“Special Forces”: Cam Newton Admits He’s Still Dealing with 'Resentment' After Having a 'Child Outside My Relationship'

Cam Newton is sharing that he's still dealing with some of his past "mistakes."

On this week's episode of Special Forces, the recruits received video messages from their family members. However, the retired NFL player, 35, didn't receive one from any family—instead, he received a message from a member of his production company.

"My dark side in my life was like I was in a long-term relationship and I had a child outside my relationship," Newton shares. "We had just moved into a house and everything was kind of perfect from the outside in, you know?"

"And my relationship with my oldest daughter has suffered. All she kept asking was, 'Yo, why?' " he recalls.

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Related: Special Forces: Cam Newton Jokes He Has Too Many ‘Damn Kids’ to Write a 'Death Letter' to His Family

In a confessional, Newton adds that he feels like he's still "making mistakes."

"Family, they give me purpose, but I made my mistakes," he says. "Still making mistakes."

“I'm still dealing with that resentment. So if I can heal that, then that's the start," he continues, adding in a confessional, "My daughter. We have our disconnects, but I just want my children to know that their dad cares, like I care.”

Talking to his fellow recruits, Newton continues to speak about the "vulnerableness" of having a child outside of his relationship.

"I know I hurt somebody, but I didn't want what I created to be a secret either. But all the while, too, my relationship with my oldest daughter suffered, and is suffering from that," he continues. "Daddy cheated on my mommy. I think it's important for me to be accountable."

Newton is dad to eight kids — he shares four children with his ex-girlfriend, Kia Proctor — sons Chosen Sebastian, Camidas Swain and Cashmere Saint and daughter Sovereign-Dior Cambella — and helps raise Proctor’s older daughter, Shakira. Newton also shares two children with photographer LaReina Shaw — their son, Caesar and Shaw's older son, Jaden, from a previous relationship.

In a previous episode of Special Forces, the recruits were asked to write "death letters" to their family and friends, allowing them to share everything they couldn't when they were back home. As they all began to write their messages, Newton joked that his family was too big to write individual death letters.

"I ain't got enough ink to write down all my damn kids," the former NFL player joked. "To my family, just know everything I did was to better the lives of everyone."

"I guess it is true what they say, you don't really enjoy the things until you no longer have them," Newton continued. "I love to love on you: every kiss, every hug. Daddy loves you. Xoxo."

Special Forces: World's Toughest Test is now streaming on Hulu.

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