Woman Demoted from Maid of Honor Questions If Overseas Destination Wedding Is Still Worth Cost of Attending

Posting to the popular AITA Reddit page, a woman explained how she reconsidered the costs of travel in her new bridesmaid role

After getting demoted from maid of honor to bridesmaid, one woman started reconsidering the costs of traveling for her best friend's wedding.

Posting on a popular AITA Reddit forum, an anonymous user wondered if she was in the wrong for "refusing to attend" her longtime pal's "incredibly expensive" wedding abroad. Her decision to drop out of the event came after the bride — whom the user calls Jenny — delivered some unfortunate news about the wedding party hierarchy.

"Jenny informed me that she had decided to make her sister the maid of honor instead but still wanted me to be a bridesmaid. She explained her family was putting pressure on her since it’s a family tradition," the user explained.

She also noted that she agreed to be Jenny's maid of honor "immediately" after she got engaged, and the friend had already "started helping with the planning, from dress shopping to tasting cakes."

Related: Wedding Singer Gifts Performance for Friend's Reception. After a Falling Out, Bride Still Expects Band for Free

The Reddit user said she was hurt by her demotion to bridesmaid, but she "tried to be understanding" about the situation. However, her feelings became complicated under the financial strain of Jenny's overseas destination wedding.

"Between flights, accommodations, and other expenses, we’re talking about a significant amount of money," the former maid of honor wrote online. "I started reevaluating whether I could justify the cost, especially since I’ve had some financial setbacks recently (unexpected car repairs, medical bills, etc.)."

Eventually, she decided to tell Jenny she couldn't afford to make the trip, but the bride wasn't so sympathetic.

"She was upset and accused me of backing out because I was no longer the maid of honor. She said I was letting my pride get in the way of our friendship and that if I really cared, I’d find a way to make it work financially," the user recalled. "I feel terrible. I want to be there for her, but the financial strain is too much for me, especially now that my role in the wedding—and my involvement in the planning—has changed."

Despite the context of the demotion from maid of honor, many of the top Reddit replies focused on basic destination wedding etiquette. Several comments reassured the author that she was not at fault, and the bride should not expect all of her guests to be so flexible with their funds.

Related: Bride and Groom Won't Allow Friend to Bring His Wife to Wedding Because They Can't Afford +1's: 'Unbearably Broke'

"Not sure where the idea came from that to 'prove your friendship' a person has to go into debt," one commenter wrote. "Buying a dress is one thing but flights, hotel, meals, rental car, gift … It’s ridiculous."

Another person agreed, writing, "The whole point of destination [weddings] when they first became a thing was to be able to invite people knowing they likely wouldn't come, and thus keep the wedding small and more affordable without hurt feelings of not making the guest list."

Some urged the author to consider how the bride could help, if she truly wanted the author present on her wedding day: "If it's important for her that you are there, she will foot the bill," read one anonymous reply.

For more People news, make sure to sign up for our newsletter!

Read the original article on People.