“Love Is Blind”'s Jessica Batten Gets Candid About How Motherhood Has Changed Her: 'Left Me a Little Frozen'

The Netflix show alum welcomed her first baby with husband Benjamin McGrath last June

<p>Jessica Batten McGrath/Instagram</p> Jessica Batten

Jessica Batten McGrath/Instagram

Jessica Batten

Jessica Batten is getting honest about how becoming a mother has changed her life.

In an emotional Instagram post, the Love Is Blind star shared how welcoming her son Dax, whom she shares with husband Benjamin McGrath, has completely altered the way she lives. Sharing a few photos of herself and her baby son, Batten explained how things have changed for her in a lengthy caption.

"I’m sorry I have been gone. I’ve never written anything vulnerable here but I’d like to share my quasi-review of becoming a Mom, almost 11 months in," she began.

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Related: 'Love Is Blind' Star Jessica Batten Welcomes First Baby with Husband Benjamin McGrath

"Motherhood has been different than I expected or planned for - all those years. It has frankly been more, so much more in every way than I ever knew," Batten continued. "In fact, it’s boggled my mind that I had such a lack of understanding about all of this - and the experience of becoming someone’s entire world."

Although she shared that the "magic" of motherhood can't be underestimated, Batten went on to share that her time with Dax has put into question many things that she thought were true about life and herself.

"The juxtaposition of processing life then vs. now has left me a little frozen," she wrote. "Maybe it’s by design because with him, I am in the most present state of mind, never more in the moment, in a little magical bubble that I could stay in forever."

"But I realize l haven’t shown up in other ways like I did before," Batten continued. "I am truly sorry for the missed events, texts, calls. Not sharing. It has torn me apart sitting and thinking about how I've let people down the same way I've felt let down at times in the past."

Saying that she feels hesitant to re-engage because of her shame, Batten added that she's been working hard to maintain the person she worked so hard to be.

"Suddenly the world as I knew it changed and I have to admit that I did too; I am learning to adapt and thrive here in this new existence. I've never been happier — or had more questions — because the inescapable truth is I almost missed out on all of it."

Despite all these feelings, Batten said she is excited to be back online and sharing her life, thanking her husband and her family.

In the comments, Batten received support from several other Love Is Blind alums.

"Heartwarming to see you thrive as a mom. You don't owe anyone an apology for putting your needs and family first 💙," Nick Thompson wrote.

"Love you ❤️," added Shaina Hurley.

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