The ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ Are Finally Terrorizing Kyle Richards

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are on a healing journey, working hard as they can to unlearn years of team mentalities, passive provocation, and a general apathy to good TV.

We may be long past the dire days of Season 8—where the only drama was over serving wine out of a champagne glass—but RHOBH has long struggled with delivering a full season of drama without getting too convoluted in the process. Season 9 was all about the blogs and Season 10 was about if Denise Richards really deserved her paycheck, but after a few years of Erika Jayne-induced insanity, the slate has been cleared. RHOBH is back to basics, and it’s all the better for it.

That’s in part because our newest Housewife is solidifying herself as a pretty good bone collector. Having learned the exact content of Kyle’s text from Garcelle, Boz lets Dorit know that there’s more to the story, leading to a chaotic spa day.

Boz’s serenity soiree is a great event, from the alliterated name to the fact it leads Kyle to an absolute breakdown. It truly is a spiritual journey in the sense that it’s an episode of RHOBH where the dramatic event is aired in full with no cliffhanger. We’re hilled.

Plus, Kyle Richards meltdowns are always funny. No one storms out in a fit of tears like her.

You just can’t text memes (or “mems,” as Jennifer Tilly puts it) without consequence. Especially in Kyle’s case, as she made sure to text PK a little ditty about never revealing what he told her in confidence, and making sure to continue using laughing emojis in response to all his memes.

You all don’t understand! PK gets angry when Kyle doesn’t react to the memes. She is a hostage. No one ever has sympathy for the pretty girl.

Poor Kyle gets pummeled on all ends from the moment she enters the door in her early aughts plum dress. Boz knows better than anyone that this day of healing is really a ruse to trap Kyle in an air of serenity before ripping the polyester robe right out from under her. Thank God for that.

Bozoma sits right next to Kyle and begs to see the text, pissed she missed a juicy moment. I’d be upset too if I missed a Chuck E. Cheese live reading of the second funniest text ever sent, too, simply because I was on bed rest. The funniest text, if you’re curious, is Angie K.’s read that Bronwyn Newport’s husband has “one foot in the grave, and one on a banana peel.”

But Kyle saying “I’ve never repeated anything you have shared with me and never would. (Meaning you can trust me always) Will keep sending memes and won’t forget laughing emojis” is a close second.

Kyle immediately loses her cool, wondering why anyone would possibly care about this nothing text. And Erika, head of the Kyle Richards PR corps, wants to know why it’s such a big deal, too.

Erika was pummeled for two years and hates a gang-up she’s not spearheading, if you all forgot. I mean, there’s no way you did, given Erika can’t go a single episode without mentioning Seasons 11 and 12, as though she faced more scrutiny than the average Housewife does. She thinks she’s Jesus on the cross, but she’s no Vicki Gunvalson.

Erika would genuinely have lost her mind if she had to sit at the RHOSLC finale dinner and share a mean text. I agree with Bozoma: Why is Erika yelling from over there?

Look, don’t get me wrong. Erika is a necessary Kyle soldier. She’s also a major hypocrite whose chaotic era I miss dearly now that she’s auditioning to be the voice of reason.

Erika gassing Kyle up does lead to a hilarious moment where Kyle stands before the ladies and reveals once and for all if she’s a faithful or traitor. Kyle pulls out her phone and reads the text verbatim, once again, still blissfully unaware of how bad it makes her look.

Kyle insists that what she actually meant is she wouldn’t reveal PK’s private thoughts on camera. I don’t think that changes the context much, if at all, and neither do her castmates.

“Obviously that means it was more than memes and jokes. Because it’s memes and jokes, share ‘em! Production likes to laugh too,” Garcelle says in a confessional.

Probably realizing she’s been backed into a corner, Kyle storms off as though the entire cast ran over all of her dogs, but not before she can sit down with Dorit. Here, Kyle further buries herself in lies, as Dorit basically shuts down and saves her anger for her confessionals—and hopefully, the next big event.

Apparently, Dorit is well-aware that PK has confided in Kyle in the past, even trashing Dorit to her. This leads Dorit to question if Kyle can ever be open and honest, even with herself. It’s a great question, and one that has never necessarily been explored in Kyle’s tenure on the show.

Finally, her transparent web of lies is crashing down. How Kyle responds to this could prove if she truly has the juice to be the longest running Housewife of all time, or if she’s simply not ready for a season where she’s truly in the hot seat. The last time that was the case was Season 4, after all.

Kyle’s quite rusty. The best she can do is continually throw out confessionals where she claims Dorit “had to pull something out of her hat, didn’t she?” Don’t get me wrong. Those are absolutely hilarious reactions to the constant pummeling, but they are not the actions of a master strategist.

Kyle has been thoroughly outplayed at every turn, and her saving grace is having Erika on her side. It’s increasingly interesting that the rest of the cast are eye-rolling at Erika’s support, too, given how lopsided Team Kyle once was. Just a few years ago, Kyle had 90 percent of the cast on her side.

Now, two of her allies are Sutton and Garcelle, who last week whacked her for hiding that Mauricio cheated and told her “if you want to be a lesbian, be a lesbian.” Now, they’re meeting up so Sutton can make clear she “won’t bow down at the altar of Kyle Richards.” It’s not exactly the dream team.

That leaves Erika as her most valuable ally, but she’s also a friend of the Dorit caucus. That makes her much more of a wildcard than she’s presented herself, given she’s quietly undermined Dorit a few times this season (first with the Teddi conversation, now this).

Erika pulls Dorit aside for a redo spa day, where Dorit finally puts her friend on the grill and fires up the heat. Erika’s long supported Kyle to the point she crowned her the Queen of Beverly Hills at the Season 9 reunion and has consistently painted Kyle as a benevolent Housewife, with little pushback. Here, she’s getting a necessary come-down from her season-long pretension.

“I know you. You’re very shrewd, and you’re very smart. But I think when it comes to Kyle, I don’t think you call it like you see it. I think you tend to feel like you need to protect her.”

Anyone can admit Kyle’s message to PK is shady and not the kind of thing you do if you truly care about Dorit. Anyone can admit that revealing the text to everyone but Dorit was not in Dorit’s best interest. And anyone can admit Kyle’s a bit full of it, even if you like her.

Erika’s finally in a position where she’s actually being put on the spot, and it’s revealing that she’s not quite prepared for that. It’s nice to have this smaller cast after years of bloat in Beverly Hills, as no one’s able to hide anymore.

Sure, it would be nice if there were another big story going on aside from Kyle vs. Dorit, but luckily, this central feud is good TV. We can’t ask for much more than that.