Melt her Mind

Seduction begins above the shoulders, so her satisfaction may depend on the attention your pay her mind. Even the pinnacle of sex, the orgasm, can you a cognitive process that’s separate from erotic or sexual context, says Dr Barry Komisaruk, co-author of The Science of Orgasm. Here are some brainy ways to arouse her.

Write a sexual script

Co-author an erotic story by text-messaging episode to each other. As you send your episode with a sexual cliff-hanger, she picks up the tale. A 2006 study found that fertile women looking for casual sex found men with creative intelligence more desirable then men with money. So ditch the primal phrases (“I want you so bad”) and use your imagination. And women are tired of typo-ridden booty calls, says sexologist Dr Yvonne Fulbright. “It’s a novel turn-on if you can articulate your passion in a way that engages her.”

Brain effect Studies show found that women have more grey matter dedicated to language then men do. “Anything that plays to her inherent strengths and puts her in the role of director is always going to be hot for her,” says Fulbright.

The key Leave your first message open-ended, such as ‘What would you do if . . .”. When you’re alone together later, play out your script.

Watch and learn

Indie and foreign films are often candid about sex – it’s stealth porn. The artsy context will nullify her inhibitions. See the Independent Film Channel’s 50 Greatest Sex Scenes in Cinema at ifc.com. Try 9 Songs or Mexican film Y Tu Mamá También.

Brain effect “You need to turn off her amygdala, the fear and anxiety part of her brain,” says Fulbright. “A relaxed mind and body allows her sexual response to kick in more fluidly.” Women respond quickly to erotically charged images. In fact, a study by Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis found that their brain’s process erotic images 20 per cent faster than other images. Emotion helps, too. Levels or oxytocin, the chemical that kindles trust and bonding, rise in women after they watch romantic movie clips with supportive husbands or boyfriends, according to University of North Carolina researchers.

The key Don’t be passive. When a hot scene ends, ask her what she’d do differently if she were directing and volunteer to be the male lead.

Solve the sex puzzle

While lounging with the Sunday paper, pose a race to see who can finish a puzzle first. Winner get a sexual favour.

Brain effect Dopamine, one of the neurotransmitters behind arousal, is activated by reward. “Getting her excited in nonsexual ways will translate to a higher likelihood of sexual arousal,” says Dr Daniel Amen, the author of Sex on the Brain.

The key There should be plenty of playful touching and caressing so that by the end you’re both worked up. Nix the trash talking and the victory dance, too. A little competition is good, but a lot can be a turn-off.

Set a musical mood

Covertly load a specially chosen paylist onto her MP3 player.

Brain effect Certain brain regions fire up before sex, and a study found that similar ones become active if she connects emotionally to the tunes. “For women, foreplay is everything that happens in the 24 hours preceding sex,” says Dr Louann Brizendine, a neuropsychiatrist at the University of California at San Francisco, and the author of The Female Brain. “You goal is to build a context foe sex.”

The key Upbeat songs that are harmonious can activate the pleasure centre of her limbic system, according to a study by McGill University in Canada. Organise the songs to mimic the stages of arousal: from playful (Who Let You Go? – The Killers) to passionate (Sweet Disposition – The Temper Trap) to intense (Breathe Me – Sia).