This Woman Stopped Inviting Her Friend To Events After She Routinely Declined Or Tried To Bring Her Child, And People Are Saying She's 100% Justified

Adult friendships can be hard to maintain, especially when your friends become parents, and that's the issue with user No-Rough-3283, who chose not to invite her longtime friend, Millie, to her engagement party because Millie ditched her after becoming a mother.

Here's the full story: "So I have a friend group from college, this is about Millie. Millie married and had a kid about two years ago. The problem is that she always turns down invitations. In the beginning, I was understanding. She is a new parent who just doesn’t have time to meet up.

"Over time, it got tiring, though. I don't understand why it is so difficult to leave to get brunch one day. She has a partner; it shouldn't be difficult to be gone for a few hours. She has missed event after event."

"The times she does appear, she will make a big deal about changing the outing so her baby can join. The last time I saw her was around Christmas."

"So I got engaged and was having a dinner to celebrate. I decided not to invite her. She has turned down so many invitations. I also didn't want to deal with her trying to change the event or bringing the baby."

"We went in circles for a bit, and it turned into an argument. She basically told me that I was being extremely unfair and I wouldn't understand because I was not a parent."

"I told her if she actually cared, she would have shown up to events. A few hours every month shouldn't be that difficult."

People were pretty divided on who was the asshole in this story. "Your event, your choice. Invite who you want. I totally get it," user ampero83 said. "I can't stand the 'I'm a mom' or 'I have kids' mentality because it ends up being a show about them and how they can't do anything."

"Great. You have kids. Now, learn to have a life with them; you didn't make a child by yourself (I understand it's possible, but in most scenarios, it's not)."

This mom agreed. "I'm a mom, and I have four kids, but if I really want to attend something, I'll figure it out."

"Sadly, I have seen this exact level of behavior from many different coworkers. As soon as the baby is born they stopped being their own person and just became mothers," user toffifeeandcoffee said.

"They stopped doing things for themselves, wouldn't let their partner be a parent for an evening to do some self-care, and then started to complain because they got less and less invited."

This user disagreed, saying that maybe Millie wanted to prioritize her family time over having brunch.

"The original poster seems to be ignoring the fact that maybe her friend wants to spend most of her free time with her family instead of with her friends for frivolous things like 'brunch,' which is why she says no. However, she still makes time for important things like Christmas, so she would have made time for an engagement dinner. You're the asshole," user QueenofBnB said.

"If she never comes to brunch, then stop inviting her to brunch. That doesn't mean refusing to invite her to important events if you still want to be her friend," user JonCoqtosten said.

"If you no longer want to be her friend because you feel she is not prioritizing or socializing with you enough over her child, then just tell her that. You chose the passive-aggressive route of not inviting her to an important event that you knew she'd hear about. I'm guessing if you had a child, you'd see things very differently and have different priorities for your time, especially if you and your spouse work during the week. All I know is that if I demanded a few hours every month from all my friends with kids to keep a friendship, I'd no longer have any friends with kids."

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