Yahoo Lifestyle Older Adults Are Revealing The "Hard Truths" About Aging That No One Prepared Them For, And As A Millennial, I Was Shocked To Hear Some Of These
Getting older certainly comes with perks, but, unfortunately, it also comes with its own set of challenges that people often don't talk about. Recently, redditor u/sofiagympixie asked the r/AskReddit community to share the truths about aging that no one prepared them for, and older adults sure had a lot to say. Here are some of the challenges they shared.
1."No one prepared me for how much energy and time it takes to maintain everything, like health, relationships, and just staying organized. It's way more work than I expected!"
"This. And when one or more of those things is off balance, it takes so much energy and time to get anywhere near feeling balanced again. Or, more accurately, I have started to let things go, which is also a hard truth."
2."You start to realize the older you get that the end is closer than the beginning, and you still feel like you have so much more to do."
3."How your mind stays young while your body starts to slow down. You still feel like the same person you've always been, but suddenly, you notice little things changing."
"When I turned 40, I was asked by a younger person what that felt like. I told them I just feel like a 27-year-old who has been hanging around and doing stuff for 13 years."
4."I'm 61, and sometimes I feel like this world is not for me anymore. I feel almost like an imposter. For example, I can't find clothes I like that fit correctly, TV is abhorrent, only old music sounds pleasant, shoes are uncomfortable, I don't recognize most celebrities or famous people in the news or tabloids, and I don't understand the need for most new and supposedly exciting products. I'm an educated person; I still work and have an active life. I'm not a recluse. But a little at a time, I feel the world is moving on without me. I finally understand why, in her final years, my mother only watched movies from the 1950s and reminisced about the past more than she talked about the present. Her world was long gone."
5."It's not just you who is getting old. Your parents are getting even older."
"My parents are in their early 70s, and it feels like they just suddenly started aging rapidly. Dad was diagnosed with early Alzheimers, and both of Mom's siblings passed away in the last couple of years. It's hitting me hard."
6."When you get a flashback of a good memory, and you realize that was over 10 years ago."
"When I told my daughter about something I did 24 years ago, I had to pause for a moment."
7."If you choose not to have kids, you may end up losing your friends. I turn 40 this year, and my partner and I don't see many folks these days. Parents like to hang out with other parents. And I don't have a grudge; I totally see the value of playdates, etc., but it can be a little lonely."
8."Remember when you were younger, and you'd ask your dad, 'What's wrong?' and he'd say, 'I don't know, I must've slept funny.' That's you now."
"I'm in my 50s. A while back, I injured my back when I sneezed. It hurt for six months."
9."How much time you wasted in your life trying to make others like you."
10."Time fucking flies."
"High school was just five years (or four in some places), yet it felt like it was super long. Five years ago now feels like it was just the other day."
11."It's really lonely being an adult. I mean, you have friends and coworkers, etc., but it's just incredibly lonely because you only ever have surface-level conversations with most people."
"THIS. I have been trying to make more friends, but it's not easy at this age. I am thankful for the people I do have, but some days are just really lonely."
12."For me, it's that you lose motivation to do things. You think you will always be chasing the newest travels, the best places, the hottest guys, but I've found these things start to become very unimportant later. I also chased relationships, romantic ones especially, but also friendships. I enjoy my alone time more and more, and romantic relationships are absolutely not on my radar anymore. Your wants and needs change!"
13."You will realize that you hate planning meals and making food every single day. It's boring and easy to fall into monotony. But you have to make lunch again and then plan for dinner again, then make dinner again and what you want to eat tomorrow, so you plan for breakfast tomorrow and get up and make breakfast again and then plan for lunch again. I am so tired of planning and making food."
14."Everyone on earth relies on you in your 40s and 50s. A mid-life crisis has nothing to do with you. It's about your kids and your parents and your in-laws all relying on you emotionally, mentally, and financially. It can be exhausting."
15."Adults aren't real. At least not in the way they're viewed when you're a kid. When you're a kid, you can't wait to 'grow up,' but then you do, and you're still you, just older. That voice inside your head doesn't change, but what you see in the mirror does. Only now, you're just older and saddled with bills, stress, and all of life's 'surprises.' On top of this, everyone is winging it — absolutely everyone. Because the idea of order and a civilized society is an illusion, we're all playing by made-up rules and making imaginary money. A one-dollar bill costs just as much to print as a hundred-dollar bill. In short, everyone is just doing whatever until we die."
16."How much it hurts to fall. I fell off the roof of a house as a kid and just got up and walked away. Now, I'm careful when stepping off of a tall curb."
"I'm in my late 40s and have kept reasonably active. I feel like I can still do anything that I could have done when I was 30, but if I hurt myself, it takes way longer to recover."
17."You start to tolerate rough emotional states, such as crippling anxiety. You will still feel it 100%, but somehow, you have learned to just live with it. When younger, the feeling was just unbearable and impossible to go through without it taking an enormous toll on your everyday life. Nobody prepared me for this — the quiet tolerance of inner pain."
18."I'm in my mid-40s. I used to think aging is a mindset, and for the most part, I still do. I also used to think I wouldn't be someone who lamented about aging. I felt I was better than that. Yet here I am, in the last year, bothered by it a lot. It's not that I even look particularly bad or aged, but we are so surrounded by people selling us things, people getting Botox and fillers. It can be defeating."
19."Things like drinking, eating unhealthily, smoking, and spending will catch up. When you're young, you think you're different, or you think that when it does catch up, you'll be old, so who cares? You will care, though. You'll still be you. Those things won't seem like an issue right up to the moment they are. And then it's too late to take them back."
What are some realities about getting older that you believe should be talked about more? Tell us in the comments or fill out this anonymous form.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
