Married At First Sight's Selina Chhaur tell-all interview

Married At First Sight's Selina reveals what really happened when Cody broke up with her.

Video transcript

SELINA CHHAUR: But-- and also--

LACHIAN GUERTIN: Yeah?

SELINA CHHAUR: At home stays, I did find out that he only applied for the show because he lost the bet at the gym.

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LACHIAN GUERTIN: What happened in the final few episodes? Like, there were plenty of tears. Let's start back at final vows. So you and Cody commit to each other. What happens between then and the reunion?

SELINA CHHAUR: After that, he made the plans to have me spend Christmas with his family and meet his 94-year-old grandma.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: But a big step as well to meet the whole family at Christmas.

SELINA CHHAUR: But especially like grandma.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: Yeah.

SELINA CHHAUR: Like, you know-- like, that-- that's huge. Like, I don't know. I just-- to me, especially in my culture anyway and I'm sure in a lot of others, like, you don't bring home someone especially to meet grandma. Like she's 94. She's like the old lady from Titanic.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: [LAUGHS]

SELINA CHHAUR: We spent so much time with his friends, his family over December. And then, all of a sudden, he was the one that said, look, leading up to a reunion now I really want to start making plans for the future. And again, to me, I was like, wow, this is massive for Cody. Let's keep doing long distance and then you move to Sydney and move in with me, not to that house but the house that we had dinner at his mom's house. So we would be moving into that house.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: What happens at the reunion then? Like, you're fully-- is everything still on the same page when you're walking in and everything's good then?

SELINA CHHAUR: Yeah, I thought everything was fine. Everything was sweet. You know, he was a little bit standoffish when the crew came in. And I was like, oh, no, not this again. And I just thought, again, when you care about someone and you love them, you make excuses. And I thought, OK, maybe it's because the cameras are around us. It's not just YouTube. There's like five other people in the room with you.

And the producer-- the producer obviously wanted to portray like, you guys are together now, guys. Like, come on. Let's show them like-- how about, Cody, get up and give her a kiss. And he just kept making like narky comments like, oh. And I'm like, oh. Like, that is gut wrenching. And there's like four other guys in the room. And I'm like, why are you acting like this?

And then, again, I let that go. I'm like, maybe I'm just reading too much into things. I went to the dinner. We walked in. And obviously, you know, he grabbed my hand then, which I notice is a pattern. He seems to always show affection or some kind of physical touch when there's other people around. But when it's just us two, he's like, hmm.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: And was it like that like the standoffish behavior over the Christmas break and all of that or was it when the cameras started coming back into play that something switched?

SELINA CHHAUR: I can't really go into too much detail. But like, for me, if you haven't seen your partner in a week or two, I would be jumping their guns. Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, there wasn't any like intimacy. And I thought, OK, like, we'll ease into it. But then, when we walked in to the reunion, like, he held my hand then. And we all walked in and said we're going to move in together.

We spent Christmas together. We just told them like, you know, everything that we've been up to. And everyone's like, wow, so you guys are like legit. Like, you guys are official. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And everything was great. But then, I noticed during dinner, if you actually watched the whole clip, like he just kept literally like blocking me out with his arms. Like, normally, he'd have his like, you know-- like you'd have your arm on the chair around your partner.

But, yeah, he was just very like standoffish. And I just got weird. I was trying to like nestle my way in. But he just even more-- like the more I was doing that, the more like he was just kind of like trying to block me. After dinner finished, the driver came and picked us up. And we were in the car. There was no one around. There were no cameras around. So I went and placed my hand on his.

And then he just had this weird knee jerk reaction. He was like, oh, and just made a really like just a not nice sound. So for him to flinch like that and make that sound, I was a bit like, oh, is everything OK? We're a couple. We're planning on moving in together. Like, what-- do you know what I mean?

LACHIAN GUERTIN: Yeah.

SELINA CHHAUR: Yeah, and he just said I just don't want to. And he yelled at me. And that's like he doesn't normally do that. I'm like, oh my god, what's going on?

