Research reveals: staying home with kids may feel more stressful than working—Here’s why

If you’ve ever felt like staying home with kids is harder than clocking into a full-time job, you’re not alone.

 A 2018 Aveeno Baby survey is going viral again, because, well, stay-at-home parenting is still a grind. The study, which surveyed 1,500 parents in the UK, found that 31% said staying at home with a child was harder than going to work. While this stat highlights the challenges of full-time caregiving, it’s important to note that the survey focused on new parents rather than all stay-at-home moms.

Additionally, while the study captured perceptions of difficulty, it did not directly measure stress levels or compare them across working and stay-at-home parents. Other research suggests that both groups experience significant stress but in different ways.

But according to Motherly’s State of Motherhood Study, the reality might be even more intense than that stat suggests. Motherly’s data shows that SAHMs experience significant stress, often stemming from isolation, lack of personal time, and limited support systems. While working moms also report high levels of stress—often due to role overload—research indicates that the sources of stress differ.

SAHMs face unique challenges, such as fewer structured breaks, greater social isolation, and a heavier  cognitive load at home. At the same time, many working moms don’t feel they get a break either, as they navigate both career pressures and household responsibilities. Some research suggests that while working parents may experience structured work hours and social interaction, they also report high levels of role overload and work-family conflict.

The findings expose a paradox: SAHMs are doing physically and emotionally demanding work, yet they often have little access to breaks, help, or validation. Meanwhile, some working moms may wish they had the option to stay home but face financial pressures that make that impossible. Studies suggest that neither path is necessarily “easier”—rather, both come with distinct trade-offs that impact maternal well-being. The key takeaway? No matter which path a mom takes, she deserves more support.

Related: Motherly’s latest State of Motherhood Study

The reality of stay-at-home mom stress

While the world still romanticizes the image of the “at-home mom,” Motherly’s research paints a more complex picture:

• Less time for themselves: Mothers across the board report struggling to find personal time, with many SAHMs feeling like they’re constantly ‘on.’ While some moms do manage short breaks during the day, the unpredictability of full-time caregiving often makes uninterrupted personal time even harder to come by. However, some SAHMs report a sense of autonomy over their schedules, which working parents may not always experience.

• Higher levels of stress: Full-time caregiving comes with relentless physical and mental load—without the built-in breaks or social interaction of a workplace. Meanwhile, studies indicate that working moms experience significant stress from managing dual responsibilities, particularly in jobs that offer little flexibility.

• Social media pressure: Competitive parenting culture is heightened when your daily job is raising children in a world full of Instagram highlight reels.

• Lack of societal support: Unlike many other developed nations, the U.S. provides little to no financial or structural support for full-time caregivers. SAHMs do not earn Social Security credits unless they have paid employment, leaving single SAHMs particularly vulnerable. While married SAHMs may qualify for spousal Social Security benefits, the lack of direct financial recognition for caregiving remains a major gap in U.S. policy. Meanwhile, working parents in the U.S. also contend with limited parental leave policies and expensive childcare costs, which can add financial strain and emotional stress.

The mental load of full-time caregiving

SAHMs don’t just manage their own schedules—they carry the entire household’s logistics in their minds at all times. This means remembering when the baby last napped, planning meals, scheduling doctor’s appointments, managing tantrums, and ensuring everyone’s emotional needs are met. Research on the “mental load” shows that mothers, regardless of employment status, take on the majority of invisible labor at home.

Unlike traditional jobs, there are no breaks, no promotions, and no clear “end of the day.” Research from Motherly’s State of Motherhood Study shows that this constant cognitive load can lead to increased rates of burnout, exhaustion, and even resentment. Similarly, studies on working parents indicate that balancing professional responsibilities alongside household management contributes to chronic stress and burnout.

Related: The invisible labor that’s breaking moms

What stay-at-home moms deserve

It’s time to stop treating full-time caregiving like an invisible, unpaid job. Supporting all mothers—regardless of their employment status—should be a societal priority. Here’s what SAHMs truly deserve:

• Financial recognition. Parenting is work. Other countries provide childcare stipends or caregiver benefits, and the U.S. needs to catch up.

• Time off—without guilt. Every SAHM deserves breaks, self-care, and time away from their kids. A full-time job comes with PTO—so should parenting. Likewise, workplace policies that support working parents—such as paid leave and flexible schedules—are crucial to alleviating stress for moms in the workforce.

• More support from partners and communities. The job of raising kids shouldn’t fall solely on moms. Dads, partners, and extended family need to step up and share the load.

• A shift in cultural expectations. SAHMs don’t exist to “do it all.” We need to normalize asking for help, hiring help when possible, and rejecting the supermom myth. And working moms deserve support, too—whether that’s workplace flexibility, childcare subsidies, or societal recognition of the double duty they perform every day.

Whether a mom stays home or works outside the home, one thing is clear: Moms are carrying too much, with too little recognition and support. It’s time for real change—policies that value caregiving, workplace structures that support parents, and a culture that stops expecting moms to do it all. Because whether they’re at home or in the office, moms are working. And they deserve better.