‘SNL’s’ Biggest Celebs Reveal Their Darkest Secrets to Martin Short

This week’s Saturday Night Live cold open continued a long tradition of five-time hosts officially joining the Five Timers Club. It’s an exclusive club that comes with its own robe. It also, as Tom Hanks himself admitted in this sketch, started off as “an ingeniously lazy way to avoid writing a monologue.”

Martin Short was visited by an unprecedented number of five-time hosts, including Hanks, Paul Rudd, Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, Scarlett Johansson, Melissa McCarthy, John Mulaney, Emma Stone, Kristen Wiig, and Jimmy Fallon.

The celebrities not only congratulated Short on his success, but took advantage of their exclusive club to tell each other secrets.

First off, Kristen Wiig revealed that she and Martin Short used to have “a thing” together.

“We took a hot yoga class together where we made love and got kicked out,” she explained. “And then we both voted for Trump.”

Rudd took this as a cue to get his secret opinion off his chest: “Ant-Man’s powers aren’t good.”

Referring to the mysterious drone sightings around New Jersey, Fey confessed, “It’s me that’s flying those drones.”

Hanks, one of the first A-list celebrities to get COVID back in March 2020, admitted, “I never had COVID.”

Johansson one-upped him by announcing, “I have COVID right now!”

“I have way too many children,” Alec Baldwin said, while smoking a cigarette.

Mulaney soon entered the sketch, and after joking a bit about his short-lived 2014 sitcom, he was roasted by Short for his public struggles with sobriety.

“You came back strong, and then you crashed and burned,” Short said, “And then you came back strong, and we’re all so curious what will happen next. Let’s raise a toast, shall we?”

“Oh, is there anything non-alcoholic?” Mulaney asked.

“Do you mean drinks or people?” Fey replied. “Because either way, no.”

For more, listen to Martin Short on The Last Laugh podcast.