Women Are Sharing Their Stories Of Sleeping With Taken Men, And The Drama That Followed

Portrayals of the "other woman" is a common theme in movies and TV shows, often depicted as glamorous or exciting. However, the real-life experiences of the people involved are completely different.

Engaging in an affair can lead to a messy, confusing, and damaging situation for all parties involved.

So, I asked women of the BuzzFeed Community, to reveal their experiences sleeping with men who were taken, and oh boy, the stories are quite scandalous:

1."It was excellent. I was single, and he was always in a relationship. Made for great sex because there were no strings, no expectations, and he always had someone to keep him occupied until the next time."

2."We had known each other for years but never really spoke, then we randomly found ourselves drawn to each other. I was under the impression that his relationship was over, and I began to fall for him. We started sleeping together, and it was honestly the best sex. A couple of months in, I found out he was still with and very much in love with the girl I thought he had broken up with. I found out on Valentine’s Day, of all days, that he did his little social media shoutout to his girlfriend AFTER he spent the evening having dinner with me. This was ages ago. I dated a lot after him, but I still think of him every now and then. He was my biggest heartbreak, and we were never even officially together."

3."He was my biggest high school crush, but he never wanted to cross that line into a relationship and lose our friendship. We stayed in touch, though. I even attended his wedding years ago! After reconnecting on social media for a few weeks, he explained that he and his wife chose to have an open marriage and asked if I'd be interested in starting a physical relationship. I was single and definitely interested, so we arranged a couple of weekends together. It was intense, unleashing two decades of unfulfilled sexual tension in a (mostly) secret relationship, and it didn't feel weird at all that he was going home to his family afterward. His wife wanted to hear all the gritty details as that was part of her attraction to the arrangement, and that didn't bother me."

4."I was approached by my 'secret other' to consider a 'friends with benefits' arrangement as his home life was shared with his narcissistic wife, who withheld sex for weeks at a time. I was not in a relationship, so I agreed. Some three years later, we still see each other occasionally, but he does have others he visits with as well. His wife knows of his exploits in theory, but does not know who the offending women are."

5."There was a guy I met who was part of a road crew for a famous comedian. He was cute and funny, and we both knew it was only going to be for one night. It was pretty good, nothing mind-blowing, but an enjoyable enough time. When I got back to my apartment, I found out that the guy added me on MySpace (this will give you an idea of how long ago this was, lol) where he had tons of pictures of him and his long-term girlfriend. I had no idea he was in a relationship, and he had not mentioned it to me once. I absolutely ratted him out and sent my apologies to the other girl. She never replied, but I remember checking his profile a few months later out of morbid curiosity, and they had definitely split up."

6.(MAYBE DELETE) "I met my now-husband while he was dating another woman during his junior year and my freshman year of college. He wasn't happy in this relationship. She did not treat him well. They were not compatible. But because my husband is 5'4", still has acne, wears thick glasses, and has a lisp, and he's only ever had three women feel attraction to him, he was worried that if he ever broke up with his early-college girlfriend, he'd never find anyone else again. I met him right before Halloween, and we really hit it off. A few days later, his girlfriend got really mad at him for choosing to attend a club event for his Star Wars club over some sorority thing for her where he would just be standing around waiting. They went on a "break" but didn't clearly communicate what the boundaries were."

(Continued) "He came to me to talk about his frustrations. We went to see a movie on campus to clear his mind, and at the end of the night, we kissed. He realized he connected better with me and dumped his girlfriend; we officially started dating a week later. We actually ended up losing our virginities to each other that same school year, and now we've been happily married for a year. I've helped him build his confidence, and he's helped me learn to stand up for myself more. We share a lot of the same values, passions, and interests, and our sexual chemistry is amazing. His ex was furious that he dumped her in favor of a fatter and poorer woman, but she also treated him like he should be so lucky that she was willing to be seen with him, meanwhile I absolutely love bragging about my husband because he's awesome! I'm glad my husband realized his worth, even if we started dating in a kind of weird way."

