I've Been In A Relationship For 8 Years And Still Don't Know If I Want To Get Married — So I Made A Pros And Cons List

Hi, I'm Morgan! I'm a 30-year-old woman, and I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for eight years.

Two people, a woman with long curly hair and a man with short hair and a beard, smile while standing on a city street
Morgan Sloss

Aside from people asking when we'll have kids (never as we're childfree), the number one question we always hear is when we'll get married. But we've already lived together for seven years, raised a puppy-son we adore, and built a life together. Do we even need to get married? I'm still undecided.

A man and a woman sit on rocks at a beach, with the man holding a large dog on a leash. The woman wears a white dress and the man is casually dressed

Fortunately, my boyfriend fully supports me in whatever I choose, so he's not stressed either way.

@morgantaylorphoto / Morgan Sloss

So, I made a list of the pros and cons of marriage to help me with my decision:

Disclaimer: If you're happily married, that's awesome! If you're happily unmarried, that's also great! These are just my personal thoughts for my own relationship.

1.Pro: I'd love to have a wedding.

A joyful couple, bride in a white dress and groom in a blue suit, surrounded by guests throwing flower petals, celebrating their wedding day outdoors

2.Con: Weddings are EXPENSIVE.

Two men in suits raise their hands in celebration as they walk down an aisle at an outdoor event surrounded by clapping guests

3.Pro: I could add my boyfriend to my healthcare plan.

A doctor in a white coat shows a patient in a casual shirt a document, both smiling and discussing the contents, in a professional medical setting

4.Con: The historical context of marriage leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

A bride in a wedding dress walks down the aisle with a man in a suit, likely her father, in an outdoor ceremony setting

5.Pro: It can be a good financial decision.

Two people depositing a coin into a piggy bank, illustrating savings and financial planning

6.Con: Marriage means giving financial control away.

A woman is standing indoors, gazing out of a window. She is casually dressed, wearing a light-colored top and a cardigan. The background shows a dining table and modern furnishings

7.Pro: We'd be able to make medical decisions for each other.

Person lying in a hospital bed, arm visible with an IV drip attached. Picture highlights the importance of health in professional life

Hospitals consider spouses to be next of kin. If we got married, it would be a relief to know my boyfriend would make the medical decisions were I ever in some horrible accident or got super sick.

Wutwhanfoto / Getty Images

8.Con: Divorce seems really, really hard.

Silhouette of a person leaning against a wall, seemingly in a moment of stress or contemplation, in a dimly lit room

9.Pro: I would have beautiful wedding pictures.

A couple dances outside at sunset, with the woman in a flowing dress and the man in a suit

10.Con: If we got married, I don't know if we'd maintain this feeling of choosing each other every day.

Two people embrace and smile in a cozy room with a bicycle decor on the wall

11.Pro: My boyfriend's family would officially become my family.

I'm very lucky that my boyfriend comes from such a wonderful family. I visit everyone back in California a couple times a year, and I go out to lunch with his mom every time. I miss spending the holidays with them all! We've visited his dad across the country, and he's also visited us. I already think of them all as family, but it's cute to think his mom would officially be my mother-in-law (though I've already called her that for years, LOL).

12.And finally, con: It's what everyone expects us to do.

Two individuals stand at an outdoor event, one wearing a patterned short dress and boots, the other in a gold-patterned jacket and black pants. A colorful arch is in the background

Any other pros or cons to marriage? Whether you're married or unmarried, how did you come to your decision? LMK your thoughts in the comments below!