Yahoo Lifestyle Quotes of the Week: Ghosts, Outlander, Shrinking, Yellowstone, Voice and More
Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour has sadly come to an end. Luckily, TVLine can do Quotes of the Week with a broken heart.
In the list below, we’ve gathered over a dozen of television’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including scripted and unscripted moments from cable, broadcast and streaming series.
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This time around, we’ve got bon mots and zingers from The Voice, Ghosts, What We Do in the Shadows, Bookie, Shrinking, Happy’s Place and The Sex Lives of College Girls.
Also featured in this week’s roundup: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, NCIS, NCIS: Origins, Brilliant Minds, Outlander and more. Plus, we’ve got double doses of House of Villains, No Good Deed and Lioness.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Vlada Gelman, Charlie Mason, Matt Webb Mitovich, Dave Nemetz, Kimberly Roots and Ryan Schwartz)
THE VOICE
“Coach Snoop, you’re on half the products in this country. If you’re not on Kleenex tomorrow morning, somebody’s not doing their job in your world.”
As Uncle Snoop Dogg gets teary-eyed once again, Carson Daly suggests an obvious new endorsement
YELLOWSTONE
“You seem like a moderately intelligent young woman. How can you work for this f—k?”
“Oh, I would never work for a horse trainer. Travis is my boyfriend.”
“I take the intelligent part back.”
Beth (Kelly Reilly) is stumped by the company Sadie (Bella Hadid) keeps
YELLOWSTONE (Bonus Quote!)
“Let’s take the girl with Tourette’s to the bar. That’ll be fun.”
And just like that, Beth realizes that messing with tourists might not be the game for Teeter
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS
“The only thing I understand is that this is some sort of beef that goes back years and years, and it’s impossible to keep up. I’m just hoping that it’ll die down soon so I can have my dinner.”
Jennifer Tilly’s assessment of Kyle and Dorit’s relationship is spot-on, and just another example of why she’s been the best addition to this show in years
WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS
“Man, I wish I had four Guillermos. It’d really lighten my load around here.”
“I wish I had two Guillermos. Then you could have one, and I would have one. The two Guillermos could become friends, or even lovers. And I could say, like, ‘Hey, Guillermo, go f—k yourself!’ and then… he could do that.”
Nandor (Kayvan Novak) goes just a tiny bit overboard praising Guillermo to his boss Jordan (Tim Heidecker)
SHRINKING
“My wife is dead.”
“Of course she is. Cool. I mean, not cool. My ex-husband is dead.”
“Really?”
“To me. [Awkward pause] That was bad. I do that joke a lot, but I say it in a funnier way. I go, ‘He’s dead… to me.’ Nope, that’s the same thing.”
Jimmy (Jason Segel) and Sofi (Cobie Smulders) have an awkward meet cute
NO GOOD DEED (Episode 1)
“Look at Margo. Sunglasses and that purse — she looks like an A.I.-generated… bitch.”
Lydia (Lisa Kudrow) is not happy to see her neighbor Margo at her open house
NO GOOD DEED (Episode 1 Bonus Quote!)
“She was the real virtuoso.”
“Please, don’t pretend like you’re not hot s—t. You played with Dudamel.”
“OK, well, not to name-drop but she played for Hitler… Not ‘cause she wanted to. ‘Cause she had to. You know, to stay alive. They weren’t friends. Yeah, I don’t revere him.”
Lydia (Lisa Kudrow) puts her foot in her mouth while describing her grandmother’s piano career
THE SEX LIVES OF COLLEGE GIRLS
“It’s not a Pixar movie. They don’t talk.”
Canaan (Christopher Meyer), after Kimberly welcomes the delivery robots to the cafe staff
BOOKIE
“If this separation has taught me anything, it’s that… I can’t live, if living is without you.”
“Did you hear that song on the drive up here?”
“Yes, and it upset me so much I had to pull over.”
Danny (Sebastian Maniscalco) has a way with words — or rather, Harry Nilsson’s words
NCIS
“You heard my client — stitches get snitches.”
“It’s ‘snitches get stitches.’ You’re a lawyer, how have you not heard that before?!”
A person of interest just barely is exasperated by her uncool legal counsel
HAPPY’S PLACE
“I don’t think I’m better than anyone. Maybe Guy Fieri, but… yeah, I’m better than him.”