—Anonymous, Age: 24

7."We met at work, of course. It was all fun and games until he went to a lawyer to seek a divorce from his wife. What?? No!!! I realized exactly what I had done. I was officially a homewrecker. Well, needless to say, I dumped him ASAP. I was still in love with my ex anyway. He stayed with his wife and went on to have another child. I never got in the middle of another relationship again."

8."My fiancé had left me for his mistress a couple of months before my encounter. Some part of me wanted to know what it felt like to be the other woman. I went on a website and found a married man looking for something on the side. We met at a local hotel; he was attractive enough and didn't seem creepy, so we had some pretty raucous sex. He kept going into the bathroom to do drugs and eventually told me about his wife, kids, and his drug and sex addictions. Definitely not an encounter I would repeat, but at least the sex was good."

9."Our paths crossed several times at a local hangout initially. Then, one evening, these two guys came over and sat down at our table. We visited for a while, and all went our separate ways. Several weeks later, I again ran into him, and my friend and I spent the evening hanging out. He would stop by my apartment, and we would go out and meet friends. I had no clue he was seeing anyone else. We started spending almost every evening together, including most weekends. I was invited to go to a nearby university with a friend to visit some local girls who were attending. While out with multiple friends from the area, someone asked one of the girls who she was dating. She said she was dating the same guy I had been seeing."

10."I was sleeping with my best friend's husband for two years. I have known him for 15 years, and we have always had a connection. For 13 years, we waited until it eventually happened and snowballed into an affair. We felt exceptionally guilty, and it really began to take a toll on our friendship. The wife found out he was having an affair, except the woman she found out about wasn’t me. His wife wants to stay with him, and now the thought of being near him turns my stomach that I thought he was worth risking everything for."

11."I started having an emotional affair before my marriage ended. Ended up having sex a couple of times after my marriage ended. He was with a long-term partner throughout the whole thing. I ended up getting increasingly frustrated with his lines, the usual 'Oh, we don't have sex anymore,' 'She's cheating on me,' etc. In the end, I called him out on it and asked him if things were that rubbish, then why didn't he leave? His response of 'Oh, it's not that simple' gave me why I needed to stop things. Now, four years later, he will have moments where he gets in contact with me to try and reignite things...oh, and he's still with the girl. Walking red flag."

—Anonymous, Age: 33

12."I matched with a guy on Tinder. We talked every day for weeks and really connected. I hooked up with him twice, then one day decided to do a deep creep on Facebook. I found his wedding pictures from the summer before, and his wife gave birth to their first child the day before we hooked up the first time. I confronted him and cut off contact, but months later, he was back on Tinder. I know it was wrong of me, but we matched and started talking again. He’s going to cheat on her whether it’s with me or not. I know he’s not going to leave her for me, and frankly, I don’t have time for a relationship. I’ll just let him have his cake and eat it, too, and I get the benefits without worrying about being in a relationship. Going on two years now, and he claims she doesn’t suspect a thing."

13."We met when we were in the military. He was separated from his wife at the time, and I was single. The affair lasted a year or so; we ended things because he returned to his wife. Fast forward to five years later when we saw each other at an event he worked at. Sparks flew once again, and we started where we left off. We were both married to other people when we began the affair. This lasted for another two years. It was fun and exciting sneaking around. But we ended things for good when my husband found out. But I still think about how we both made each other feel."

14."I told myself I would never end up in that situation, and I wouldn’t do that to another woman. I judged those who did it harshly. We were work colleagues and, over a few years, became friends. That friendship became closer and more intimate…we danced around things and flirted with that line for well over a year and never crossed it. Until we did. It’s a conflicting place to go against your morals when it feels like the most right thing in the world. I know people will come for me, I come for myself everyday. I’m not proud of the situation. And we handled him being taken as delicately as we could. I know we hurt people, and I know some will never forgive us for it, but it led me to the love of my life."

