Common relationship choice couples are being called out for: 'Arrogant'

There was a time, not that long ago when getting married was something you just did. It was sort of just a given that you'd meet the right person, date for a while, get engaged and then married, have some kids, grow old and die. Simple.

However, as life has evolved, so too has the way we think about what a relationship should look like or what it should entail. With so many marriages ending in divorce, is it any wonder some people are choosing to save their time and money and simply live together instead?

There's also the argument for why it's even necessary to get married these days - particularly in a country like Australia, where de facto relationships give you much the same rights as if you'd donned a tux or ballgown and said 'I do'.

Weddings on the rise despite the cost

Despite these factors, Aussies are still heading down the aisle (and spending, on average, $35k doing so) with Darcy Allen, Senior Wedding Planner at Easy Weddings telling Yahoo Lifestyle that, apart from the COVID years, the number of weddings in Australia has been consistent year on year.

In fact, Darcy says, "We are seeing a projected increase in the number of weddings due to happen in 2026 (124,278), in comparison to 2025 (120,678), which I would put down to the fact that a lot of couples are putting their plans on hold, or moving the wedding out another 1-2 years to save more money for the dream day they want to create."

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Darcy also told us that approximately 90% of modern couples live together before they are married.

But if you are already happily living together, sharing financial responsibilities and just generally living your best lives, why is throwing a big event even necessary? Why not take that hard-earned cash and invest it, use it to get ahead on your mortgage or towards a down payment for your first property?

Comedian says that weddings are 'arrogant'

It's a sentiment that comedian Simon Amstell unpacked in his Netflix special, Set Free.

"I think partly I just can't believe people are still getting married," he says. "People with degrees, what's going on? They've already lived together for 10 years, now they have to announce they're going to carry on as they are. Why do I have to go to Dorset for that?"

He continues, "Have to announce you're so happy. If you're so happy, stay in your house and shush. Just send an email saying 'It's going very well, carry on.'

"What would be wrong with this conversation: 'I love you', 'I love you too.'

"'Should we have a big event where we tell everyone we know?' 'Seems arrogant'.

"It's so smug. You wouldn't get everyone you know together to say, 'We've made so much money, we think it'll last until death.' With a bit at the end where you toss a bouquet of spare cash at the poor people."

While Amstell is laying it on thick for the sake of the bit, he does make some valid points, as noted by the fans who commented on the video.

"Finally someone said it 🗣️," was one reply.

"This wedding could have been an email"," someone else wrote.

"As a married woman … I agree," said another.

So, why get married?

As someone who is happily unmarried to my wonderful partner and who has no plans to ever "make it official" (I mean, more official than having a son, a dog and a mortgage), I can honestly say that while I love weddings for other people, for me, it just does not make sense. Why do we need to throw a big, expensive party to tell our friends and family what they (and, more importantly, we) already know - that we are madly in love and plan to spend the rest of our lives together? I don't need to throw on a Vera Wang column dress for that!

Yet, while I resonated with Simon's take on the whole "holy matrimony" thing, others were not quite as on board with the ideas that he put forward - like some of my colleagues for example, one of which said that his argument was "just dumb."

"It feels the same as just throwing a birthday party for yourself, though," another colleague said. "Like, you could just send an email and be like 'I'm turning 27 thanks!'"

However, the response that I, personally, found most compelling was from my co-worker who said, "There's no other day that you'll ever have all of these people that you love together in the same room, I don't see why you wouldn't want to celebrate and if you don't then just don't go," they said.

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This comment struck a nerve for sure. My partner is from England and that is where his family lives. Most of my family also live there. We have a ton of friends in London and, because I lived in the US for much of my adult life, some of my very closest friends are over there too. My two best friends have not yet had the chance to meet my partner or my son except over FaceTime. The idea of all of these worlds colliding in one place with an open bar, kick-ass playlist and a taco truck does feel worth splurging on.

But then I remember how much we are paying for our son to go to daycare each year and, suddenly, sending that email saying 'It's going very well, carry on' doesn't seem so bad after all.

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