Yahoo Lifestyle Consult a Coach: I recently returned from medical leave – how do I regain my confidence at work?
Welcome to Consult a Coach, our regular careers clinic for Bazaar readers. Send us your work dilemma, and we’ll ask our career agony aunt – the industry professional, executive coach and motivational speaker Jo Glynn-Smith – to share her expert advice.
Here, Jo advises a reader who has lost confidence after going on medical leave.
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Dear Jo,
I’ve just returned to work having been on medical leave for eight months. I’m completely fine now, but as far as work goes, I feel totally out of the loop and it’s really knocked my confidence, which is now affecting my performance. I have never had issues like this before, so how can I reclaim my former confidence and get back on track?
Jackie, 42
Jo says...
Hi Jackie,
Thanks for sending your question in about this important topic. It’s great to hear that you are back to good health. Getting into the swing of things after a significant break isn’t easy, so it makes sense that it’s taking you a bit of time to adjust. As much as things at work will have inevitably changed while you were gone, it’s also likely that your experience will have changed you slightly too. So, let’s look at what we can do to help you get your confidence back.
Firstly, let’s take a closer look at how ‘change’ affects us. As humans we respond well to certainty, familiarity and routine; they make us feel safe, stable and in control. Change, by its nature, is disruptive. It forces us to adjust quickly, creating discomfort, instability and stress – even more so when it comes out of the blue, like most medical situations do. I call these ‘life bombs’ because they have a way of blowing things up!
The way we see things, our self-perception, is unique, and our experiences (like the one you have just been through) play a huge role in developing this lens. Therefore, it makes sense that how you saw yourself and the world before your break is very different to how you see it all now. Ironically, it’s often the bad experiences that become the biggest catalyst for positive change, but it’s difficult to see that straight away.
You have worked hard to get better and return to work, only to feel left out and a bit lost, so it makes sense that you are frustrated. In most situations where our expectations aren’t met, we feel disappointment. This results in us searching for a reason, and questioning why it happened. Often we blame ourselves.
In instances like these, I like to get my clients away from thinking destructively and instead encourage them to focus on the present by using facts. I do this with some thought-provoking questions, so here are some for you:
Is it normal to feel out of the loop when you have been away from work for a significant period of time?
Is it likely that changes will have been made while you were away?
Would it make sense for someone in your situation to feel a bit disoriented, tired and frustrated as they get back into the rhythm of work?
Are there colleagues or leaders in the business who will understand that it’s going to take time for you to adjust, and who are willing to support you?
How likely is it that you will have to ask for help from others?
How likely is it that some of your personal values will have changed? (For example, work balance, connection, teamwork.)
Now that you have the facts, and have accepted that this is where you are right now, it should be much easier to move forward, one small step at a time. With each step forward you take, you will be building the person you are today and, with that, your newfound confidence.
Good luck!
Jo Glynn-Smith is a transformation coach, speaker and personal-brand expert from London who works with leaders, entrepreneurs and businesses to help maximise their team or individual potential. Before becoming a coach, she spent most of her career in the fashion industry working at the highest level with some of the biggest global brands. You can follow Jo for more coaching tips and advice on Instagram (@jojoglynnsmith) or visit her website, joglynnsmith.com.
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