John Lithgow — Who Has Survived Cancer 3 Times — Hopes for a 'Good Ending' that 'No One Grieves Over'

John Lithgow shared his thoughts about death — and how he’d like to be remembered — after experiencing the death of a close friend.

The six-time Emmy winner, 79, who has survived cancer three times, shared that the loss of his friend and colleague, Doug McGrath, impacted his view of death, on Rachel Martin’s podcast Wild Card.

“I directed that wonderful New Yorker, Doug McGrath, in his one-man show that he'd written for himself,” Lithgow shared on the Dec. 5 episode of the podcast. “And he didn't show up at the theater one night because, in his office by himself at about four in the afternoon, he'd lain down, had a heart attack and died at age 64.”

“It was such a traumatic thing to experience. He died painlessly and almost courteously. He didn't make anybody else suffer over his death except over the fact that it had happened like that,” the 3rd Rock from the Sun alum said.

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“Did that change anything for you and how you think of it? The endness of it all?” Martin asked, prompting Lithgow to reply, “I was startled at how soon I was able to absorb it. It's just having happened and the new reality. This lovely man, who was quite a dear friend having worked together so closely, he was simply gone, and I knew that he was gone.”

“Did it make you any more or less comfortable with your own demise?” Martin asked.

“More,” Lithgow said. “I just know it's coming. It's coming, and I think the best thing is to have a gracious ending.”

As Lithgow, who had one of the most famous final episodes in TV history with his departure from Dexter said, “I calculate my exit from any film or television or stage play, and I always wanna have a good ending. Well, I wanna have a good ending to my life, too — that that no one grieves over, and is appropriate.”

“Well, people will grieve,” Martin said.

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“I can't believe I'm talking about these things,” Lithgow said, chuckling. “I've had three cancers in my life. First in 1988, 2004, and then only a couple of years ago. In every case, dealt with immediately and put an end to — you know, melanomas that could be removed, detected early and removed. A prostatectomy that eliminated prostate cancer from my life.”

“But I'm almost glad that I had the shocking experience of being told you have a malignancy,” he said, sharing that the experiences forced him “to have realistically contemplated, ‘Oh my God, this might really — I might die of this.’ “

“I think it was a useful experience to have," he explained, "in terms of just putting your whole life into perspective."

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