Yahoo Lifestyle "Champagne Taste On A Beer Budget": This Friend Group Is Exploding After A White Elephant Gone Wrong
The holidays are upon us! And you know what that means: drama.
In the r/AmITheAsshole subreddit, Fit_Caregiver_127 (who I'll call Fit) recently questioned their behavior during a gift exchange gone wrong. Here's the full story:
"A social group that I'm a part of held a white elephant gift exchange last night. Participation was by no means mandatory or even expected. The event was divided up between two pricing tiers: under $25–$50 and $75–$100. The majority of members went with the less expensive tier for obvious reasons, and there's absolutely no stigma within our circle for doing so. In fact, only nine out of our nearly 40 members chose the more expensive tier, myself included."
When it was Fit's turn, they chose a beautifully wrapped present. However, they were disappointed when it turned out to be a hot chocolate set worth way less than the minimum. Everyone else looked disappointed too, except for one woman named Jen, who looked away in embarrassment.
"Now, I know it's petty not to be happy with what you're given, but let's be honest here in saying that Jen was throwing in the sort of thing you'd find on clearance at Walmart, knowing full well she'd walk away with something pricey in turn. In this case, Jen wound up with a brand new Keurig."
Fit said they discretely pulled the group president aside and expressed their concerns. The president wasn't happy either. "She'd even tried to tell Jen not to participate with the more expensive tier because it was well known that Jen wasn't doing great financially, but Jen had sworn up and down that it wouldn't be an issue. We didn't want to disrupt events, so I was asked to put on a kind face and to avoid talking about the gift for the remainder of the evening, which I accepted as people were trying to have fun."
"This morning, I received a long-winded text from Jen, expressing how frustrated she was that I'd demeaned her by complaining about her gift. She went on and on about how nice it must be that I can simply throw my money away while others, like her, are struggling, and that her income shouldn't mean she can't have nice things. Instead of fighting, I forwarded the texts to our group leader, and I've since received word that Jen would no longer be a member of our social group."
"Now, if I'm being honest, I do genuinely feel bad because I know how happy being a member of this group made Jen. She has had a lot of setbacks in her life. I do not hate her or hold any negative feelings for her at all. I simply felt she was knowingly taking advantage of the rest of us to basically trade up beyond her means. AITA?"
Well! As you might imagine, there were plenty of responses for this one!
Most people thought Fit was not the A-hole. SnooPets8873 wrote, "This isn’t like typical friend/family gifting where the thought still counts for something. This sounds more like a club with rules for participation to ensure everyone benefits at roughly the same level, and Jen broke the rules. Every piece of this was under her control — she could have not participated at all, or she could have participated in the more affordable category. She instead gambled on social politeness and people allowing her to snag an expensive item without it costing her."
"And in a purely social group of friends or a family gathering, it likely would have worked because people wouldn’t want to appear unkind or greedy by complaining. For an annoying cousin, I’d have kept quiet. But if I buy a raffle ticket that guarantees a $100 value prize at my local community center? I’m absolutely going to complain if they gave me a box of hot chocolate in return."
Cracker_Bites said, "Jen has champagne taste on a beer budget. You're NTA. You dealt with it discreetly. What she did was on her. It's really disappointing to participate in these things when folks don't play right." LindonLilBlueBalls agreed, writing, "Jen wanted a pricey gift without having to spend the money to get one for others. Some people call this manipulation, but I just call it stealing."
Some people thought the president should have addressed it in the moment, with Trevena_Ice writing, "Honestly, the group leader should have talked to her about that and made her exchange the present she got with the one she brought. Why is it fair that everyone should pay $75–$100 and then get a $4 chocolate gift? There is a price range for a reason."
However, quite a few people thought everyone sucked in this situation. Conscious-Shoulder14 wrote, "ESH, but you are far worse. Jen should not have participated if she couldn’t afford it, but you could have shown a little kindness, compassion, and charity towards someone who is having a difficult time. You essentially got her banned from a group that brought joy into her life because you didn’t like the Christmas present you got. Grow up and learn some empathy."
And plenty of people called out the group for having two separate white elephants. "Having class tiers at a friendly white elephant Christmas exchange is kind of gross," Otherwise-Credit-626 said. Whose_my_daddy had a similar take, writing, "ESH. The price tier thing is silly, and I’m surprised you haven’t had issues similar to this before. Just stick to one price point for everyone. Also, this is not 'white elephant,' which is when you find something at home or some silly thing and bring that. I think you owe Jen an apology that this got out of hand. Not that she wasn’t wrong; she was, and her sense of entitlement was over the top. But now she’s lost friends. All for what? A coffee maker?"
Now, I'm curious: What do you think?
