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TikToker's steak 'trick' horrifies Aussies: 'Made me physically angry'
One social media chef has Aussies up in arms with her unusual cooking tips.
Here in the land down under we tend to take our meat pretty seriously (apols to all vegans and vegetarians) so it stands to reason that there are some strong opinions on how it should be cooked. In a video that has left Aussie meat-eaters truly traumatised, one TikTok star has shared a rather unique way of cooking steak and let's just say it's...different.
In the reel titled 'I learned this steak trick in Australia', Jane Brain demonstrates how she cooks a truly stunning piece of meat... in Vegemite. And with an egg. And surrounded by Cheezels? There is just so much to unpack.
"Let's start by taking out the centre of our top sirloin steak and then we're going to grab it and place it into our hot pan," Jane begins.
Okay, ma'am but WHAT are you going to do with that cut-out bit of steak because it would be nothing short of blasphemy to simply discard it.
That's not a drizzle!
Next, Jane instructs us to "grab our egg and place that right in the centre".
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But why? Why is there an egg? And why are we cooking it in the centre of the Vegemite steak like some kind of culinary disaster you THINK is a good idea at 3 am after a solid 10 hours of drinking?
"We're just going to drizzle on some of this Vegemite sauce," Jane says - as she proceeds to squeeze HALF A TUBE of yeast spread onto the steak. Homegirl, please - that is no more a drizzle than a tropical storm in monsoon season.
Grab a bag of Cheezels?
"Look at that," she continues. "Such a nice thick marinade for our steak, and just make sure it is fully coated. I like to do the front and the sides because it kinda looks like Nutella. Nutella on steak. That's a story for another day. That would be an interesting one. Don't give me any ideas."
WE WERE NOT PLANNING TO!
As unbelievable as it sounds, things then get worse (yes, worse!) when this creative cook instructs her followers to "grab a bag of Cheezels. Pop those open. The only thing you can find that's orange cheddar in this country. And this is gonna make our side dish."
At this point, my heart is hurting and its got nothing to do with the bag of processed cholesterol she just dumped into the pan in the name of gastronomy.
"The Cheezels are a little dry, so let's give it something to cook in," Jane ominously says. "We're gonna add in some oat milk."
Okay, now I'm starting to think she's trolling us.
"We're just gonna sprinkle in some of this white cheddar. This is gonna melt down and give it that nice creamy texture we're looking for. Think of it like cheese on mashed potatoes, except way better...
"Now I'm just gonna make sure all the nice flavours come out since we picked a really good cut of beef."
Jane please, stop! For the love of Satan, stop!
'You must be stopped'
"Let's add some hot sauce," she taunts. "I like everything spicy. This one has some truffle in it as well."
I give up.
As you'd imagine, I was not the only one who was watching in horror as Jane Brain did unspeakable things to a glorious cut of beef, with her followers also chiming in on the video.
"I had a violent visceral reaction to this. Respectfully," one person on Instagram said.
"That made me physically angry," said someone else.
"You must be stopped," another hilariously warned.
Your invitation has been revoked
Over on TikTok, where the video has been watched 1.2 million times, the crowd was just as tough.
"Yes officer, this one here," one user teased.
"Your invitation has been revoked," someone else added. "Absolutely not.
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"'These cheezels turn into the perfect mashed potatoes' is a phrase I could never have imagined being said out loud," commented another.
And so, with that, Jane Brain and her steak 'trick' will forever live rent-free in my head and I will never not be wondering what she did with the centre of that piece of meat...and why I am secretly keen to give this utterly insane recipe a whirl.
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