Mum busts virginity 'myth' in mind-blowing viral video on TikTok

Penny Burfitt
·Lifestyle & Entertainment Producer
·3-min read

We all know lots of traditional ideas and concepts can often reveal themselves to be outdated relics of times gone by when they are examined a little closer.

Why do brides wear veils over their faces? What does 'boys will be boys' really mean? Many traditions though they might be repurposed in positive ways today come from a very dark history of subjugation and sexism.

Woman in veil wedding bride represents virginity
The idea of 'virginity' stems from a time when marriage was transactional, and women were the prize. Photo: Getty Images

Well, one concept we may not have taken a hard enough look at in recent times is the idea of virginity.

Maybe you're thinking that virginity is a fact, not an 'idea', but as one mum has explained in a viral video the entire notion actually boils down to quite an abstract idea, and a pretty sexist one at that.


Cayce LaCorte, who is an author from South Carolina in the US, goes by 'Book Mama' on TikTok where her revolutionary idea has made waves.

In a now-viral video, Cayce explains that as a mum, she chooses to teach her five daughters that virginity is about as real as the Tooth Fairy.

Cacye Book mamma RikTok virginity is a myth viral video
Mum Cayce has revealed she is teaching her daughters that virginity is fake. Photo: TikTok

Extrapolating on the idea, she reveals that she considers the concept to be a 'patriarchal construct'.

"It is a patriarchal concept used to control women and serves no purpose, other than making women feel bad about ourselves," she explains.

"Just because some guy randomly sticks his p***s in you at some point in your life does not change your worth, it does not change who you are, it doesn’t do anything other than it happened."

She explains that often parents will protest that without the threat of virginity looming over their heads Cayce's girls will grow up more promiscuous, an idea the mum laughs off.

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"Sex is important," she says. "It’s a big deal. It should always be a big deal. It has nothing to do with your first time . . . it’s just ridiculous. The whole concept is ridiculous."

The physical idea of virginity has been used by many cultures stretching back to ancient times to value women who were married off in transaction exchanges between men.

In many ancient and not-so-ancient cultures, women were legally considered the property of their male guardians, a father or husband, and their virginity was used as a selling point to transfer them from one man, their father, to the next, their husband.

Physically the closest thing to a 'virginity' is the hymen which was traditionally believed to remain intact until a woman experienced penetrative sex, but in modern times we understand its an imperfect measuring tool given that hymens can break for all sorts of reasons.

Cayce's video attracted plenty of attention from viewers who mainly loved the idea, many praising her for revolutionising their concepts of purity and worth in the 15-second video.

Cayce told UK publication Metro the whole thing had always seemed very straightforward to her.

‘Basically, the entire thing is used to control us and control how we view others," she said. "Men get bullied for being virgins, women get shunned for not being virgins, and in the end no one wins."

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