People Are Calling Out "Wholesome" Things That Are Actually Toxic, And It's Brutal

A while back, we wrote a post where people shared wholesome things that are actually toxic. In the comments, even more readers called out things that people may not realize are problematic. Here's what they had to say:

1."Proposing at someone's big moment like graduation, first job, etc. It's always men, and it's like they can't stand to have a moment that's not about them."

—bethw41d9ffb62

2."STOP TELLING WOMEN TO SMILE! ESPECIALLY YOUNG GIRLS!!!"

—melrosemccord2325

3."That 'round up for charity' or 'would you like to donate $1 to X charity?' at the cash register thing. Businesses do it because they get the credit and tax deduction for your donation without ever having to give any money themselves."

—skite

4."The idea that winners never give up, never quit. Anything. Ever. That's BS! People quit all the time. It's ok to try things out and make choices; focus on what you have an affinity for and dump what's not for you."

—nyxnyx1

5."My cousins are family vloggers. They have 100k+ subscribers and use their children for clout. They literally vlogged in the hospital when their father was admitted. It's sickening, honestly."

—ananya_20066

6."One thing I absolutely hate in competition shows: 'I don't like it' (five-minute pause) 'I LOVE IT!' Every time you see absolute devastation on the contestant's face, they're trying hard to understand what they did wrong. This isn't wholesome; it isn't funny. It's cruel."

—fauna_joy

7."Forcing children to hug relatives. It's their bodies, and it should be their choice. I don't care if it's grandma or grandpa, an aunt or uncle. The child should be asked, and their response should be respected!"

—mel_moote

8."The 'side hustle' and hustle to get rich thing on social media is SO annoying. There's nothing wrong with living a comfortable life and NOT having a million dollars. Absolutely no need to dedicate your life to making money."

—mandrews20

9."Expecting that just because I am good at something, I should do it for a profit. I bought into that lie with my quilting; it took the joy right out of it, and I couldn't make any money. Now, I am under pressure to sell my jewelry and needlework. But I will to continue enjoying the creative process and making awesome gifts."

—stevieavebury

10."Telling someone who is grieving that the person they’re grieving for is in a better place."

—elizabethc4d51555d7

11."When a married couple tells the story of how they got together, and it's that the guy asked over and over, and the woman kept saying no until he wore her down, and she finally said yes. No means no."

—sarahs402d05f80

12."It bothers me when people post photos or stories of their children's terrible behavior on social media. Your kids are bad. Be a better parent!"

—pez1865

13."Teachers buying school supplies for their students isn't a wholesome story. It's an indictment of our failing education system! Also, kids selling lemonade to pay for their dads surgery. It's proof that our healthcare system doesn't work."

—tomb4adc7727a

14."I'm tired of people bragging and telling stories about their little kid's 'brilliance' while fishing for their audience's agreement. This behavior is made worse when they compare their child's abilities to the perceived deficiencies of someone else's kid just to prove their child superior. It's gross."

—rantrabbit

15."Giving overly warm feedback to men in relationships with women for doing basic parent/partner stuff, like putting away laundry, making dinner, setting appointments for the kids, etc. This isn't something we tend to compliment women for, and sometimes, we end up affirming the idea that men get to opt out of things like that."

—shalewark

16."I hate the term' self-care' — inevitably, it's used to shame people (women especially) into spending time and energy they can scarcely afford in order to do MORE THINGS!!! And then culture turns around and tells women the reason they are so exhausted and drained is their fault; if they just cared for themselves more and did more, that would make it better."

—mellish1

And finally...

17."People who post videos or pictures of themselves on social media giving to people experiencing homelessness or some other charitable moment just for likes. Seems very forced and insincere, in my opinion."

—jgil219

Whew. What are some other "wholesome" things that you think are actually "toxic?" Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.