LACHIAN GUERTIN: So were there any, like, fights or any discussions or anything or was it mainly just like the physical touch and that kind of connection?

SELINA CHHAUR: It's just literally what you saw throughout the whole experiment. It's him. He just goes hot and cold. And I'm constantly having to walk on eggshells and gauge like, am I going to get nice Cody today, affectionate Cody, or am I going to get cold Cody? And I just felt like I could never step out of line, because if I did, he would give me the cold shoulder.

It was a really-- it's a really bizarre thing to explain. And then he will flick it on me if I ever were to bring it up and say, this is how I'm feeling. He would be like, oh, well, I could say the same thing about you. It's just gaslighting. But to him, that was like, oh, see what you're doing? Like, I don't know. It was always my fault.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: Damn.

SELINA CHHAUR: So he would classify-- that time that he was sitting there eating his yogurt and I just said, look, that day, I just needed a hug. And he's literally sitting there going, look, we're literally like basically in an argument like this and you ask me for a hug. Like, no. But he classifies those moments as fights whereas I, to me, that's a discussion. That's not a fight.

That's just me trying to open up and tell you my needs because that's what you do in a relationship.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: So that night, after filming the dinner party, what is that discussion like when it comes to the point of let's call it quits?

SELINA CHHAUR: I asked him if it was that bad holding my hand. And he said, yeah, I just don't want to. And then typical Cody, just out of nowhere, like he just goes, yeah, so, like, I'm just going to call it. I'm like, what do you mean you're calling it? Calling what? He's like, yeah, so, yeah, I've decided, yeah, we're just going to break up. I'm ending it.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: Just like that?

SELINA CHHAUR: And just like that.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: So then what do you even say to that?

SELINA CHHAUR: I took it as if I've done something wrong. So then, I was like, what have I done? Is there anything I can do? Like, did I say something? Did I do something? And it's awful now thinking back. I can't believe I did that. Like, the whole time, I felt like I was going crazy. I was the problem. But that's what it-- like, that's what people like Cody do. Like, it's so toxic.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: So did you tell anyone or was it just we'll just announce it on the couch?

SELINA CHHAUR: Yeah, it was all announced on the couch. He was very, like, you know, like, I'll support you, like, whatever you want to say. If you want to just go like the next day and pretend we're still together, I'm fine with that. But, you know., I'll leave that up you. I'll-- and it was like, again, I had this weird cycle within a few hours leading up to the final reunion of him just like flicking and back and forth.

And oh, look, I still don't know if I've made the right decision. Like, let's just ride out the next day. If we're meant to be, we'll find our way back to each other. So that's why I didn't say anything to anyone because I was just in turmoil and pure confusion because even if you listen to five seconds of what comes out of this man's mouth, it's so confusing.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: People are asking why didn't he just wait 24 hours until filming had wrapped? Why did he have to do it at the reunion? Is that something that you thought about as well?

SELINA CHHAUR: Honestly, I feel like he faked it and it got to the point where you can't fake it anymore and like, even just the thought of me holding his hand was just like, oh, like he was done.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: Do you reckon he faked the relationship just the whole time?

SELINA CHHAUR: Like, you put in the bare minimum effort. Like, he-- like, it got to the point where he like he didn't even want to, like, pay for Ubers. Like, I was paying for everything. And I was putting in all the effort. I was paying for the flights to go see him. I paid for his flight to come to Adelaide. Like, he was putting in the bare minimum.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: I've also seen a lot of people say-- they pointed out how he was the one at the dinner party to bring up Dom's nude photo. And so a lot of people have accused him of just doing things for air time. Do you think he was considering air time and popularity throughout the experiment?

