Yahoo Lifestyle 18 Ridiculously False Rumors People Heard About Themselves And Had To Awkwardly Dispel
We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the wildest rumors they've ever heard about themselves. From a wild hookup that never happened to an alleged exorcism, here are the rumors people revealed:
1."I moved to a new state with my husband and young daughter in the late '90s to be closer to family. I was a middle school English teacher, and one day, I had to borrow my brother's car, a high-end luxury SUV that was a company car. A few days later, we had conferences, and several students' parents were inquiring about my husband, the professional NHL player. I was so confused. My husband was a real estate agent! Then, a few days later, the principal called me in, hoping I could get my 'husband' to come in to give an assembly to the students. Several of my students saw me get out of the car, and since my last name was the same as that of an NHL player from the area, they assumed I was married to him! One of their older brothers even said he had seen me at the games and that I didn't even need to teach; I just did it to feel normal."
—Anonymous
2."When I was a senior in high school, my mom died, and I didn't handle it well. I ran from Indiana to my best friend in Florida. When I returned to Indiana, I heard rumors that I went to Florida for an exorcism. According to the rumor, the only priest in the US who could perform it was too old and frail to travel, so I had to go to him."
3."I'm under five feet tall, but I've always been pretty well endowed. In college, I drunkenly joked with a frat boy that my father bought me breast implants as a graduation gift. In my senior year, my cousin was dating a friend of mine who was in another frat. One night, they were together in bed, and he asked her, 'Random, but is it true that her boobs are fake? Because they look real, but we're not sure. She's so short that they can't possibly be real.' My cousin was offended for two reasons: the first was that the frat guys were openly discussing my body, and the second, he was thinking about my breasts while in bed with her! She set him straight, and they didn't date long after that. It was amusing, but my body is the least interesting thing about me!"
—Anonymous
4."That I was pregnant with a married man's baby. I have never been nor will ever be pregnant — and certainly not with anyone other than my husband."
5."When I started high school, I attended a Sydney all-girls school. Then, in year eight, I changed schools. As an orphan, I was used to enrolling myself at new schools, and the new school was co-ed. Some students noticed I was not in the company of an adult when enrolling. So, the gossip that flew around the school was that I was an undercover police officer. I was 14 years old."
—Anonymous
6."While in college (a private Bible college), three other students (two girls and a guy) and I decided to go for a drive to the beach. I was the DD; they were drunk. We got to the beach, and I decided to hang back, so they went on their way. They came back 30 minutes later, and we returned to the dorms and went to bed. I woke up the next day and went to class. As I was leaving, my dormmate pulled me aside and said she had heard about what had happened last night between me, one of the girls, and the guy. I was confused at this point and asked her what she heard. She then tells me she heard that we all hooked up at a lifeguard tower, and I was driving drunk with them, and that this guy's best friend (who is a girl) was pissed, and she was the one telling everyone. I told my dormmate that it never happened and shared the whole story. To this day, his best friend hates me for something I didn't even do."
7."In high school, it was rumored that I was not only pregnant but pregnant with conjoined twins. Oh, and that I did not know who the father was. My brother jokingly started this rumor during my first year. Fast forward to late in my junior year, and someone I'd never met asked me if it was true that I was pregnant with conjoined twins. I was pretty impressed that a rumor about me lasted that long. I'll take it."
—Anonymous
8."In sixth grade, I caught a bad stomach bug and was out of school for a week. I came back on Monday to classmates who were very surprised. When I ran into my friends, they were equally surprised and relieved. I walked into homeroom, and some kid blurted out, 'I thought you died!' A rumor that I'd died had been growing in the halls for days. People thought it was being covered up since there was no announcement, and the teachers didn't mention it. Of course, if they had, they would have found out I was home puking my guts out, but I guess that would have been folded into the conspiracy."
9."I got a random call from my cousin one day freaking out because my grandmother had told her that I was in intensive care at the hospital with cancer. I was sick at the time, which my whole family knew about, but it was nothing serious. She had the whole family worried sick for no reason. To this day, I have no idea why she thought that and told everyone."
10."That I was wearing a wig. I don't know where people got the idea I was bald. I was 14. Many people pulled on my hair to 'de-wig' me. People got over it in a week when my hair, which is, in fact, attached to my scalp, wasn't coming off."
