Yahoo Lifestyle Quotes of the Week: Evil, Snowpiercer, Umbrella Academy, RHONJ and More
The 2024 Olympics may be winding down, but there are still plenty of verbal gymnastics to celebrate in our latest Quotes of the Week compilation.
In the list below, we’ve gathered over a dozen of television’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including scripted moments from cable, broadcast and streaming series.
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This time around, we’ve got bon mots and zingers from Evil, Big Brother, Last Week Tonight With John Oliver, The Bold and the Beautiful and Days of Our Lives.
Also featured in this week’s roundup: a mic-drop comeback from The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 14 finale, an important lesson on priorities in Snowpiercer and a brief moment of Parisian romance on Morning Joe. Plus, we’ve got double doses of House of the Dragon and Kite Man: Hell Yeah, and a rare triple (!) dose of The Umbrella Academy.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Rebecca Iannucci, Charlie Mason, Matt Webb Mitovich, Kimberly Roots, Ryan Schwartz and Andy Swift)
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY
“You subpoenaed the wrong bitch.”
Margaret sets the record straight after Jackie reveals she was the one conspiring behind Teresa’s back all along
EVIL
“You have zero feelings about it?”
“I only have two feelings: disdain and hunger.”
Kristen (Katja Herbers) and Ben (Aasif Mandvi) are handling their impending unemployment in very different ways
HOUSE OF THE DRAGON
“A knight will comport himself with grace at the queen’s table.”
“Best make me a knight, then.”
Rhaenyra (Emma D’Arcy) attempts — and fails — to chastise Ulf (Tom Bennett) for his atrocious manners
HOUSE OF THE DRAGON (Bonus Quote!)
“Leave me again at your peril.”
“I could not. I have tried… my queen.”
Rhaenyra (Emma D’Arcy) warns Daemon (Matt Smith) what will happen if he ever again takes off for an entire season
SNOWPIERCER
“When the world is starving, you don’t name the lobsters in the tank.”
Admiral Milius (Clark Gregg) schools Dr. Rousseau on dystopian priorities
MORNING JOE
“I’m on a tiny sliver of a balcony that looks like the place two people would come out for cigarettes after a night of romance in Paris.”
Willie Geist keeps it PG-13 while reporting from the host city of the Olympics
LAST WEEK TONIGHT WITH JOHN OLIVER
“I could litigate Kennedy’s stupid arguments all night long, but I really do not want to do that to myself, or to you.… To quote Kennedy’s neurologist, ‘I really don’t have time to go down all these wormholes.’”
BIG BROTHER
“This is Big Brother. This is Big f–king Brother.”
Angela says what we’re all thinking after fellow nominee Tucker removes her from the block and Makensy invokes America’s Veto
THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY (Episode 1)
“Nice mustache, by the way. What are you supposed to be? A Greek serial killer?”
Lila (Ritu Arya) doesn’t find Number Five’s facial hair disguise terribly convincing
THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY (Episode 3)
“Their names are Gene and Jean. They run an underground organization called The Keepers.”
“Sex cult.”
“No, not a sex cult.”
“No, once you get to the top, it’s always a sex cult.”
In this case, Diego (David Castañeda) is incorrect about The Keepers — but generally speaking, he does make a fair point
THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY (Episode 3 Bonus Quote!)
“As fascinating as this may be, I assure you I haven’t the foggiest notion of what this is about.”
“You know something, old man?”
“You are speculating about the actions of a completely different version of myself from a completely different timeline! [beat] That said, it does sound like something I might do.”
Sir Reginald (Colm Feore) initially denies messing with his children’s memories… then admits that treachery is kinda his thing in every universe
KITE MAN: HELL YEAH!
“You know I’ll follow my babe into the most horrifying of places. We got dinner at a Hardees last week!”
Braving the Pit is small potatoes compared to Kite Man’s (Matt Oberg) fast food adventures
KITE MAN: HELL YEAH! (Bonus Quote!)
“Or I guess I’ll go f—k myself.”
Bane (James Adomian) watches Chuck and Lisa safely float down past the Pit’s deadly booby traps, without heeding any of his ProTips
THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL
“I love you, my daughter. I love you, Steffy.”
As young as she is, the new Taylor (Rebecca Budig) takes pains to ensure that we remember she’s (old enough to be) Steffy’s mom
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