The ‘RHONY’ Finale Just Buried Brynn Alive. She Should Be Fired.

Brynn is not who she says she is. She’s not our friend. She’s someone that has schemed and worked to infiltrate our friend group. And the name that you all know her as, the woman who’s birthday we celebrated, who we have been trying to champion, and support and defend is… Reality Von Tease.

Wait, that’s not quite right.

The Real Housewives of New York City reboot has wrapped its second season with the most meta commentary of all: Maybe it was a prank this whole time. Brynn’s pathological lies have finally caught up to her, leading to a finale that gives the show one last gasp of life before it skids to a halt.

Given this is the second Housewives finale in the last week to end on a trip, I think now’s a good time to discuss Bravo’s new strategy. Ending on the trip, at the peak of the drama, can make sense from the perspective of giving the show a dramatic, jaw-dropping boost before the reunion. It’s the smartest move Bravo ever made ending The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Season 4 in Bermuda, leaving the women to contend with the absolute rubble left in the trip’s wake.

This time, we’re ending right when things start to get good. I’d love to see the aftermath of the first moment of intrigue all season, and the reunion isn’t the place to do that.

The RHONY finale is quite symbolic of the reboot’s ethos: All the drama happens once the cameras go down, and the biggest issue is over an off-camera trauma dump that may or may not have happened.

In the midnight hours, Brynn reveals that the main reason Ubah’s comment about her “sucking d---” to get on the show hurt so much is because of her past rape, which she claims Ubah was privy to.

When cameras go down, Jessel delivers this bone to Ubah, and that’s when things get very dark, very fast. Ubah falls to her knees, viscerally sobbing in denial of ever knowing this. It would’ve been cool to actually see this, but well, cameras were down. So all we have is security footage and some confessionals, plus a pretty solid score. Thank you Shed Media for keeping up the Housewives scores in a world full of weird royalty free music.

What’s even weirder is producers are shown fully being there, cameras in hand. So why is most of the footage we have from security cameras?

Ubah’s had a lot of meltdowns this season, some justified, some not, but this feels different. This is genuinely twisted, uncomfortable drama over a topic that could seriously sully her reputation. It’s the kind of thing that Housewives largely steers clear of in this modern era, far removed from the days where the network aired slurs, the creepy OC Angels arc, and the toxicity of Naked Wasted.

On one hand, it’s finally real, authentic drama that has my eyes glued to the screen. Brynn being revealed as some Machiavellian villain whose lies have gotten so gratuitous she exposed herself in the eleventh hour, with this allegation that she never told Ubah about the trauma, is admittedly a great end to her arc. I mean, I guess she could return, but I doubt Brynn could carry a season of filming all by herself as effortlessly as Danielle Staub.

On the other, it begs the question: If the RHONY reboot can only be interesting in such explosive moments, while sleepwalking through the rest, what does that say? Sure, RHOSLC may have peaked with the Reality Von Tease reveal, but it’s moments like the sound bath, pioneer day, and the high-body-count bat mitzvah that keep the show healthy.

This isn’t a full indictment of the RHONY reboot, but simply a reminder that a dramatic finale doesn’t negate a season-long struggle to produce good television. We’ve clearly been building to the understanding that Brynn lies with every breath all year anyway, so it’s a satisfying, yet standard conclusion.

I do love the moment where Brynn’s just vibing on the couch with producers the next day. She’s a scary woman, and it’s too bad it took until now for that to become so abundantly clear.

I also loved her text to Erin as the women convened, worried that a light bulb has gone off in the others’ heads on her string of lies. And it’s admittedly pretty funny to hear every single woman give a confessional like “Brynn’s a nasty, disgusting liar who LIES and is always lying. But we also believe women and know she’s telling the truth about her assault. Just in case anyone wants to cancel us.”

I’m not here to speculate on that, either. And I sincerely hope the fanbase doesn’t take things to an uncomfortable area and do that either, as it’s truly none of our business. I believe women, and so do all of these women—especially Erin, who only donated to the Trump “Stop the Steal” campaign for fun. It was a protest donation.

In the end, Ubah’s kind of vindicated, having a real stroke of luck after a season-long crash-out. Suddenly, she’s the season’s anti-hero, if anything. Good for her.

As for the rest, well they get to serve some poses while filming the title cards, as Bravo wraps up the season. For all the things I don’t like about how RHONY is produced these days, this I love. It’s soooo four letter word that rhymes with punt.

I’m also a huge fan of Erin’s finale card being “Erin’s done with pranks, but not surprises.” Like, okay diva. I hated those pranks to the point they almost ruined my entire life, but it’s almost comical that this humorless vessel of a human being had a season-long arc of being a prankster. This is the Stockholm syndrome speaking, surely.

The finale ends on Brynn giving a teary confessional, not quite realizing the tide has shifted right under her. That “Everybody say cheese :/” confessional… chef’s kiss. Brynn may have flown too close to the sun and taken the drama to a truly rancid place, but had she not, we’d truly have nothing.

Sai spent the entire season hiding after fans pummeled her into silence. Erin threw dull darts with no intent on hitting a bullseye. Jenna refused to film with her family or partner, making for one of the most undeserved full-time Housewives in history. If I’m making cuts, I’m starting with J. Crew.

Can this cast go on with Brynn, knowing full-well that everything she utters is a lie, and that she has no problem tanking her castmates for a cute moment? It’s doubtful. It’s not too different from how Monica Garcia’s arc ended, or even Aviva Drescher. Once people know that you have no interest in anything other than cheap stunts, it’s hard to even keep up that “friendship” facade the franchise strives for.

It’s over for Brynn, and it’s over for one of the worst seasons in Housewives history. My warm and fuzzy is that it wasn’t simply middling, but so bad that it practically forces Bravo to make some tough decisions. My cold and prickly is that I fear the network is too deep into this reboot to admit failure, and a Season 3 subbing Brynn out for some “aspirational” Housewife is in our future. Until then, I’ll hold out hope. This franchise has rarely led us astray for too long.