—Anonymous
11."That my stepfather was not only married but also had a daughter in the US (we are Brazilian and live in Brazil). This person knew my stepfather used to be married to an American woman, but it was a long-distance relationship. When he met my mother, he had already been divorced for a while because he didn't want to move to the US, and the ex didn't want to move to Brazil. He also never had children. I don't know why my ex-friend thought that this lie would make me a bad person to our mutual friends. She even said that my mother and I found out the truth and were very upset! She told a lot of lies about me (she was angry because my life didn't revolve around her, and I was slowly moving away from her toxic friendship), but this one was the most bizarre! I mean, what's the point?"
"In the end, people felt sorry for my mother and asked me if I was okay. I started to see this ex-friend differently because she wanted to make me a villain because, according to her, a guy lied to my mother. Later, people found out she was lying about it. People are unbelievable."
—Anonymous
12."After several years of dating, it was widely believed that I made an ex shave his junk all the time. It came up one night when he and his friends were drinking. I've never asked anyone to shave anything."
13."My husband's best friend's wife (let's call her 'Amanda') once started a rumor that my hair was falling out. My husband was hanging out with a group of friends and their significant others. I wasn't there, but I believe about seven of them were together. They were discussing weddings, and Amanda asked my husband, 'Wasn't your wife so stressed that her hair began to fall out?' He was like, 'What are you talking about? No, that never happened.' She said, 'No, it did. Your wife told me.' He came home that night, and I had NO IDEA what she was talking about. That never happened!"
"He ended up confronting her and his friend (her husband). His friend said, 'Oh, maybe [your wife] said she was pulling her hair out, and Amanda misunderstood.' I have no idea. But, now, every time I say the phrase 'pulling my hair out' (not that I say it often), I always think, 'Is this person going to think this is literal?'"
—Anonymous
14."In high school, some ex-friends started a slam campaign against me. I don't know why, but I got some hilarious rumors from it. The weirdest was that I drew furry p*rn. I can't even make a proportional stick figure. I had a good laugh imagining them coming up with that. But seriously, don't spread rumors about people. It is incredibly hurtful and can ruin lives. I shared a funny story, but I also have stories that would make the Grinch cry. And if people are spreading rumors about you, remember, it's not your fault. The rumors they spread are a reflection of their own fears and insecurities. It doesn't make it okay, but understanding that can help you keep your head."
15."That I was a 14-year-old Satanist (spoiler alert: I wasn't). My best friend-turned-bully in junior high said that God spoke to her brother and told him I was a Satan worshipper and she couldn't be friends with me anymore. She spread this around the whole school. I had a kid come up to me in gym class and tell me he hated my religion. I responded, confused, saying that I wasn't religious. He said, 'Well, I guess I just hate YOU.' Funny how nobody questioned the fact that her brother had a direct line to God, but sure, I'm a Satan worshipper for being a teeny bit spooky. In retrospect, I hope he got help for his undiagnosed mental illness."
—Anonymous
16."I had a long-distance BFF from 18 to 22 who friend-dumped me by ghosting me. Years later, I learned from a mutual friend that she thought I was in love with her. Girl, just because I tried to stop you from embarrassing yourself with a man and I actually did things that showed I cared for you as a person does not mean I was in love with your weird, ugly ass."
17."That I was Russian? I thought everyone was joking, but several people genuinely asked about my Russian heritage, and I was like, huh??? Where did this even come from? Turns out it stemmed from my ability to drink vodka. How stereotypical."
18.And: "I used to hang out at a local karaoke joint and made friends with most of the regulars over time. I started hanging with some awesome ladies who always sat at the far end of the bar. Apparently, at some point previously, a guy who used to hang down at that end of the bar (with the folks who just listened to the karaoke and didn't participate) also worked in the same building as me. Well, one night (long after he stopped hanging out there), the ladies started telling me the stories this guy used to tell them about me. I was confused because I didn't even know who they were talking about, but he told them I was practically stalking him at work and besotted with him. He said I constantly showed up where he was and hung out near him in the cafeteria. Maybe he was trying to seem desirable to them (I don't know)."
"I busted out laughing. There was not one person in my work building to whom I was even remotely attracted. To this day, I still can't place anyone I had ever seen regularly that matched his description. After the initial hilarity subsided, I got super creeped out that some dude was in the same place as me and never said a word to me but told all this BS to anyone who would listen. Yikes."
—Anonymous
Has anyone ever started a bizarre and untrue rumor about you? What was it? Tell us in the comments or share anonymously using this form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
