Revealed! Why ancient statues have tiny penises

Ever wondered why old statues of men have tiny penises?

Like, why does the Statue of David (who is a babe, by the way) have such a weenie manhood?

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According to How To Talk About Art History, it turns out that back in ye olde days, bigger was not always better.

In fact, having a bigger erm, willy was actually frowned upon. (Oh, how much times have changed!)

In ancient times the majority of people felt a big peen was synonymous with a man who was “foolish, lustful, and ugly” says art historian Ellen Oredsson.

The smaller a doodle was, the more rational and intellectual the owner was – apparently. There was a far ‘bigger’ chance he’d use his brain more than his penis.

When sculpting became an art form, apparently many of the artists spent their time carving defined muscles, bone, and facial features rather than sexual organs.

So there you go. Another ancient mystery solved.

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