Yahoo Lifestyle Men Are Sharing The Things Women Do On A First Date That Makes A Guy Say, "Nah, Never Happening Again"
I always enjoy hearing people's experiences about singlehood, early dating, and even long-term relationships from either POV, especially men's. As a woman who's often yapping with her friends about these topics (the good, bad, and ugly), I like to play fair and hear what the men have to say about these things, too.
During a recent Reddit scroll, I came across this OP who shared a story of him ditching someone on a first date which prompted the question to his fellow bros, "What was your 'fuck this, I’m out' on a first date?" Here's what he shared:
"In 2012, I was 19 and went on a date with this girl we’ll call 'Kaylee.' She was 18. Kaylee and I talked for about two weeks before I decided to send it and ask her on a date, which I was pumped about because she was down for it.
Fast forward to our date night, when I picked her up from her place, she was absolutely glued to her cellphone. When she got in and I pulled out, I asked her what do you want to listen to? We got a bit of a drive (we went about an hour away from where we lived to dinner). She said whatever, didn’t care, and was still glued to her phone."
The OP continued by writing, "So we get to the restaurant, and I left my phone in my car; I still do it to this day when I go out to eat with someone because I’m there for them, if that makes sense. We get in, get seated, and she’s still face-deep in her cell (for context, this was when Twitter was still big, and she was obsessed with tweeting). After we got our drinks, she finally got off her cell, and we talked for a few minutes. Didn’t last long, once her phone lit up she got right back on it."
"So I sat there in silence and decided yep fuck this. I decided to say something along the lines of 'Can you stay off your phone long enough to have an actual conversation?' and she hit me with 'Uh huh one second.' I was floored.
Our waiter returned and took our orders, but I was done with that date. I excused myself to go to the 'bathroom' when, in actuality, I went to my waiter and asked for the bill. Dude was confused because our food hadn’t come yet, I told the dude I wasn’t feeling it anymore. I told him I’d give him a $50 buck tip if he’d bring her food out and put mine into a to-go box where the hostess was.
Dude was just stoked to make $50 bucks I think, I went back to our table and shocker she was tweeting. A few minutes go by, and the food comes, well hers, and chalked up some BS about 'it’ll be a few more minutes' but gave me the nod that it was by the hostess. So I excused myself again, acted like I was going to the bathroom, got my food, and left. It took her nearly 45 minutes to realize that I had never returned from the bathroom; I was about to pull into my driveway when she texted me, 'Where are you?'" continued the OP.
"I didn’t answer, and a few minutes later, she called, and I answered it, 'Oh, I left, about to pull into my driveway.' It hit her that I legit left; it threw her 100% into a 'nice girl' tantrum. Once that started, I just hung up," the OP added.
That was a doozy! Now here is how the many men in the thread responded with their own stories of first date turnoffs:
1."It happened last year, and it was rather weird, in all honesty. I work as a special ed teacher. I am in my mid 30s, single, no children, I have my time and space. She asked me out. Several times. Last time, I said, let's give it a shot. 45 minutes of that 'date' she spent half that time talking about her children, what they need, how I should care for them and what I should do. Half the time, she ranted about how men are terrible and they are nothing but sex-fueled monsters, and she is sick of all of us. So I basically paid for drinks and said I don't think that would work. Oh the anger."
2."I invited her to the theater and a nice meal, trying to give her some conversation while she was on her phone the whole time. Then, in the subway she sits next to me (still texting) and I can't avoid quickly looking and her phone. She was planning sex with another guy for that same night."
3."In my mid-20s, I connected with a girl on Tinder. We had a few convos, and then I proposed meeting up for coffee or a drink after work. She was interested but suggested trying this restaurant and grabbing dinner instead. Sounded good to me. She immediately ordered two appetizers and two entrees at dinner because she was 'excited to try a few different things.' She spent the entire night talking about her company (almost like a sales pitch) and nothing about herself or any questions for me. I paid the bill without her objection while she boxed up all the leftovers to take home. I didn't hear from her again after that date. I didn't realize til later about the trend of people using dating apps to get free meals. In hindsight, I wish I'd left in the middle of the date, but I was more confused than anything. I definitely had my guard up for my next first dates."
