Make Someone Else's Day a Bit Brighter With One of These Funny Puns

Say what you will about a good (or bad) pun: These quippy one-liners and word plays might be silly, but they're downright fun, too. Sure, you might elicit as many groans as you do chuckles, but share a pun in a crowd and you're bound to see some smiles — and that's worth a lot these days.

Fear not: You don't have to be a proper comedian to play with puns, of course. Just add a few of the best funny puns on our list to your repertoire and bust them out when the situation calls for it... or even when it doesn't. (For instance, is there ever a bad time to ask why pirates are called pirates? They just arrrr!)

Share these funny puns with your kids, classrooms, friends, coworkers — just about anyone of any age. And tell those corny jokes and dad jokes with major satisfaction, no matter the crowd reaction: There's no shame in your game! It's just all in good fun.

For even more smiles — whether real belly laughs or good-natured eye rolls — check out our list of jokes for kids, autumn jokes, math jokes and puns, and knock-knock jokes for all ages.

Funny Puns for Adults

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Woman's Day

Like I tell my girlfriends: If your guy can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango!

A wife told her husband that moose were falling from the sky. The husband replied: It's reindeer.

For what time does a duck set its alarm? The quack of dawn.

Why did the pasta have to break a car window? Gnocchi.

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is getting better!

What did the yoga teacher say about leaving the studio after class? Namaste.

Why did the golfer bring a change of socks? In case he got a hole in one.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Did you know the devil is losing his hair? There's going to be hell toupee.

Do you know why my kids skip a daily nap? They're resisting a rest.

Funny Puns for Kids

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Woman's Day

Why are pirates called pirates? I don't know... they just arrrrrrr!

There was a kidnapping at school yesterday. But then he woke up.

Why did the bike take a nap? It was two tired.

What did the buffalo say to its son? Bison.

Why did the strawberry freak out? It was in a jam.

What does a baby computer call its dad? Data.

What did one potty say to the other? You look flushed.

Why should you wear glasses in math class? They improve division.

Why didn't the kid tell his mom he ate glue? His lips were sealed.

What did the carrot say to the celery? Stop stalking me!

What do you call a sad strawberry? A blue berry.

What did the horse say when it fell? I've fallen and I can't giddyup!

What did the nut say to the other nut in a race? I'm a cashew!

Why did the cat cancel her vet appointment? She was feline fine.

Why did the ant get confused? All of its uncles were ants.

What's the best way to make a hotdog stand? Take away its seat.

Did you hear the one about the cross-eyed teacher? She couldn't control her pupils.

What's the best way to organize a space-theme party? Planet.

Why did the fish fail out of fish school? Its grades were below sea level.

Why wouldn't the shrimp share his toys? It was a little shellfish.

Why can't towels make jokes? They have a dry sense of humor.

Why is bread considered lazy? It just loafs around.

What's red and has a raspy voice? A hoarse radish.

What did the corn say when it got a compliment? Awww, shucks.

Short and Clever Puns

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Woman's Day

How do you know which pepper is the busybody? It gets jalapeño business.

Why aren't astronomers into Orion's belt? It's a big waist of space.

Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.

What do you call a piece of toast in a cage? Bread in captivity.

Why do cows have hooves but not feet? They lactose.

Why did the belt get arrested? It held up a pair of pants.

What did the duck tell the waiter? "Put it on my bill."

How did the phone propose to the love of his life? He gave her a ring.

What did the football coach say to the arcade game? I want my quarterback.

How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.

What's the difference between a man in sweatpants on a tricycle and a man in a tuxedo on a bicycle? Attire.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? The food was great, but it had no atmosphere.

Why couldn't the below-average sailor learn the alphabet? He was always getting lost at C.

Terrible and Corny Puns

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Woman's Day

What did the sushi roll say to the bumble bee? Wasabi.

What did one tomato running a marathon say to the other? Just try to ketchup!

Why would I like to work at a mirror factory? It's a job I can really see myself doing.

Why did the painting go to jail? It was framed.

Why did the thief need a vacuum? To make a clean getaway.

Why did the rabbit hide under the covers? She was having a bad hare day.

Can February March? No, but April May.

What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

How do trees feel in the springtime? Re-leaved.

What do you call an indecisive bee? A maybe.

What did the triangle say to the circle? You're pointless.

Why was six scared? Because seven ate nine.

Know any good jokes about ropes? I'm a frayed knot.

Why did the man buy a boat? Because it was for sail.

What did the bottle of ranch say when someone opened the fridge? Close the door, I'm dressing!

Why didn't the pony sing in the performance? He was a little horse.

What does a clock do at mealtime? It has seconds.

Why did the scarecrow win a prize? He was outstanding in the field.

Funny One-Liners

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Woman's Day

I tried to make a pun about a vacuum, but it sucked.

You should never trust stairs — they're always up to something.

I learned to pick locks, and it opened a lot of doors for me.

When the past, the present, and the future walked into a bar... it was tense!

I wanted to find a camouflage jacket but I couldn't find it.

Every time I wake up, it's an eye-opening experience.

I used to hate facial hair. But it grew on me.

I read a book about anti-gravity. I couldn't put it down.

Never trust atoms — they make up everything.

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger and bigger... and then it hit me.

Pancakes walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out of here, we don't serve breakfast."

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