People Are Sharing The Ways You Can Tell If Someone Has Been Through Some Serious Sh*t, And Some Of These Are Actually Pretty Unexpected

Emily Kling
·5-min read

People process trauma and experience grief in a variety of ways. There's simply no one-size-fits-all for pain.

Which is why when someone posted to r/AskReddit, "What's a sign that someone has been through some sh*t?" there were so many thought-provoking answers.

Below are 19 of those answers. Maybe you'll recognize a behavior you've noticed from a loved one, or perhaps you'll even see yourself.

Either way, I hope this list reminds us that we never really know what someone else is going through.

Here they are:

1."They’ll tell a horrifying story and then be confused about why nobody’s laughing."

Two people sit side by side, gently holding hands, symbolizing support and connection. Both wear casual clothing with visible rings

2."They'll feel anxious when things are going well in their life."

Person sitting on a striped rug, leaning against a sofa with hands on their face, appearing tired or stressed

3."They'll be deeply grateful for a simple act of kindness."

Person with outstretched arms gazing at sunrise, evoking a sense of freedom and positivity

4."They can recognize who's coming by just their footsteps, the sound of their car coming in the driveway, etc."

Person with tattoos listens attentively in a casual setting with others, engaging in a discussion

5."Oversharing. It can be a sign that they feel like they always need to explain themselves."

An older woman with glasses, wearing a knit sweater, is engaged in conversation with a blurred person in a cozy room

6."Or conversely, undersharing. Feeling reluctant to share almost anything and remaining silent and guarded."

Two people embracing closely, with one person's hand resting on the other's back, conveying a sense of comfort and support

7."Overflowing empathy."

Two people sitting on a couch, engaging in a supportive conversation, holding hands

8."They're good at spotting people who haven’t been through serious sh*t."

Woman multitasking at a desk, talking on phone while using laptop in a modern office setting

9."They'll use phrases like, 'It is what it is,' or 'Let the chips fall where they may.'"

Man with a beard and glasses in a questioning pose against a textured background

10."They have zero tolerance for nonsense."

Person with curly hair and glasses holds a finger to their lips, signaling silence. They wear a denim jacket and floral shirt

11."They look older than they should, especially around the eyes."

Close-up of an older person's face, focusing on their eyes and wrinkles, with a dark background

12."The thousand yard stare."

Person in a hooded sweatshirt, looking contemplative in a dimly lit setting

13."They say 'sorry' too often."

Person holding a small chalkboard with the word "SORRY" written on it in chalk

14."They have this shell around them, and you can especially tell because there are moments where the shell cracks, and you can see their real personality shine through, but it won't be long until they go back to how they usually are."

A woman smiles as she engages in conversation with friends indoors, one friend touches her shoulder supportively

15."Constantly second guessing anything."

Two people sitting on a bench, one wearing glasses and a turtleneck, looking surprised or curious at the person next to them

16."Dissociating at every family function by falling asleep on the couch every single time, and only waking once everyone has left/is leaving."

Person lying on a couch with a dog resting its head on their back, both appearing relaxed

17."When they never look happy, I don’t mean those who always look grumpy. I mean those whose smiles are so rare because they don’t have any reason because they went through some real sh*t."

Person in a contemplative pose looking away from the camera, wearing a casual shirt indoors

18."When they feel insulted easily. "

Person covering nose, looking displeased. Wearing a white shirt and cardigan, standing against a plain background

19.And lastly, "When one day they're fine, but then disappear for days at a time."

Person sitting in a car, hand shielding eyes, looking focused or concerned. Background features greenery

So, what do you think? From your own experience, do these signs ring true? Are there any that are missing from this list?

Let me know in the comments.

Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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