Tavern chef Emmett (Rex Linn) has just the right amount of ego
GEORGIE & MANDY’S FIRST MARRIAGE
“I miss Cosby. He was a nice family man.”
In Audrey’s (Rachel Bay Jones) defense, none of us knew better in the year 1994
JAMIE FOXX: WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS…
“The internet said that Puffy tried to kill me. That’s what the internet was saying. Now, I know what you’re thinking: ‘Did he?’ Hell naw… I left them parties early.”
GHOSTS
“I’m sorry, a drink? What are you, Irish dockworkers? You’re both civilized women. Just do cocaine.”
Hetty (Rebecca Wisocky) criticizes Sam’s plan to invite her neighbor over for a drink to resolve a dispute
HOUSE OF VILLAINS
“No one knows who you are! You were on an irrelevant show so long ago and people like you turn into my fans… I’m so tired of puppet-mastering your bitch ass! Despite all this, I’ll still give you an autograph.”
Hitlist nominee Wes shreds the season’s last Supervillain Jessie to pieces
HOUSE OF VILLAINS (Bonus Quote!)
“It was humaminous, so that means everybody voted for me!”
“OK, a couple things here. First off, it’s unanimous…”
Wes corrects New York’s hilarious vocab slip-up following Kandy Muse’s elimination
NCIS: ORIGINS
“Were you out shooting hoops, dude?”
“No, I went for a run.”
“Without a Walkman…? I don’t get people like you.”
Lala (Mariel Molino) welcomes a sweaty Gibbs (Austin Stowell) to work
BRILLIANT MINDS
“Look, man. I know what you’re doing. You like Ericka. But the fact is, she picked me. Oh, by the way? Thanks for the ice cream.”
Dr. Markus (Alex MacNicoll) can’t help but take the dig at Jacob, who dropped a sweet, frozen treat by Ericka’s apartment the night before
LANDMAN
“Thank you for this food — which looks damn good, if I do say so myself. I found a butcher that imports wild boar from Italy, if you can believe it. If you’re gonna make a Bolognese, it is by far the best to use wild boar and not just ground pork.”
[Whispers] “We still praying?”
[Whispers] “I’m not sure. Maybe she forgot.”
Dale (James Jordan) and Tommy (Billy Bob Thornton) don’t know if Angela (Ali Larter) is saying grace or giving God culinary tips
OUTLANDER
“We were both f—king you!”
In case Jamie was wondering exactly what was going on in the minds of his wife and his friend when they slept together after learning he was dead, Lord John Grey (David Berry) puts a fine point on it
LIONESS
“Do we have to do this again…?”
Joe (Zoe Saldaña) once again tells Commander Dixon how it’s gonna be
LIONESS (Bonus Quote!)
“I look forward to not talking.”
“I can’t f—king wait!”
Josie (Genesis Rodriguez) and Cruz (Laysla de Oliveira) have a lot of twice-delayed (ahem) decompressing to do after this mission
THE SANTA CLASS
“Call the network. Tell them I’m ready to do Love at the North Pole… What do you mean they gave it to Andrew Walker?”
Hallmark fave Paul Campbell, as himself, learning he researched the role of Santa at the North Star Training Academy for nothing
DUNE: PROPHECY
“Father, there’s a rumor circulating about Pruwet’s death. Have you heard it?”
“I have.”
“And does it bother you?”
“What bothers me is the disrespect, the talking behind my back.”
“That is the definition of a rumor.”
Ynez (Sarah-Sofie Boussnina) broaches the Emperor’s (Mark Strong) complicity in murder
FIRE COUNTRY
“It’s a 42 tradition. Put a picture of your loved ones inside your helmet. A reminder of who you’re coming home to.”
“I’m not putting a picture of my cat in my helmet.”
Bode (Max Thierot) shows Audrey (Leven Rambin) the Edgewater ways
BLUE BLOODS
“Guard! Guard!!”
“Today… they only come when I call them.”
Batista (Edward James Olmos) realizes that the police commissioner (Tom Selleck) is running the prison at this given minute
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SALT LAKE CITY
“That smells like the Four Seasons.”
“So does that mean you like it?”
“No.”
Brooks has a harsh review for his mom Meredith’s new bath bomb fragrance
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