Tamra Judge’s Daughter Sophia Was ‘Happy’ to Return to “RHOC”: ‘Frustrating Hiding in the Shadows’ (Exclusive)

The 18-year-old opens up to PEOPLE about being back on Bravo

Real Housewives of Orange County fans got a surprise when season 18 premiered in July: the appearance of Tamra Judge’s youngest daughter, Sophia Barney. 

Last seen on the Bravo series in season 5 when she was just five years old, Sophia vanished from the airways after Judge, 56, split from Sophia’s father Simon Barney, who refused to sign the release that would let Sophia — along with their two other kids, Spencer, 23, and Sydney, 24 — appear on camera.

For years, Judge continued to film while Sophia and her siblings remained in the background. Only Ryan Vieth, 38, Judge's adult son from her first marriage, would show up from time to time.

"As a mom, I felt horrible," Judge tells PEOPLE. "I'd even say, "Can you just shoot them from the back walking up the stairs so people know that I have children?' Because it was really hard for me. We're supposed to be fully transparent on the show, and here was this whole part of me I could just never show."

It wasn't easy for Sophia, either. "It was frustrating hiding in the shadows," she says. "I had to tiptoe around the cameras all the time. And seeing my mom do it my entire life, it seemed like there was something happening in my life that I was kind of a part of, but always an outsider to."

When Spencer turned 18 during season 13, fans got to see him celebrate his birthday with Judge and his family on TV. And when Sophia hit the milestone this year, she too showed up.

"As I got older, I wanted to be part of it so I'm happy," she says. "It just seemed a lot easier; like I didn't have to feel like a stranger in my own house."

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So far, the experience of being on reality TV has been an easy one for Sophia. But she's seen first-hand the other side of reality TV, through the backlash her mother has gotten over the years.

"I just I don't see Tamra Judge that everyone else sees. I see my mom," Sophia says, when asked how she feels about comments she reads online about her mom. "These people, they only see her through the TV and it's not the person that she is. The life we have together, she's nothing like that. So I just think they're uneducated and the stuff they say online, they're the ones who look like idiots."

The two "live a very mellow life," Judge says. "I've always separated that world from them. We don't walk red carpets. We don't have paparazzi taking our pictures. We don't act like we're a big deal by any means."

"We're very normal," Sophia notes. 'We just go to HomeGoods, to the mall, to thrift stores. It's very chill."

Related: Tamra Judge Gets 2 New Tattoos Honoring Her Kids and Wedding Anniversary

"She's my best friend," Judge adds. "Which, I think a lot of people wouldn't understand because they haven't seen our bond over the years."

Judge tells PEOPLE she's always tried to give all her kids the room to be themselves. And for Sophia, that allowed her the space to express herself creatively, both in the art she creates and the outfits she wears.

Sophia sees herself working in the entertainment industry in some capacity one day. "I make music; I produce and I sing," she says. "And I like design and art and things like that."

The teen is also into vintage fashion, which she posts on her Instagram. "I never really fit in to the Orange County mold at all," she says. "I never really cared, even when I was younger."

Related: Tamra Judge Says Andy Cohen Facilitated Her Make Up with Alexis Bellino; Why She Was Able to Forgive (Exclusive)

Judge recalls the many different hair colors Sophia has had over the years. "I think she's done every single color; pink, blue, whatever," the Vena CBD founder recalls. "Her hair was brown when she was filming this season and then went red towards the end of the season and now it's back to blondish."

"A lot of parents, they're like, 'No, you can't do that.' But I've always wanted my kids to express themselves how they want to express themselves," Judge continues. "I guess it stems from my own experience growing up, because I never really listened to what other people told me; I had to learn from my own mistakes. So that's the kind of mom I am."

"I accept them for who they are, not who I want them to be," she adds.

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And Judge is proud of who all her kids have turned out to be — including Sydney, from whom she remains estranged.

"I have been blessed with the best kids ever," Judge says. "You know, I went through a very public divorce and I think they felt very put in the middle at the time. But they're all grown into very strong-minded, grounded people who all have their values in the right place. So I consider myself very lucky."

The Real Housewives of Orange County airs Thursdays (9 p.m. ET) on Bravo.

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