Yahoo Lifestyle Rise above the rest
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Cassie, 25, says the marketing agency she works for is like a high-school clique.
Her mostly female colleagues tend to make decisions in unison – from hair colour and lunch choices to career moves. Of course, having friends at work makes the long hours more tolerable. But when those friendships turn into factions, it’s like year 9 all over again: adult versions of the 15-year-old clan members who accompanied each other to the dunnies and hung out every weekend wearing identical midriff tops.
“When stress hits, we tend to revert to where we felt safer,” says Sylvia Lafair, author of Gutsy, a book that inspires women to be leaders. “Especially for women, there’s such a strong desire to be part of a group. It’s not thought out consciously – it’s just reverting to the pattern where we felt secure, as a pack, back in school.”
Workplace posses eat lunch together, follow each other to the kitchen to make tea and have the same opinions about on-the-job politics (is that a sheep we hear baaa-ing?). They’re at each other’s desks whenever they get a chance (and when they’re not, they’re emailing each other). They run important meeting notes by each other, and engage in deep dissections of office gossip. “With this generation, 10 women will sit around and compare everything,” says Lisa Orrell, author of Millennials into Leadership. “Everyone’s a big open book.”
This all-for-one behaviour makes for some sweet-as bonding, but it can cause problems when it comes to getting ahead. Instead of seeing you as an individual, your manager may view you as just another member of the group – and assume that’s where you should stay. “Bosses may see you as someone who is not a risk taker,” says Lafair. “They could start to question your capacity to become a leader at the next level.” And leaders, adds Orrell, stand out: “They’re the ones who end up with raises and promotions, even if they’re not as qualified.”
So how can you keep your mates while going your own way at work? This is how it’s done.
Grow your network
Anytime you can work directly with the Big Kahuna, you should, but interacting with other senior employees can be just as important. This helps you distinguish yourself and gives you a view of the company beyond your buddies. Plus, it might provide you with champions in meetings or strategy sessions that you’re not a part of.
Start chats (small talk is enough to begin with) with higher-ups in the halls or while waiting for meetings to begin. “It doesn’t have to be difficult,” says Alexia Vernon, author of 90 Days 90 Ways: Onboard Young Professionals to Peak Performance. “The more we allow ourselves to initiate conversations, to be curious about people and the work they’re doing, the more relationships happen organically.”
You don’t need to ditch your friends, either. Vernon suggests taking a wingwoman (just one) to industry events or work parties. “It can feel uncomfortable to show up to an event and not know anyone,” she says. “This way, you have that security, but you’re still in a position to meet new people.”
Get comfortable with competition
Part of setting yourself apart is embracing that you may go head-to-head with your mates at times – and there’s nothing wrong with that. “It’s healthy,” says Lafair. “You’re not throwing them under the bus, but you are competing. It will make both of you step it up. You’re finding your optimum best.”
That’s not to say you should become a solo act at war with all other female contenders. Ideally, we all support one another and make room for more than one Gail Kelly at the top. “But if we’re genuinely trying to move upward, we have to push ourselves out of our comfort zone,” says Vernon.
Stand apart
Workplace mind meld isn’t always conscious. You may find yourself not talking during meetings because your friends have already made the points you would make, but this can leave the boss thinking you have nothing to offer. Force yourself to talk, says Lafair, and don’t wait until the end. “Find a place to speak up in the middle,” she adds. “Even if what you’re saying is underlining a point someone else made or acknowledging something, it’s practice in speaking up. Then take the step of speaking up at the beginning of a meeting.”
Another thing to be conscious of is showing up to work dressed in an eerily similar way to your friends. “Think about everything you communicate, including how you dress,” says Vernon. “You should make sure you’re presenting a complete picture of yourself, rather than just blending in.” In other words, develop your own work look to go along with the image you want to project. Because independence pays, yo.
The science of success: Research-backed get-ahead strategies
Go solo for ideas Yet another reason to go it alone at work – a study by the University of Texas at Arlington, US, found group brainstormers perform at about half the level they would if they worked alone, and, according to the Harvard Graduate School of Education, US, group sessions can result in one person’s bad idea limiting others’ output.
Firm up your appeal Women with strong handshakes are seen as more impressive than male hand-crunchers, according to research by the University of Iowa, US. Grip firmly, making sure the web between your thumb and forefinger meets your shakee’s.
Bling up your workspace Employees with control over the design of the area they work in are happier, healthier and up to 32 per cent more productive, according to studies by the University of Exeter, UK. Choose travel snaps – they’ll make you appear worldly-wise.
Have a latte According to the French National Institute, caffeine helps you recall words and names better, so have one half an hour before a meeting with new people.