SELINA CHHAUR: So, yeah, to me, I think he thought this whole thing was going to play out a whole different way. He thought he was going to come across just a happy go lucky guy and everything was just fun and banter. But it wasn't. He treated me like a second grade citizen. Like-- like, what he did and what he was saying was just so like wrong and just like disrespectful.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: I'm guessing there was obviously a lot that we didn't see as well. Like, were there some extreme moments that fans didn't see on camera?

SELINA CHHAUR: Um, it was just more the lack of effort. Like, even just bringing up home stays, you know, like the watermelon poster, like not even cleaning the house and having food in the fridge. I don't care about the Batman shakes so much. But like, oh, just like, I don't know. You have like clean towels and like, um, you know, he likes the swamps too.

Like, everything was just like a joke. Like, just something you would do with like one of the boys like for fun. But I'm your partner. Like, are you trying to make it that bad so that I would break up with you so you won't have to do it. Like, it was just very like-- what do you-- like--

LACHIAN GUERTIN: Yeah.

SELINA CHHAUR: The whole thing is a joke. And he thought everything was going to come out and come across funny.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: Hmm, then what happened--

SELINA CHHAUR: Oh, and also, at home stays, I did find out that he only applied for the show because he lost the bet at the gym with one of the boys.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: What? How did that even come out? How did you learn about that?

SELINA CHHAUR: So we were sitting down. And this was being filmed. It didn't get shown. But his housemate, Zach, said, did you ever-- did Cody ever tell you why he applied for the show? And I was like, oh, well, I thought he came on to find me. [LAUGHS] And then he was like, yeah, no, he actually lost the bet at the gym.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: And what did he-- what did he say to that?

SELINA CHHAUR: He laughed it off like he does always. He just laughs everything off and like he's-- you know, yeah.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: And then what happens after you filmed the breakup announcement at the reunion. Do you guys keep talking it over after that?

SELINA CHHAUR: Basically, there was this whole back and forth conversation and he ended it saying, like, look, if we're meant to be, we'll find our way back to each other. Again, you're trying to give me false hope when inside that this isn't going to go anywhere. And then he requested to have two weeks of no contact. And he said, I'll call you though the day before or the day of the first episode airing.

And then that conversation lasted for three hours. And it was the same. It was coded going around in circles. And then, at the end, it was like, oh, actually, I'm coming down in two weeks in Adelaide. And?

LACHIAN GUERTIN: So this is January? January?

SELINA CHHAUR: So now, this is like the day of the first episode airing. So he said he was going to come down. And I just said, look, Cody, like, I wish you nothing but the best. But I don't think it's a good idea to keep in contact. Like, what's the point? Like, I just knew this guy was going to spin me and have me around in circles just like he's done from day one. And then he's like, oh, but, so you don't want me to contact you in two weeks when I'm down in Adelaide?

I'm like, no. No, dude. So he came and he actually did message me. And I just said, look, I gave him a chance because I thought maybe after seeing a few episodes and seeing how he treated me, maybe he would come to some kind of realization or something or even just like just say sorry. And then I just said, look, Cody, if you've got something to say or something's changed, I'm happy to see you.

Otherwise, I just don't think it's a good idea to see each other. And then he was like, oh, well, yeah, I've got nothing to say. Nothing's changed at all. I was just letting you know I was in town. But I'll always have the time for you, though, because how much I care about you.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: Yeah, he's--

SELINA CHHAUR: Yeah.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: I don't know if you've been seeing on social media, but he posted on Tuesday. His caption was, there won't come a day where I no longer care or have time with this beautiful girl. Like, what is your reaction when you see stuff like that?

SELINA CHHAUR: It's absolute crap. It's all fake because he had the chance to see me, to make things right, and to even just build a friendship out of this in the end. And he didn't. He didn't take any ownership. He said he had nothing to say to me. But now, all of a sudden, you want to go on Daily Mail. You want to go on your Instagram. And you want to write about how much you care about me and how much I am compassionate and a selfless person.