15."I feel horrible even thinking about what happened many years ago. It all started very Innocent and as a dare. I was working an extra shift, and my coworker asked me if I’d seen the new maintenance man yet. I was unaware at the time they had hired a new maintenance worker. My coworker described him as a gorgeous hunk of a man and went on and on about his hairy chest. I was curious about this man and had to seek him out for myself. We walked up to the office, and there he sat, talking with a girl In the office. I told my coworker he was cute, but I wasn’t impressed with his chest because my husband had just as much, if not more. Yes, I was married, and so was he. My coworker dared me to go in the office and rub my hands over his chest."

16."He was a friend of a friend. I met him when I was 19 and he was 25. We hung around the same group of friends, but he never outwardly showed interest in me until we started going out to raves and nightclubs in LA. We eventually followed each other on social media. Our talks started on Snapchat and then moved to text messaging (nothing raunchy, with very light flirting and tons of inside jokes). He would send me songs he liked and would invite me out to music events with his other group of friends outside of our main group. When I was around 20-21, he'd invite me to his place (he lived with his mom at the time), and I would sneak in through his window late at night, and we'd get intimate. I felt like a teenager doing this but somehow found it funny and sweet. The first time we had sex, he lit a candle I had bought him for his birthday that year, and it was like a scene straight out of a movie!"

17."He wasn't open about having a girlfriend, so I thought us hooking up was fair game. He always seemed shady, and I thought he just liked sneaking secret kisses in the empty room at a party and leaving separately so as not to draw attention (he dated another person in our friend group the year prior, and they broke up, so I thought he didn't want to stir up drama or make anyone uncomfortable). A few months in, I found out he was dating someone; he got her pregnant, then he got his ex-girlfriend pregnant, all within a few months. I felt like I dodged a bullet when I finally figured out what was happening and ended it."

—Anonymous, 36

18."When we started the relationship, I did not know he was married, and once I found out it was too late, we were very much involved, and the sex was too good to give up. We would go on trips together. We just hung out with each other; it was not always about sex; we enjoyed each other's company. Our relationship lasted for several years before we ended it."

19."I met my man 15 years ago at a medical business conference. He was 60 years old. We hit it off so well, and we talked via email and over the phone. I knew he was married, and he said he was just roommates with his wife, and his marriage stayed together for their son's sake. Well, after his son finished high school and left for the military, he asked his wife for a divorce, and after the divorce was final, we tried to make it work. But sadly, he had a fetish I didn’t know about, and he left for the Philippines after retiring and meeting a 22-year-old online. Karma is a witch, so all my best to him."

20."We worked for the same company and were mutually attracted to each other at first sight. He was married to the same woman for over 30 years. He traveled to the state where our company was located during the week and the state where his wife lived in their $2 million home on the weekends. We became 'friends' and got to know each other for just over a year before we slept together. When we finally did, it was pretty amazing. But it was a one-time thing. I stopped seeing him afterward because I knew I loved him. He still reaches out to me from time to time, but I haven’t seen him since we stopped working together."

21."We met on a dating site. He was semi-secretive before we actually met; I just attributed it to him being shy or whatever. He was always free early mornings, never at night, and after about two weeks or so, it just clicked. 'You’re married, huh?' He responded pretty defensively. 'My marital situation has nothing to do with you.' I just laughed and let him know it really was my business. I didn’t mind, which was not the response he was expecting. If I know he’s married, I know not to call or text after certain hours, I’m not hurt thinking he’s ignoring me, he’s busy with his actual life. I was just out of a really bad relationship and didn’t have the energy or desire to put into an actual relationship, but a girl has needs! It worked out perfect, I wanted nothing but sex and no drama, he needed discretion and an enthusiastic partner. He loves his family and wife, this is just mutual masterbation in a sense."

What are your thoughts about these confessions? Let me know in the comments.

Note: Some submissions have been edited for length/clarity.