Swinging tips from a sexpert

It seems both Perth and Melbourne claim to be the ‘swingers capital of Australia’, but while it may not be something you’ve ever thought much about, the world of swinging is actually something thousands of Aussies take part in every day.

Some dating websites claim swingers are their most active users, while there are also dedicated sites that connect thousands of swingers and open-minded couples all around the country.

Swinging is a form of recreational sex between consenting adults, usually between two heterosexual couples or between a couple and a single female or male.

Sex therapist Matty Silver, the author of Sex Down Under, says many couples find the thought of having sex with people other than their partners arousing, and swinging can be a catalyst for improving their sex life and relationship.

“They like the excitement of an anticipated encounter with another couple or a single person,” Matty tells Yahoo Lifestyle.

Matty says swinging has a particular attraction for women who want to experiment with their bisexuality or be the centre of attention of two males.

But some couples enjoy and seek sexual excitement watching other couples have sex. Partners often find their egos get a boost, their self-esteem increases, they feel happier and their relationship improves.

“Swingers usually have an open attitude to sexuality and relationship commitment, and are therefore generally happier in their relationships because they can be more open minded and adventurous,” she explains.

“Some people may feel stifled by society’s repressive attitudes towards sexuality and welcome the opportunity to find like-minded friends.”

But while swinging is definitely prevalent in Australia, it’s not something people often feel comfortable talking openly about.

“Swinging is still very much taboo in Australia and so it's not a subject you're likely to discuss with your colleagues at work after an exciting weekend,” Matty tells us.

“I believe it’s best for couples to be discreet when they decide to be swingers if they don’t want their family or teenage children to find out.”

Matty warns however, swinging is definitely not for everyone, even though it can enhance or improve the sex lives of many couples.

“When couples experience insecurities, jealousy and communication difficulties, swinging can ruin relationships instead of improving them,” she explains.

“Swinging requires a strong relationship and solid sense of trust between partners, and works best for couples when they see it as an enhancement of their existing relationship rather than a replacement for a failing one.

“It really is important for people to understand that swinging only enhances relationships that are strong and happy.”

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