Yahoo Lifestyle 'Gladiator II' Jumps the Shark (Literally)
In 1977, the sitcom Happy Days launched its fifth season with a time-honored TV trope, sending its motley cast of characters on vacation. Scouted by Hollywood producers, Fonzie (Henry Winkler) and the cast fly to L.A. where the Fonz auditions to become the next James Dean. But while in Cali he is also (randomly) challenged by a local to jump over a shark on water skis (which he does). The ridiculousness of the plot line later caused two University of Michigan students to coin the phrase "jumping the shark" and create the website jumptheshark.com, which called out the point in a creative project where the storyline charges past the point of relevance and believability into something outlandish. Because in what semi-realistic world is a Milwaukee greaser vaulting a shark on water skis?
To raise a similar question: in what semi-realistic world is a gladiator vaulting from one ship to another in a flooded version of the Roman Coliseum while fully grown (and voracious) sharks swim nearby? In the sequel to a Best Picture-winning film, apparently.
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I'm of course referring to Gladiator II, which has been teasing fans with its Jaws-meets-The Hunger Games-style gladiatorial battle since the trailer dropped. The original Gladiator, which won five Oscars following its release in 2000, saw the sacked Roman general Maximus (Russell Crowe) seeking vengeance on the new emperor Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix) for murdering his wife and son. Now, over two decades later (in the film and real life), the story picks back up with Maximus' son Lucius Verus (Paul Mescal) following a similar journey.
At the end of Gladiator, Lucius is sent away from Rome by his mother Lucilla (Connie Nielsen), fearing that he will be murdered by power-hungry politicians. As the sequel begins, Lucius is living in the African kingdom of Numidia (modern-day Algeria) with his wife, when the Romans, led by Marcus Acacius (Pedro Pascal) siege the city as part of Rome's eternal (and largely inexplicable) land grab. Lucius' wife is killed and Lucius is dragged to Rome as a slave to begin his training as a gladiator. Meanwhile back in the capital, Lucilla has remarried Marcus Acacius and the empire is ruled by a pair of brothers (both of whom need to head back to Sephora to get their foundations re-matched to their skin tone). Geta (Joesph Quinn) is the slightly more hinged of the pair, with Caracalla (Fred Hechinger) becoming overly attached to his pet monkey seemingly due to some sort of STI that's eroding his brain. The brothers are hosting a gladiator festival. Lucius is competing. His mom is watching. He wants to murder her new husband. Various action sequences ensue.
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Paramount Pictures
On the whole, Gladiator II sticks closely to the plot of Gladiator in the standard "requel" format we've seen used in films like Scream (the fifth one), Jurassic World and Twisters. Requels, however, work best when either a) the original wasn't that great to begin with (Top Gun: Maverick, Mad Max: Fury Road), or b) the new film makes some big changes (Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, Creed). It's much more difficult to create a new classic when you're working from a beloved piece of IP—the Terminator, Jurassic Park and Indiana Jones reboots all being obvious examples.
The path set before Gladiator II, therefore, was fraught from the start. The original Gladiator is an astonishing feat of not only directing and acting but also craftsmanship. Not only does it hold up marvelously, but it was filmed in that glorious window in the late '90s where action scenes were still almost completely created using practical effects and CGI was just brought in to touch things up.
Outdoing the original would be a Herculean task. That's probably why the project has been in development since 2001, with director Ridley Scott relaying updates every few years. At one point Crowe was set to return and battle his way back from purgatory; at another Chris Hemsworth was set to lead. The final form of the sequel, however, is mostly the original with Crowe's role split between Mescal and Pascal and Phoenix's given to Quinn and Hechinger. Gladiator II is basically the Shein dupe of Gladiator, where everything is just a little shittier than the original.
From the opening naval battle, shoddy Marvel-esque CGI drags down the artistic quality of the film, while none of the leads are quite as starkly drawn (via the script or acting) as their original counterparts.
The only moments that veer off from the original are the outlandish action sequences, like the aforementioned shark battle, a Coliseum face-off with a rhinoceros, and a scuffle with the most wackadoo set of CGI monkey/humanoid creatures I've ever seen. While I'm not going to be a stickler for historical accuracy (several historians quit working on the original Gladiator, and I can't imagine they returned for this one), I wish the movie had either stuck with the (sort of) serious tone of the original or gone full camp. Gladiator II instead seems conflicted as to whether it's aiming to be The Fast and the Furious or Saving Private Ryan.
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Paramount Pictures
Firmly on the Vin Diesel side of the rubric, however, is Denzel Washington, playing the gladiator-trafficking Macrinus. Macrinus is the bisexual menace that Carrie Bradshaw warned us about, strutting around Rome flaunting cleavage, munching on grapes and swindling senators out of their estates. Washington, channeling Lady Gaga in House of Gucci, seems to be the only cast member informed by Scott of the movie's tone. A scene involving Washington and a severed head is easily the film's best, and he seems poised for another Oscar run.
On the Saving Private Ryan side of things, Scott is returning to this "Rome as a metaphor for the American dream" idea that creeps up briefly in the original. However, due to Gladiator II's end game, this idea that Rome was a beautiful democracy that has been tarnished by greed appears in a more earnest way. Historically this grafting seems dubious, but based on the fact we just saw a man name a monkey as Roman consul, the abrupt turn into modern American politics just seems a little silly. And also given how often straight men think about the Roman Empire, I doubt we need them believing that's the historical golden era we should be aiming to emulate.
Overall, Gladiator II is a fun ride and worth watching. Sure the action sequences jump the shark, but perhaps the film should have done even more shark-jumping. I just wouldn't recommend rewatching Gladiator in the leadup. It's sort of like how you shouldn't do a taste test between gluten free cookies and the real deal. Let your foggy memory make up for the gap in quality.
Rating: B-