4."This was almost 10 years ago when I lived in Denver. I met a girl at an art festival one weekend. We chatted and hit it off. I asked if she wanted to grab a coffee or a beer one evening that week. We had a few beers at a brewery in my neighborhood, and I thought she was awesome. I was meeting friends later that night at a concert, so I asked this girl if she wanted to join us. She said yes and came to my house to hang out for an hour or so before we were going to leave for the show. While we were on my back deck, she casually pulled out a meth pipe and asked if I 'got down.' I never noped out of something so fast in my life. She was an art student at a really good college in Denver. She seemed so normal and so nice the whole day until that happened. Wild!"
5."She told me some friends were coming over with cocaine, and since they didn't know me, I needed to leave."
6."It wasn't even a date, but she started an altercation with a drunk guy at the train station and wouldn't let it go. The guy started looking at me (as the only other man around), and she continued even after I said she should drop it, that it was pointless. She nearly got ME into a fight with some random dude. She was otherwise seemingly nice and pleasant, but that was an immediate, fuck no. Even as friends."
7."She was awful to the wait staff and that's just insufferable to be around."
8."She invited me back to her place, where she lived with her retired mom, to smoke weed with her friends who were already there waiting for her. I mean, that could have been a good time, a bad time, or just a time, but 'come back to my place to smoke weed with my mom and friends within an hour of meeting me' just threw a lot of weird flags. We split ways, and neither of us tried to schedule a second date."
9."This was during college, like eight years ago. It wasn't a date but a hangout in a public place. She told me she didn't wash her hair or body with anything but water and only showered once a week. I stayed around for the required hour and then made up an excuse that I had homework. She invited me back to her dorm, but I was so out."
10."Went to a nice restaurant, and she ordered chicken wings. She bit into each of them once, right down the middle, and threw the rest away. I would say there’s about 40%-60% meat left on each wing. I was disgusted. As a matter of fact, I was emotionally scarred from watching that. Who disrespects chicken wings like that? Such waste. I still can’t get over it to this day. I might consider therapy, actually."
11."I picked her up at work, and she was already drunk (they were closed at that point and having after-work beers). It should've been red flag number one. But, no, I figured she was as nervous as I was and maybe had too many drinks to calm the nerves. Figure I might have some drinks, too (since we had previously agreed on a bar). So I parked the car near a subway, and we took the subway. I get to the bar and ask her what she's having (a gin and tonic). I order a pint of beer. Our drinks arrive. I take a sip of my beer. She chugs her gin and tonic in one skilled slug and orders another."
"I'm finishing my beer, and we're going to walk around and find a restaurant because she's gonna be slammed, and maybe food will help. I cover the bill, and we get to walking. She's hammered. I extend the walk, hoping she stabilizes and I don't get embarrassed in a restaurant.
At some point, she nearly got in a fight with a person who was homeless, and that's when I decided the date was over. She is drunk, so I figured I would get her home. In the subway station, she can't find her access card. She searches frantically and, at some point, starts accusing me of having stolen it. Loud, angry accusations, a total scene. Then she finds it. We take the metro in silence. I was about to be dumb enough to still offer her a ride home. But she wanted to hit another bar. I left and let her continue her night on her own."
12."On a second date with a girl, I went to her house to pick her up. She was watching a friend's dog — she claimed her dog passed recently. I am obsessed with dogs, so I was happy to meet him. Super sweet older golden. We walked him, and she kept yanking him and not letting him smell. She would yell at him if he pulled her to smell something. It really rubbed me the wrong way. I could see her controlling and potentially abusive/narcissistic behavior that I would see come out toward ME once any honeymoon phase wore off. Even if not, just how she had no patience for and treated a dog was such a boner killer. I walked back to her pad and made some excuse that I had to suddenly go."
13."She showed up with her two kids and the babysitter. They would sit at another table, and naturally, they expected me to pay. I left immediately."
Do you have a bad first date story? If so, share it with me in the comments below!
