Giancarlo Esposito Was 'Scheming' His Murder Before “Breaking Bad ”Success to“ ”Get Life Insurance for Kids amid Bankruptcy

"I literally thought of self-annihilation so they could survive. That’s how low I was," the actor said of his deep desire to support his family during his financial challenges in 2008

<p>ABC/Lorenzo Bevilaqua/Getty</p> Giancarlo Esposito

ABC/Lorenzo Bevilaqua/Getty

Giancarlo Esposito

During a time of great hardship, Giancarlo Esposito once considered organizing his death in order to collect insurance money for his children.

During an appearance on Sirius XM's Jim & Sam, the Breaking Bad alum, 65, revealed that he was near bankruptcy before getting his break as Gus Fring on the AMC drama.

In 2008, his money woes reached such a low point, he considered arranging his own murder so his family could redeem a financial security net with his life insurance payout.

“My way out in my brain was: ‘Hey, do you get life insurance if someone commits suicide? Do they get the bread?’" he recalled. "My wife had no idea why I was asking this stuff. I started scheming. If I got somebody to knock me off, death by misadventure, [my kids] would get the insurance. I had four kids. I wanted them to have a life. It was a hard moment in time."

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"I literally thought of self-annihilation so they could survive. That’s how low I was," he added, before recalling how he realized his death would affect his family.

“That was the first inkling that there was a way out, but I wouldn’t be here to be available to my kids,” Esposito continued. “Then I started to think that’s not viable because the pain I would cause them would be lifelong, and there’d be lifelong trauma that would just extend the generational trauma I’m trying to move away from. The light at the end of the tunnel was Breaking Bad.”

On Breaking Bad, Esposito portrayed Fring, a corrupt drug kinpin, in the award-winning show. His performance earned him an Emmy nomination for outstanding supporting actor in 2012.

His role on the AMC series opened doors for new opportunities and the actor went on to star in The Mandalorian, The Boys and more. Esposito also starred in the Breaking Bad spinoff series, Better Call Saul, for which he also received two Emmy noms for his performance.

<p>Ben Leuner/AMC</p> Giancarlo Esposito in 'Breaking Bad'

Ben Leuner/AMC

Giancarlo Esposito in 'Breaking Bad'

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Though his role as Fring allowed him to dig himself out of his financial hole, Esposito revealed that he turned down a permanent offer to join the Breaking Bad franchise.

“I did a guest spot on that show, and even then, after doing one guest spot, they come back to do another. They offered me a contract; I said, ‘No.’ It empowered me,” he explained. “The reason I said no is because it was the end of the third season and they wanted me to sign a contract where I had six months."

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Esposito continued, "They would have given me some money, which would have been great, would have been a holding fee, but I would have to go to them to say, ‘Can I do the Disney project? Can I do this? Can I do that?’ And I was in fear that they would say no. I also didn’t know what their intention was.”

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to

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