Yahoo Lifestyle Quotes of the Week: 9-1-1: Lone Star, Ghosts, NCIS, Harley Quinn and More
You didn’t think we’d forget Quotes of the Week, did you?
In the list below, we’ve gathered over a dozen of television’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including scripted and unscripted moments from cable, broadcast and streaming series.
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This time around, we’ve got bon mots and zingers from 9-1-1: Lone Star, NCIS, High Potential, Tyler Perry’s The Oval, Paradise, Fire Country, Late Night With Seth Meyers, Kitchen Nightmares and NCIS: Origins.
Also featured in this week’s roundup: Harley Quinn retaliates against the media, Abbott Elementary plots a truffle heist and a Bachelor contestant shares her woeful dating history. Plus, we’ve got quotable moments from General Hospital, Southern Hospitality, Days of Our Lives, Rescue: HI-Surf, and double doses of Ghosts, The Rookie and Severance.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Vlada Gelman, Charlie Mason, Matt Webb Mitovich, Dave Nemetz, Kimberly Roots, Ryan Schwartz and Andy Swift)
LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS
“I want to understand what [Trump] means by ‘people that live in forests,’ because you know, Austria and Finland are major industrialized nations. Are you thinking of the Smurfs again? ‘People, they live in little mushroom houses, they know how to manage the [forests]. You know, I was talking to the president of Finland. He had a red hat and a white beard, no shirt, and I thought that was very strange, because he was wearing pants and a hat but no shirt, and how do you come to that conclusion?’”
SEVERANCE
“My husband has had trouble keeping other jobs.”
“He dumb?”
“No.”
“He a d—k?”
Dylan G. (Zach Cherry) tries to figure out why his outie is so often unemployed
SEVERANCE (Bonus Quote!)
“Wellness? We don’t abide such fripperies here.”
There’s no time for self-care on the goat farm, according to Lorne (Gwendoline Christie)
THE BACHELOR
“I’m hoping to find someone who gets me. My latest decisions have been not so wise. My last boyfriend was a DJ.”
Carolina admits that her taste in men has been highly questionable recently
HARLEY QUINN
“What the f—k? They called me a ‘Freak Accident.’ You know what, the media, they hate women.”
Ivy (voiced by Lake Bell) doesn’t mind making murderous headlines, but….
9-1-1: LONE STAR
“As a paramedic, you must have some wild stories.”
“I wouldn’t even know where to start. There was that time I got stuck in a toxic gas cloud, or running through lava bombs.”
“Lava bombs? That’s like out of a movie.”
“No movie script would be that ridiculous.”
We half-expected TK (Ronen Rubinstein) to wink at the camera after this meta exchange with his social worker
GENERAL HOSPITAL
“She didn’t even get a phone number for the rando she slept with!”
“The rando?”
“We have been living with children floor-to-ceiling for months. The argot of the middle-school cafeteria was bound to seep into our lives at some point.”
Olivia (Lisa LoCicero) is taken aback to hear Tracy (Jane Elliot) making child’s play of slang
THE ROOKIE
“Airplane mode.”
Chen (Melissa O’Neil) has had enough of “rookie hero” Seth’s phone blowing up with mentions
THE ROOKIE (Bonus Quote!)
“If any of you ladies are looking to join the LAPD, I’d like to offer a letter of recommendation written by me personally.”
Lopez (Alyssa Diaz) and Harper find that a sorority has already given a would-be kidnapper a rigorous paddling
NCIS: ORIGINS
“Randall, give me your loafers…. I can’t sit across from a three-star general in my mowing Reeboks.”
Even with his boots in the repair shop, Franks (Kyle Schmid) aims to put his best foot forward
KITCHEN NIGHTMARES
“Hopefully, there’ll be no more beef in this place.”
Having quashed workplace quarrelling at a vegan restaurant, Gordon Ramsay’s work is pun
RESCUE: HI-SURF
“What have we got here…? A donut. Did you eat a freakin’ donut before training this morning?!”
Laka (Kekoa Kekumano) takes stock of what Kainalu (Alex Aiono) and Hina heave after an intense swim
NCIS
[Vance, after Parker over-defends taking on Eleni’s case] “I agree.”
“You do? Then why are you here?”
“I was walking by and I smelled freshly baked bread. Can you resist the smell of freshly baked bread?”
“I cannot.”
“Exactly.”
Vance (Rocky Carroll) comes across Kasie’s fresh-baked evidence
ABBOTT ELEMENTARY
“There’s nothing on that menu that I can eat. Everything’s either dusted and crusted or not to be trusted.”
Picky eater Gregory (Tyler James Williams) isn’t sure how he’s going to handle fine dining with Janine
ABBOTT ELEMENTARY (Bonus Quote!)
“You be the Ocean’s, I’ll be the Eleven?”
“Catch me if you can.”
“We about to set it off.”
“I’m up for this Italian job.”
“We be gone in 60 seconds.”
“And then we’d be out of sight.”
Ava (Janelle James) and Melissa (Lisa Ann Walter) plot a heist to steal some expensive truffles
TYLER PERRY’S THE OVAL
“I would love for her to go to prison. So would Gayle.”
“I miss that little firecracker. Do you have any idea where Gayle is?”
“No.”
We couldn’t help but laugh at this way-too-casual exchange between Jason (Daniel Croix Henderson) and President Franklin (Ed Quinn), as if the disappearance of the POTUS’ daughter, who hasn’t been seen since Season 2, is no big deal whatsoever
FIRE COUNTRY
“Want me to drive?”
“No! Just sit there and keep criticizing me.”
Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride has nothing on the drive Sharon (Diane Farr) took Vince (Billy Burke) on
HIGH POTENTIAL
“It was in the news for months! Were you living under a rock in 2014?”
“I would have killed for a rock to live under.”
As a single man with no children, Karadec (Daniel Sunjata) couldn’t possibly imagine how busy Morgan (Kaitlin Olson) was in 2014
PARADISE
“You’d better be right.”
“You brought me here because I’m always right.”
“I brought you here because I admire your pantsuits.”
“Well, s—t, Samantha. That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
Samantha (Julianne Nicholson) and Gabriela (Sarah Shahi) confer — and compliment — while discussing Xavier’s role in the president’s death
GHOSTS
“What about the guy who played Pete in Dumb Deaths? He’s an actor.”
“He’s in England. I saw on Instagram that he booked the lead in Dr. Hoo.”
“Whoa! That’s incredible.”
“Oh, sorry, Hoo, H-O-O. It’s a web series about an owl that teaches kids math.”
Jay (Utkarsh Ambudkar) and Sam (Rose McIver) struggle to find someone to pose as their silent investor
GHOSTS (Bonus Quote!)
“This restaurant should live and die with Jay’s vision. Even if that vision includes tiles that would look more at home in a Canadian high school locker room.”
“We’re watching Degrassi.”
“They put milk in bags. Strange culture, Canada.”
Isaac (Brandon Scott Jones), Pete (Richie Moriarty) and Thor (Devan Chandler Long) have some thoughts about their neighbor up north
DAYS OF OUR LIVES
“Dr. Evans, you cannot watch Drag Race with an avatar. Well, you can, but it would be a different experience. Bonding over who should sashay away is sacred.”
Truer words have never been spoken, at least not by Leo Stark (Greg Rikaart)
SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY
“Even though I’m 33, that’s, like, 50 in gay years, so I’m basically dead.”
TJ is eager to take his career to the next level (before he dies of old age)
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