You've never even said any of that. One of the last things he said to me was I don't like you because you're a people pleaser and you remind me too much of my mom. And that puts me on edge. Like, it's all fake. Because when he--

LACHIAN GUERTIN: I'm sorry. Did he say that to you, like, during filming or was that like--

SELINA CHHAUR: So when I had asked him, like, is there anything I can do, because I never want to walk away from a relationship if I've done something because I genuinely thought I had done something to sabotage this. And he said, oh, the only advice I can give you moving forwards is that you're just a people pleaser and you're too nice. Um, yeah, and then when he did come to Adelaide and I said, look, I don't-- I wish you well but it's not a good idea to keep in touch, then I find out that he's gone and gotten the paparazzi like Daily Mail to follow him around Adelaide and get pap shots.

So I'm like you've just shown me your true colors. You could have had a chance to catch up with me behind closed doors to make things right, but instead, you've gone out and your little pink budgie smugglers to my local beach, which you used to pay out all the time because it's nothing compared to the northern beaches. Yeah, get pap photos and send your articles.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: Since that trip in Adelaide, have you had any contact with him then?

SELINA CHHAUR: Absolutely not. Absolutely-- that has just shown me in a million words what this man, if you can call him that, is about and is like. Like, I-- I'm just the type of person, when you've shown me that I'm a disposable piece of shit and I've done nothing but show you kindness, respect, and loyalty, like, sorry. Once you've shut that door, like, that-- that's done. There's no-- this isn't a cat flap thing that you can come in and out anytime you want.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: I'm so glad you're self-aware in that though. Like, you know that what he said wasn't like a true representation of you. It doesn't affect you and your ability to give love and all of that. Like, it's just a reflection of him.

SELINA CHHAUR: What's the best thing that's come out of this is just like, you know, I went into this thinking I was damaged goods, because I'm 34 this year. And I've been single for like-- it's creeping up to almost 10 years now. And you do get to a point when, in life, when you're like, is it me? Like, am I doing something wrong? Like, what is it? Yeah, going into this whole thing.

I wanted to, like, learn about relationships and whether I was doing anything wrong. So I was more than happy to get called out by the experts if I was. And Mel did. But I-- sorry, Mel, I love you. But I, still, to this day, do not understand what she was trying to tell me that night.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: I think we all agree. I think we all agree with you that we were all confused at why Mel was going up at you rather than Cody. It was a very strange night.

SELINA CHHAUR: That Is an example of why I stayed for so long. So when I tried to leave early on, that was me knowing my truth and my value. And, you know, I knew my basic human needs weren't being met. I knew he wasn't showing any interest or putting in any effort to get to know me as a human being. Like, he completely rode me off from the start because I wasn't, I quote, "something he was used to."

So when Mel said that to me, I-- oh, my well just short. I genuinely thought I was doing something wrong and that people were seeing something that I wasn't. So I internalized that. And that's why I stayed because she was like, if you want this to work, you need to let go of the past and you need to take accountability. I was like, [MIMICS CRYING] OK.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: If the experts tell you to do something, of course, you want to follow that or increase your chance.

SELINA CHHAUR: Yeah, that's why I was there. I was willing to learn and willing to do anything to make this relationship work. And I think people have really seen that.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: I know you said on the show that you were getting towards love for Cody. Would you say that you're over him now? Are there still feelings there?

SELINA CHHAUR: Yeah, I can confidently say there were no more feelings there. I think I am the type of person that when I care about someone and when you're in my tribe, I will always give my all to you, and I will always see the best in you. So that's what I did with Cody. I kind of blocked out all the negatives. So watching that whole season, I was like, wow, I really needed to see that to really see, like, my work and how poorly he treated me.

Like, no one's-- no one's cats even deserves to be treated the way that Cody treated me, honestly.

LACHIAN GUERTIN: Well, I know that Australia is all on your side. Like, everyone is Team Selena.

SELINA CHHAUR: Yeah, I'm sorry humbled and grateful for everyone's support. Like, everywhere I've gone, like everyone's just been so kind. And like, yeah, it means a lot.

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