't delete his old phone from his Apple account, and the old phone was still logging his phone use. For whatever reason, I checked the phone log and noticed one number he was constantly calling by using *67 to block his number. I called the number, and a woman answered. Turns out she was a married coworker of his with whom he was having an affair."
16."We were together for 10 years, married for four. I was madly in love until I got a message from an unknown account on Instagram informing me that he had been cheating for several years. Our marriage pretty much ended the next day. Later, I found out that there were several affairs — before and after our marriage."
17."Back when Facebook gaming was popular, my ex played a pirate game, and I was first mate. My job was to write all the documents for our team and post them on the team's Facebook page, which meant logging into his account. He did not realize I could log into his account while he was online. I logged in, and he was talking to a friend of ours about how he had not had sex since they had done it at his workplace the week before, and then they made plans for her to come to his work for lunch a few days later. I already suspected him of cheating, but I thought it was with someone else. I started digging, going through his laptop, and logging into his Facebook account during work hours. Turns out he had cheated with a bunch of people. I found nudes on his computer of several people that I thought of as friends, including my best friend, who I had known since I was 16."
18."She was going on a camping trip, and I mentioned I liked camping and it sounded fun. She said she'd love to invite me, but it was a girl's only trip. A few days later, one of her friends posted a picture of the trip, and the picture showed two couples, plus my girlfriend, with a guy I recognized from her college study group. The picture got taken down right away, and she supposedly didn't have cell service in the woods for me to text her. So once she was back, I went to her dorm to confront her and found the guy in bed with her. She broke up with me that day and was dating him the next morning."
19."She was logged into Facebook on my laptop, and I saw an open conversation with some dude where they were talking about how excited they were to have a long weekend together without anyone knowing. She told me she was going out of town with her parents, told her parents she was going to a friend's, and her friend was covering for her. I didn't actually read any of the other messages because I didn't want or need to know more about their secret relationship. I called her out, and she denied it. We broke up anyway, and she was official with the new guy the next day."
20."My now ex-wife started going out on the weekends and staying out late. She wouldn't tell me where she was going. Once, she left her laptop open and logged into Facebook, and I decided to look at what she had been up to. That was when I found the Facebook Messenger conversation she had been having with one of her ex-boyfriends. She even had the audacity to tell him that I trusted her enough not to check. He was married and had been deleting their conversations to hide them from his wife. I sent his wife a copy of their conversations."
21."I suspected it, but he just denied it. She (my ex-friend) also denied it and called me jealous because they were friends. One day, he left his email signed in on my laptop. I read all their messages, then copied them and sent the messages to them both from one of my email accounts. Petty but effective."
22."A friend of my husband's girlfriend called my house. She thought it was his office. I could tell by the sound of her voice that she was mortified. I told her, 'Oh, I'm his wife, and this happens all the time. Don't feel bad.' Then the next day, I told him, 'Oh, this gal called and said she was a friend of [girlfriend's name]. I told her that she had reached your home by mistake. I said I was your wife, and she could call your office.' He turned beet red but really couldn't say anything."
23.And: "I found out when the guy she was cheating on me with (a well-known local official who happened to be her boss) called me telling me that he was going to have me killed for stalking his girlfriend. Turns out we both dated her for over a year without knowing she was playing both of us. The look on her face when he invited me to the office so he could take me out to lunch was priceless. I had a great steak that day, and we both dumped her."
Have you ever busted a cheating partner? What happened?! Tell us your story in the comments or share anonymously using this form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
