Yahoo Lifestyle Men Are Sharing How They Know When It's Time To Leave A Serious Relationship, And I'm Sorry, But This Advice Is More Mature Than I Expected
When you feel a pit in your stomach, knowing your relationship isn't serving you anymore and maybe you're just not with the right person, it's a very difficult thing to navigate. So much so that a Redditor turned to the r/AskMen community to ask, "How do you know when it’s time to leave a serious relationship?" The many responses hopefully gave this user the answers they were looking for.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
1."I ask myself if I could be happy with this person forever. 'Am I waiting for them to change?' If I wait for them to change, I'm relying on something I can't control. I'll become resentful, and they'll resent my attempts to change them. At that point, I leave. They can change or not, but I am in control of my happiness. I can look for someone who makes me happy."
2."Daydreaming about being single and how less stressed you’d be."
3."If you prefer to be alone rather than in her company, it's time."
4."When the thought of seeing them brings you more dread than joy — it's time to move on."
5."When you are driving home from work, do you ever say to yourself 'Maybe I should take the long way, so I can enjoy a few more minutes of peace before i get home and get the wrath?' That’s when I knew."
6."When you are not respected, and either side does not give the relationship priority."
7."When you're questioning why you're still in it. It may be about the same time you find yourself asking, 'Where did the person I was dating go?'"
8."I would also say that sometimes people just come into our lives to teach us something. Once the lesson ends, you feel stuck repeating the same patterns, and it's time to move on to the next lesson. It sounds a bit mystical, but I've thought about all my previous relationships, and it applies."
9."When your effort no longer matters."
10."It's so hard to leave a serious relationship. I was never married, but I've been in three long-term relationships I saw a future with, and I never knew if I was doing the right thing. Looking back, the common theme was that there was love and a common vision of the future, but there wasn't enough compatibility. It wasn't until I dated more that I realized what else I needed to be in a happy, thriving relationship. My first long-term relationship lacked care and kindness, my second lacked communication and playfulness, and my third lacked trust."
"Personally, I think most relationships are meant to teach us about ourselves, not to last. Then, eventually, you will meet someone who works with you through the hard stuff instead of against you. If you truly feel like you've done everything you can, you cannot do much more. If you're meant to be together, you'll find your way back with a new perspective."
11."When you're defeated and think life is easier with them no longer in your life. Basically, what you've described."
12."When you have more bad days than good. When you have nonstop fights, and it seems like the two of you just can’t get over what’s gone bad and put it behind you, it’s time to move on."
13."For the time you're with her, try to evaluate what percentage of the time you're happy or neutral and what percentage of the time you're unhappy or annoyed. You get to decide what 'acceptable' looks like, but if it's below 50% good on most days, I would advise you to get out. Something like 70% good might be tolerable but would merit improvement. Nobody should expect 100%. Again, you get to set your own standards here, but having the information laid out like this is good."
14."When it no longer serves you, and it leaves you feeling more drained than fulfilled."
15."When respect, trust, and friendship are gone. Love isn’t enough."
16."I should have left my last relationship years before it actually ended. It ended with her cheating on me. I understand the difficulty of actually leaving. I’ve always been the kind of person who will try to make things work no matter what, but most times, it is simply not worth it. Your time is precious, and you should put yourself in places where you can grow as a person. If you are constantly exhausted dealing with a loved one, that personal growth will be completely abysmal."
Do you have any words of wisdom to share? If so, share it with me in the comments below!
