Yahoo Lifestyle "It's Ridiculous That Modern Society Deems Them As Obscene Or 'Too Much'": 25 Unladylike Things Women Admit To Loving
When redditor u/xprincesskitx asked the r/AskWomen community: "What's something society thinks is inappropriate for women but you love about yourself?" women (rightfully) had a LOT to say. Their comments are a poignant reminder of two things: First, women still face frustrating, constraining societal pressures and expectations, and second, those expectations are entirely bogus. The good news is these 25 responders are willing to put up with none of it.
Here’s how women are unapologetically rejecting these outdated standards and embracing their authentic selves:
1."Something I love is that I have a 'high body count.' I enjoyed myself a lot in my 20s and have zero regrets. I went on many dates and met many interesting people. I learned a lot about people, had a lot of fun, and tried out everything I wanted to try. I feel calm in my 30s knowing that my sexual curiosities are fulfilled."
2."I have no desire to become a mother."
3."I am plus-size and always have been. My whole life, I've received messages from media, fashion, advertising, and certain social circles that 'fat' is one of the worst things a woman can be. Society tells us it's unfeminine, it's grotesque, it's unattractive, it's ugly. But truth be told, I absolutely adore my curvy body."
"I think it's the epitome of femininity and abundance and sex appeal and beauty. When I was around 17, I said, 'screw it,' and started living the way I wanted to live in my body. And ya know what? Most people I encountered viewed my body positively like I did.
I've had numerous lovers over the years (many of whom have been very conventionally attractive) who treat me like a queen and can't get enough of my body. I've found friends who don't buy into diet culture and who admire my beauty for precisely what it is. I can be fashionable, trendy, and cute like anybody else. People don't laugh at me or judge me for living my life like movies and advertisements always told me they would. Sure, fatphobia exists, but in my experience, the vast majority of the time, it's a media/Internet thing, not a real-life thing. Usually, fatphobia comes from a place of somebody either trying to sell you something or projecting their insecurities onto you. I'm so comfortable in my skin, and people admire that about me. They're drawn to me because of my love for my body, not despite it."
4."So many times, I’ve been told I won’t get married if I don’t change the way I speak or live. People would say things like, ‘Men don’t like women with careers,’ or ‘You’re too independent.’ Well, I’m still not married, and I absolutely love it. I get to do everything I want and love myself completely."
5."As a tattooed woman, I honestly didn’t realize how many men find them so unattractive on women. I like my tattoos and don’t surround myself with Judgmental Judys either."
"Tattoos! Even though it's a little more commonplace now, it's still frowned upon by the older generation."
6."I love having sex, I loved sleeping around when I was single; I am super sexually liberated, and I have no shame about it."
"Yes! I always hated people saying things like, 'Women who sleep around don’t have any self-respect.' I never understood why consensual sex was tied to self-respect. If everyone was happy and having fun doing what they wanted… why should I feel bad about myself?"
"It really tickles me when people are insecure about this. One of my exes tried to guilt me over my high libido, and I can separate feelings with casual sex."
7."I like that I am confrontational. It's not that I go out and look to fight, but I will speak up about annoying behavior when others are too afraid. I've been called quite a few 'B' words because of it, but I don't care."
8."I'm not nice. I'm kind and thoughtful. But I am not nice, and I love that for me. I think more women should try not to be so nice to everyone all the time. I say 'NO' often with no explanation or context. Sometimes, 'NO' is all you have to say."
9."I love my piercings! I have about 13 in total, with two on my face, and one is a septum piercing. People seem to hate it and think it takes away from my beauty, but it compliments my look perfectly! I love it so much and never plan to take it out."
10."I am a masculine lesbian with tattoos. I love not caring for men’s opinions, wanting to be with men, or ever needing them."
11."I travel alone a lot. Oftentimes, I hitchhike, stealth camp, and backpack. Once in a while, I'll go on a regular backpacking trip with hostels and such. Everyone constantly tells me how dangerous it is, that I should buy a gun or pack pepper spray. I never carry anything like that when I travel. My wits have so far been enough to keep me safe."
12."I like learning stuff that society typically expects men to do like changing a flat tire. I realized how essential these tasks were for any individual, alongside being able to cook and to take good care of myself."
13."This might sound kind of shallow, but my height and flat chest! I was insecure about it for the longest time because people always say that women who are tall and/or have no chest are 'just men.' More recently, I've started to love it! I'm a runner and do cross country and track and field for college; my body is functional for my sport!"
14."I stopped shaving a few years back. Honestly, I think my armpit hair is lovely."
15."I value my physical strength. For example, I'm more than happy to exert strength in opening up a jar of pickles (and being proud of myself for getting it done!). I'm not the type to ask a man to open it for me quickly."
16."I have zero interest in sex, romantic relationships, or children. I keep getting told I'll change my mind, or that I'm naive, but I don't care."
17."I love that I'm direct in the workplace. I don't always do small talk. I just ask my question plainly or speak up whenever I feel like something needs to be said, especially when everyone is thinking something, but no one is brave enough to say it. People may not always like it, but I know they respect it."
"I'm like this in my personal life, too. I just say the thing or ask for what I want to know so there is no ambiguity. I have no patience for passive-aggressive behavior. It causes so many problems in relationships (familial or otherwise).
No one ever has to wonder where they stand with me. Confrontation doesn't bother me and doesn't have to be contentious — it's just the most open, direct, effective way of dealing with an issue."
18."I love that I don't have maternal instincts. I may have the required parts to give birth, but that doesn't mean I want to or that I should become a mother."
19."I like not coddling men. Sorry if you got upset, but I won’t entertain your dismissive behavior toward me and make excuses for it. You’re an adult who can pick up the phone if you care."
20."I like that I am ambitious and am in charge of the finances in my family. I'm not scared to take risks."
21."I love having large boobs. People, both men and women, can assume you're promiscuous or loose because your body developed more than the norm. Breasts are marks of womanhood, motherhood, sexual maturity, and fertility. It's ridiculous that modern society deems larger breasts as obscene or 'too much.'"
22."I like being traditional and old school as a woman even though I lean politically liberal."
"Yes, I have a great career, but I still want to take a sabbatical if I have children. I enjoy cooking and taking care of the house, and I absolutely will take my husband’s last name unless he wants to take mine. And finally, I’m only attracted to men with a provider mentality despite being able to provide for myself."
23."I love that I'm happy doing nothing at home. Not sure if this is a women's thing, but I hate feeling pressured to go out and socialize."
24."I like not wearing a bra in public."
25."I love being alone. I have several close friends, but I prefer my company over all others. I never get lonely, and I never get bored. I don’t understand someone who wants to be around another person 24/7, like in a marriage. I lived with someone for 8 years when I was in my 20s and NEVER EVER again. I’ve had relationships here and there over the years, but I am never looking to be in one. This seems to baffle so many people."
What do you actually love about yourself that goes against the grain? Let us know in the comments or anonymously via this form.
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
