Older Adults Are Sharing The Heartbreaking Parts About Getting Older, And It Makes Me Want To Go Call My Mom

Age ain't nothing but a number until it catches up to you. As much as we'd all love to be young forever, aging is one of those inevitable parts of life. I recently asked older adults in the BuzzFeed Community to share the heartbreaking parts of getting old. Here's what they had to say:

1."I find the older I get, the less relevant I am. As an older woman, I'm already invisible, but now I feel my mere existence isn't acknowledged anymore."

2."Two things are hard on me. The first is realizing that every time you say goodbye to an older relative it may be the last time. The second thing is having your body not cooperate. I walk slower, and my reactions are slower. My vision and hearing are not as good. Things that used to give me energy and endorphins now just make my body hurt and ache."

—abourque

3."The older I get the more I realize that whatever pain I have in whatever part of my body likely doesn't have a cause — it's just age."

4."Everything from your past gets paid for in your future, regardless of whether you were entirely in control at the time. Keep on top of your mental health. Go to therapy, you don't have to have a diagnosis to go. Just go to keep your mental health healthy. Have a primary care doctor and go for checkups."

—swerdles

5."The fear of losing my faculties. Every time I can't find my car keys I wonder if this is finally it."

6."Ageism and sexism are so much worse post-menopause! I don't understand why people think it's OK to yell 'stupid old crone' from their cars as I am walking by. I now walk with a cane, and people cut in front of me in line. Two sports fans deliberately pushed me over at the grocery store in line, laughed, and said, 'Oh, sorry cripple.' No one did anything to help me back up, or stand up and say it was wrong, not even the staff who watched! I see this happening all the time to other older women as well. I'm just trying to live my life and do my best. No one deserves to be treated poorly based on age, gender, relationship preferences, mobility status, monetary status, or ethnic background. I don't understand why people have become so mean and cruel to me just because I am an older, physically challenged woman."

—Colleen from California

7."The realization that you have more days behind you than in front of you."

8."You sit on the edge of the bed for a few minutes like you are warming up an old car."

—Tony from Virginia

9."I used to scramble over rocks, swim in waterfalls, and zipline as well as other pursuits. Now I'm afraid to use the stairs. I don't have confidence in my balance or the strength of my hips and legs. I still carry a load of laundry up two flights of stairs but very, very slowly."

10."I'm 59, and my 63-year-old husband has frontotemporal dementia. We have been married for 30 years and together for another six. That's decades of inside jokes, shared favorite songs, and memories that are all lost to him now. He is still here, and thankfully functioning, but there are whole swaths of our life together that only I know. Eventually, they will all be lost to the waves of time. It's inevitable and happens to thousands, but it still feels surreal, painful, and lonely."

—Kat from Texas

11."Realizing the things you took for granted are missed and will never come back except as a passing memory."

12."Everything that used to fuel your aspirations will falter and fade. You'll see yourself overtaken by those with far less aspiration. Friends drift away. There's not a lot you can do about it. It gets so much harder to make new ones. Use your youthful vigor to build something meaningful. You won't have it later."

—cutepepper91

13."The realization that I can no longer perform physical tasks as well or as quickly as I used to. My brain says I'm 35, my body says, 'You're an idiot!'"

14."Watching your parents get even older. I've spent the last several years taking care of my elderly parents. My dear mama passed last year after a lengthy battle with dementia, and now I'm going through it all over again with my dad. It's also a scary look into my possible future."

—spicynothingbettertodo

15."My mind says I can, but my body says I can't."

16."The hardest part of getting older? That's an easy one. I can't hike to my favorite spots in the Desolation Wilderness of California like I used to be able to without any trouble. My heart wants so badly to be at these places that I've lived for my whole life, but my body is becoming incapable. The realization that I may not see these places in person ever again is nearly sickening. I don't want to look at pictures, I want to be there! But I can't make it anymore, and it's devastating. I guess I'll have to live with my memories, for as long as I have those."

—G. Oakes from Nevada

17."Memory loss. I have forgotten so many things about my children growing up and my childhood. I have an autobiographical memory issue, and it breaks my heart when my wife reminds me of important things I've forgotten."

18."When I was in my teens and early 20s I had so much fire in me. I was going to change the world! I was sure of it! But life happened. Bills, mundane daily tasks, the unexpected deaths of my parents, and dealing with my mental health. I quickly went from changing the world, to changing the lives of a few people, to surviving. I settled and gave up on my dreams. I dropped out of my Master's program and now work at a factory doing quality control. I still can't afford a house and have given up trying. I never thought getting older would be so soul-crushing. I would give anything just to have a tiny bit of that fire back."

—Anonymous from Wisconsin

19."Loss, constant loss on many levels, and no way to replace or retrieve those losses."

20.And finally, "When you're young you feel like you have an eternity ahead of you. I'm 71, and while that's not too old, my 'use by' date is getting ever closer."

—annab1953

"I used to plan things with an unlimited outlook to the future. As I've aged, I'm constantly trying to figure out what I can still feasibly do with the time I *might* have left."

—Rob from Texas

What's the most heartbreaking part about getting old? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.